The Lake Louise Sharland (each kindness read aloud txt) 📖

everything that has happened in the last few weeks, falters, like a computer program with a sudden blip. I try to speak but I can’t form words. I close my eyes to try and steady myself, but the opaque veil has already descended.

A paramedic is leaning over me, calling my name.

‘Kate? Can you hear me, Kate?’

I lift my hand to my throbbing temple. ‘It hurts.’

‘You had a bit of a knock,’ says the paramedic, ‘and a bit of a gash.’ There is some sort of dressing against my temple. ‘You were out for a little bit, so we’d like to take you to hospital to have you checked out.’

‘No hospital,’ I whimper, and pushing the paramedic’s hand away, I try to sit up. The pain in my head is so excruciating that I collapse back onto the stretcher.

‘It’s all right, honey.’ Adam is beside me now. I can smell his cologne. ‘They just want to check that your head is all right. That’s all, nothing else.’ He mutters something to the paramedic about checking my GCS.

‘Okay,’ I mumble, wishing only for the pain to go away and that I can sleep forever.

A foam support is slipped around my neck, and I feel the stretcher being lifted into the ambulance. I hear another voice. Grace. She’s speaking to Adam.

‘I want to ride with her in the ambulance.’

‘Only one person is allowed,’ Adam replies, sounding testy. ‘You can meet us at the hospital.’

I want Grace there, I think; and Simon and Ellie. I mutter something to the paramedic as he preps me for an IV line.

‘What’s that, love?’

‘Will Michael be there too?’

22

I spend two nights in hospital with severe concussion. When I’m finally discharged, both Adam and Grace come to collect me. I’m just folding my dressing gown when I hear them approach. The look on their faces is odd, almost conspiratorial, as if something has passed between them that I am not party to. Grace sits on the bed and pats the space next to her. I sit down and await her instructions.

‘Adam and I have been talking,’ she begins.

Adam is beside me now. I can feel the hairs on his arm tickle my wrist.

‘Kate,’ his voice is soft. ‘The doctor says that because you were unconscious for a time there is a possibility that you could experience some side effects from your head injury.’

‘Side effects?’

‘Post-concussion syndrome,’ says Grace, taking the baton. ‘Fatigue, disorientation, depression.’ Ah, the magic word. ‘The doctor has recommended that you’re not alone, that you’ve got someone watching over you for at least a week. That’s why I was thinking you could come and stay with me. That way I—’

‘The doctor also recommended that you’re somewhere familiar and comfortable,’ interrupts Adam, a slight edge in his voice. ‘With no stress.’

‘There’ll be no stress at my place,’ says Grace defensively.

‘It’s not fair on Ellie,’ Adam counters. ‘She needs you right now.’ Clever one, Adam. He leans past me to look at my sister. ‘You’ve been a fantastic support, Grace, but I’m her husband. She needs to be at home with me.’

I wonder if either of them has even thought to consult me about what I might want.

‘Look Adam, it’s not that I …’

Their voices fade into the background and I watch in amazement as the pattern on the wallpaper in front of me begins spinning and swirling. It becomes an enormous whirlpool, threatening to suck me in.

‘I want to go home,’ I say, extracting myself from the vortex. The thought of travelling all the way to Cambridge feels unbearable. If I can’t go back to my mother’s place, then at least I want to be somewhere familiar. Choose your battles, Katie.

‘Well I guess it’s settled then,’ Adam says. ‘I’ll take you home and either Grace or I will go to your mum’s and pick up your things.’

‘I need to speak to Doris,’ I say, ‘about the cat.’

‘I can do that,’ offers Grace.

‘No!’ I hadn’t meant to yell. ‘I need to speak to her myself.’

‘Okay,’ says Grace, exchanging a look with Adam.

‘I’ll be taking leave for the next week,’ says Adam. ‘So you won’t be on your own. We’ll see how it goes after that; maybe get someone in if we need to.’

All settled then.

I nod, grateful for not having to think too much. Thinking at the moment seems difficult, elusive, like trying to capture a flower petal in water.

‘I’ll tell the nurse,’ says Adam, marching off.

I turn to Grace. ‘What about Ryan?’ She looks uncomfortable and even though my brain is foggy, I understand at once. ‘I get that you and Adam agreed not to talk to me about him, but I have a right to know.’

Grace glances towards the nurse’s desk. ‘He was pretty upset. Adam didn’t help by going completely ballistic.’

‘What?’

‘Honestly, Kate, be glad you were unconscious. The pair of them caused such a scene. Ryan was crying and apologising, and Adam was threatening to beat the crap out of him. I thought we were going to have to call the police.’

‘Jesus.’ The next question proves difficult, but I have to ask. ‘And where is he now?’

‘Home, I think,’ says Grace, ‘in the West Midlands. He did ring me to see how you were, but Adam said if he tried to show up at the hospital he’d kill him.’

‘What a mess,’ I mumble.

‘It’s not your fault, Kat.’

I think of the lies, the manipulation, the payoffs; the devastation that I have left in my path. All I want to do now is bury myself under the covers and never come out. My head starts thumping and I’m forced to lean back onto the pillows to stop the vertigo.

‘Is she all right?’ says Adam, now returned to my side. ‘Do we need a consult?’

I wave my hand in reassurance. ‘Just a little dizzy, that’s all.’

Adam strokes my hand. ‘It will be fine, darling; everything will be fine.’ Leaning closer, he whispers, ‘We can start again; forget the past.’

‘Yes,’ I reply, but I wonder to myself whether