Trapped (Bullied Book 4) (Bullied Series) Vera Hollins (best large ereader txt) 📖

chocolate eyes weren’t on me—no, they were on Kev, and it was a look of so much longing I wished I were Cupid so I could get those two together.

This reminded me—I hadn’t talked to Kev about Marcus.

I inched closer to Kevin so I could talk to him without others pricking up their ears. “I talked to Marcus last week.”

He gave me a side glance. “Yes?”

“He told me he’s gay.”

Kev did a double take at me before he looked at Marcus. Almost immediately, Marcus looked away and scratched his neck. That was so cute!

“Marcus is gay? But why did he ask you out th-th-then?”

“Brace yourself. He asked me out because he likes you.”

His eyes bugged out, blush paving its way across his face. He gaped at Marcus, who was now staring at his phone.

“B-B-But I don’t understand. It doesn’t make sense.”

I shrugged. “He wanted to get closer to you. I know it’s not the right way to go about it, not by a long shot, but I think it’s sweet.”

His blush intensified. “So he doesn’t like you at all?”

“Nope, and he asked me to talk to you and tell you he wants to ask you out.”

“Ask me out?” he said in a high-pitched voice, wide-eyed. “I…I don’t know.”

“Do you like him? You said he was cute.”

He fidgeted as he stared at his shoes. “He’s really cute, but I, I, I’ve never thought about him that way.”

“Well, think about it. You two would make a nice couple.”

He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “If you think so.”

“I do. He also likes music and sings, as you can see, and he told me once he’s a hardcore Star Wars fan. Just like you!”

“Really? That’s awesome.” The lack of excitement in his voice produced a sinking sensation in my stomach.

I knew well where this mild reaction came from, but I tried not to think about it. I couldn’t expect him to be ecstatic about Marcus, but I hoped he would find someone who could reciprocate his feelings.

I suppressed a fresh wave of guilt and focused on Ms. Donovan. Shelly had just finished her song, and it was time for all of us to practice for the festival performance.

Marcus often looked at Kevin, but Kev constantly stared at his shoes, singing with zero enthusiasm, and I felt like a terrible friend. We ended the song, and Ms. Donovan called it a day. Wanting to cheer Kevin up, I headed out of the classroom behind him, but the teacher called out for me.

“Jessica, may I have a moment of your time?”

I twisted my hands together. I’d forgotten I was supposed to tell her my decision about my solo.

“Sure.” I glanced at Kevin and offered him a huge smile. “See you tonight.” One of Hayden’s friends was throwing a party, and we’d all been invited.

He nodded, half-smiling, and rushed out of the classroom. I caught Marcus’s gaze and read the question in his eyes. I shrugged my shoulder. Kevin hadn’t refused to go out with him, but he also hadn’t agreed.

Ms. Donovan turned to face me when the classroom emptied. “So, have you made your decision?”

I bit the inside of my cheek as my pulse sped up. I felt I was standing at a crossroads, and my decision would determine who I was going to be: a coward or a fighter.

My stomach hurt just imagining myself out there, all alone in front of the whole school, doing what I’d dreaded all these years. It would be the most horrifying experience of my life that could lead to the ultimate embarrassment I wouldn’t be able to recover from.

Then again, running away from it would enforce my being a coward. It would prevent me from moving forward and actually doing something important in my life. I couldn’t become a singer if I couldn’t face my fears. I would have to kiss my dream goodbye and regret it for the rest of my life.

I didn’t want to confront my fears.

I was dying to get rid of them.

This could prove to be the worst decision of my life.

This could prove to be the best decision I’d ever made.

Follow your dreams, Jess.

I swallowed the bile that rose up my throat and raised my head to look at her. “Yes,” I answered in a shaky voice. “I’m going to do the solo.”

Her eyes filled with pride. “Excellent! That’s the best decision you could’ve made, Jessica. Let yourself shine.”

I returned her smile, but inside, I was absolutely terrified. How I was going to get my voice to work in front of an audience was beyond me.

I just hoped I’d made the right call.

The Uber driver pulled up behind one of many cars parked in the driveway of a large three-story house. I got out thinking about the session I’d had with Susan earlier. I’d told her about my decision to do my solo, and she’d praised me for taking charge of my life. She was sure I would be able to perform when the time came. As much as I wanted to share her enthusiasm, most of the scenarios my brain concocted weren’t good.

She was positive that the solo would boost my self-confidence and improve the way I saw myself, and somewhere deep down, I knew this could be a way to deal with my self-loathing. If I could prove to myself I had actual worth, I would, for once, enjoy being myself.

She also gave me homework. She told me to take a look in the mirror and find one positive thing for every negative thing I saw on myself and write it down. I did that, and it turned out I had more features I liked than I’d thought. I taped the list to my mirror, determined to focus more on the positives than the negatives.

I checked my reflection in my compact mirror when the Uber driver drove away and smiled. My blue eyes stood out with eyeliner and a mix of light and dark shadows that made