Journey from St. Petersburg to Moscow Irina Reyfman (snow like ashes .TXT) 📖

he will also love me, I have no doubt about that. I do not like going out with young men, but wish to get married, Master. And do you know why?” said Anyuta, lowering her eyes. “My dear, tell me, Anyutushka, do not be ashamed. On the lips of innocence all words are blameless.” “Here is what I will tell you. Last summer, a year ago, the son of our neighbor married my friend with whom I always used to attend gatherings. Her husband loves her, and she loves him so much that she bore him a son in the tenth month after their marriage. Every evening she goes out to fuss over him at the gates. She cannot look at him enough. It seems that the little boy, too, already loves his mother. She says ‘goo goo’ and he laughs aloud. I am on the verge of tears daily. I so much would love myself to have a little boy like that….” I was unable to contain myself and embraced Anyuta and kissed her with all my heart. “Look here, Master, what a sham you are, you are already dallying with me. Sir, off you go, stay away from me, leave a poor orphan,” said Anyuta bursting into tears. “If my father were alive and saw this then he would have given you quite a hiding, despite the fact that you are a master.” “Do not be offended, my dear Anyutushka, do not be offended, my kiss will not defile your innocence. In my eyes, it is sacred. My kiss is a sign of the respect I bear you and was wrenched by rapture from a deeply moved soul. Do not fear me, dear Anyuta, I am not akin to a beast of prey like our young lordlings who consider the violation of virginity as a mere trifle. Had I known that my kiss was going to offend you, I swear to you before God that I would never have dared.” “Consider for yourself, Master, how could I not get cross about a kiss when they are all already promised to another? They have already been given in advance and I have no power over them.” “You delight me. You already know how to love.67 You have found another heart suited to your own. You will be blessed. Nothing will debase your union. You will not be surrounded by spies trying to ensnare you in their web of perdition. The friend-of-your-heart’s hearing will not be ensnared by a seductive voice tempting him to the destruction of his fidelity to you. But why then, my dear Anyuta, are you deprived of the satisfaction of enjoying happiness in the embraces of your sweet friend?” “Ah, Master, because they will not permit him to move to our house. They want one hundred rubles. And my mother will not give me up: I am her only worker.” “Does he love you?” “And how can he not! In the evenings, he comes to our house and together we look at my girlfriend’s little boy…. He would like such a little one of his own. I will be sad, but shall have to put up with it. My Vanyukha68 wants to go to Piter69 on the barges to work and not come back until he has earned a hundred rubles toward buying his freedom.” “Do not let him, dear Anyutushka, do not let him go; he is going to his doom. There, he will learn to get drunk, to be profligate, to be a glutton, learn to stop loving fieldwork—and the worst of it is that he will stop loving you.” “Ah, Master, do not scare me,” said Anyuta, nearly crying. “It will be all the sooner, Anyuta, if he happens to serve in the nobleman’s house. The example of the master infects the upper servants, the lower ones catch it from the upper servants, and from them the infection of debauchery reaches as far as the countryside. An example is a true plague: to see something is to do it.” “Then what should we do? So I will never be married to him. It is, indeed, time for him to wed. He doesn’t chase after others; since I am not allowed to marry him and go live in his house they will plight his troth to another girl, and I, poor me, will die from grief….” She said this, weeping bitter tears. “No, my dear Anyutushka, tomorrow you will be married to him. Lead me to your mother.” “Here’s where we live,” she said as she stopped. “Walk past, my mamma will see me and think ill. And even though she does not beat me, her word alone is worse than any blows.” “No, my Anyuta, I’ll go with you …” and, without waiting for her answer, I entered the gates and went straight up the steps to the hut. Anyuta shouted after me, “Stop, Master, stop.” But I paid no need. In the hut, I found Anyuta’s mother who was mixing dough; next to her, on the bench sat her future son-in-law. Without further hemming and hawing, I told her that I wanted her daughter to marry Ivan and to that end I had brought her what was needed to eliminate an impediment to that business. “Thank you, Master, “said the old lady, “there is no need for this anymore. Vanyukha has just now come to say that his father gives him leave to come to my home. So we will have the wedding on Sunday.” “Then let what I have promised be Anyuta’s dowry.” “And for that thank you. Boyars do not give dowries to maidens for no reason. If you have wronged my Anyuta, and that is why you are giving her a dowry, then God will punish you for your bad conduct; but I shall not take your money. If you are a good person and do not abuse the poor, bad people will think who knows what if I