Doctor Thorne Anthony Trollope (best english books to read for beginners txt) 📖

a show of manhood⁠—some show also of affection. “You ain’t angry now because I’ve sent for Fillgrave?”

“Not in the least,” said the doctor very complacently. “Not in the least. Fillgrave will do as much good as I can do you.”

“And that’s none at all, I suppose; eh, Thorne?”

“That depends on yourself. He will do you good if you will tell him the truth, and will then be guided by him. Your wife, your servant, anyone can be as good a doctor to you as either he or I; as good, that is, in the main point. But you have sent for Fillgrave now; and of course you must see him. I have much to do, and you must let me go.”

Scatcherd, however, would not let him go, but held his hand fast. “Thorne,” said he, “if you like it, I’ll make them put Fillgrave under the pump directly he comes here. I will indeed, and pay all the damage myself.”

This was another proposition to which the doctor could not consent; but he was utterly unable to refrain from laughing. There was an earnest look of entreaty about Sir Roger’s face as he made the suggestion; and, joined to this, there was a gleam of comic satisfaction in his eye which seemed to promise, that if he received the least encouragement he would put his threat into execution. Now our doctor was not inclined to taking any steps towards subjecting his learned brother to pump discipline; but he could not but admit to himself that the idea was not a bad one.

“I’ll have it done, I will, by heavens! if you’ll only say the word,” protested Sir Roger.

But the doctor did not say the word, and so the idea was passed off.

“You shouldn’t be so testy with a man when he is ill,” said Scatcherd, still holding the doctor’s hand, of which he had again got possession; “specially not an old friend; and specially again when you’re been a-blowing of him up.”

It was not worth the doctor’s while to aver that the testiness had all been on the other side, and that he had never lost his good-humour; so he merely smiled, and asked Sir Roger if he could do anything further for him.

“Indeed you can, doctor; and that’s why I sent for you⁠—why I sent for you yesterday. Get out of the room, Winterbones,” he then said, gruffly, as though he were dismissing from his chamber a dirty dog. Winterbones, not a whit offended, again hid his cup under his coattail and vanished.

“Sit down, Thorne, sit down,” said the contractor, speaking quite in a different manner from any that he had yet assumed. “I know you’re in a hurry, but you must give me half an hour. I may be dead before you can give me another; who knows?”

The doctor of course declared that he hoped to have many a half-hour’s chat with him for many a year to come.

“Well, that’s as may be. You must stop now, at any rate. You can make the cob pay for it, you know.”

The doctor took a chair and sat down. Thus entreated to stop, he had hardly any alternative but to do so.

“It wasn’t because I’m ill that I sent for you, or rather let her ladyship send for you. Lord bless you, Thorne; do you think I don’t know what it is that makes me like this? When I see that poor wretch, Winterbones, killing himself with gin, do you think I don’t know what’s coming to myself as well as him?

“Why do you take it then? Why do you do it? Your life is not like his. Oh, Scatcherd! Scatcherd!” and the doctor prepared to pour out the flood of his eloquence in beseeching this singular man to abstain from his well-known poison.

“Is that all you know of human nature, doctor? Abstain. Can you abstain from breathing, and live like a fish does under water?”

“But Nature has not ordered you to drink, Scatcherd.”

“Habit is second nature, man; and a stronger nature than the first. And why should I not drink? What else has the world given me for all that I have done for it? What other resource have I? What other gratification?”

“Oh, my God! Have you not unbounded wealth? Can you not do anything you wish? be anything you choose?”

“No,” and the sick man shrieked with an energy that made him audible all through the house. “I can do nothing that I would choose to do; be nothing that I would wish to be! What can I do? What can I be? What gratification can I have except the brandy bottle? If I go among gentlemen, can I talk to them? If they have anything to say about a railway, they will ask me a question: if they speak to me beyond that, I must be dumb. If I go among my workmen, can they talk to me? No; I am their master, and a stern master. They bob their heads and shake in their shoes when they see me. Where are my friends? Here!” said he, and he dragged a bottle from under his very pillow. “Where are my amusements? Here!” and he brandished the bottle almost in the doctor’s face. “Where is my one resource, my one gratification, my only comfort after all my toils. Here, doctor; here, here, here!” and, so saying, he replaced his treasure beneath his pillow.

There was something so horrifying in this, that Dr. Thorne shrank back amazed, and was for a moment unable to speak.

“But, Scatcherd,” he said at last; “surely you would not die for such a passion as that?”

“Die for it? Aye, would I. Live for it while I can live; and die for it when I can live no longer. Die for it! What is that for a man to do? Do not men die for a shilling a day? What is a man the worse for dying? What can I be the worse for dying? A man can die