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you can’t. Let me see, I don’t remember you hooking up with anyone after your rebound fling with Aiden two years ago.”

“Two years? No way, it hasn’t been that long.” I remember Aiden. Topher played wingman and set us up one night we were out. He deemed it long enough since what happened with Brian and I needed to get back out there. Hence, Aiden. I won’t lie, it was a good three weeks, but he hinted at more and there was no way I was going to do more ever again.

“Yeah, it has, Elita.” His soft voice gives away his feelings of pity for me.

“I’ve been busy.” It’s not a lie. I have been. Working hard and long trying to prove to Tony that I was all in. And maybe looking at expanding or getting into partnership ranks. Plus, I have been saving for my trip to all the places I’ve wanted to visit.

“I get it. I know you have. But I think it’s more than that. I think you’re scared to open up again.”

I let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “I just…” Am I scared? Of course, I am. I know what it feels like to be walked away from too many times. “I just don’t want to do it again. Not sex. I mean all the other bullshit. I think some people are just not meant to be with anyone. And I’m one of them.”

I hear a slosh on the floor, I lift the cucumbers from my eyes and see two sad looking ones staring back at me. His sitting up, seaweed slipping off him.

“You can’t be serious. You really think that?” His puppy dog eyes look at me, broken.

I shrug, “Yeah, but it’s ok. I’m happy with that. I have you.”

“Yeah, but eventually I’m gonna get married and settle down.”

“Really? You are?” I have never heard him talk like this before.

“I mean one day, yeah, definitely. I have a lot of love to give someone and hopefully a bunch of little someones. I can’t wait to be a dad.”

“Wow.” I sit up, too. Trying to hold the seaweed from slipping. It’s fruitless. Instead, I grab the towel from the side table and cover my front. “You would make an amazing dad.”

“I know, right?” He smiles big. “You would make an amazing mum, too, you know.”

I bite the inside of my lip as I remember Anna in my dreams. I know it isn’t real, and it’s just a dream, but I still can’t help the feeling of failure. Not being able to bring her out of where she’s stuck.

“You mean auntie.” I smile, changing the track of my mind to happier thoughts.

“Yep, Aunt Elita.”

“Can’t wait. So are we looking for Mr. Right?” I ask.

“Maybe not right now. Let’s get past this thing we shall not speak of first.”

“True.” I nod.

“Maybe instead of looking for Mr. Right, Elita, you should look for Mr. Right Now. You know, to rub off some tension you’re feeling?” He winks.

“And here we go back to that.”

“Damn straight.” He turns to sit facing me, his legs hanging off the table. “Then you can finally answer something I have been thinking about for ages.”

“What?” I ask wearily.

“I mean, Leo is like superhero material. Crazy strong. Crazy fast. Crazy hot.” He goes on.

“Okay?” I grab the bottle of water from the side table, opening the lid and taking a sip.

“So, when he like, you know…” He winks. “Reaches his climax and say you’re on top. Would it be like a volcano erupting? Like would you fly through the roof?”

Water sprays from my mouth, splashing all over Topher’s face and seaweed wrap. I think some actually came out of my nose, too.

Topher’s laughter rings throughout the whole room as my face goes red. Thankfully the door opens, and a confused looking therapist stands there at the scene before her.

“That was classic.” He chuckles.

“That’s one way to describe it. I don’t think I’m going to be able to look at him the same now.”

Topher’s chuckles turn to roars of laughter. “Join the club, sister.”

The rest of the spa I opted to have my headphones in. We did the talking bit, and that ended with a bang. Not even joking. So now music flows through my ears, taking me to another place. Another life. Where these lyrics send me on a journey with them. I listen to each song, playing out the visions in my mind. My own little four-minute movies. This trick I learned when I would hide as a little girl.

It was a pity that I didn’t have these headphones back then. It would have made it easier to get to my safe place if I had. Even if these wireless headphones were around, we certainly could not have afforded them.

Funny how I’m here laying chest down with hot stones on my back. In the most beautiful expensive place, I have ever been in my life. And still need to find an escape from my racing mind.

With these songs and love stories playing out in my mind and in my ears, there is only one face that’s the lead in all the clips. Damn him. Damn Topher and Leo to Hell. Never had I seen faces of anyone in my daydreams. Their faces were always blurred, fuzzy or unfocused. Now every song of passion and heat I feel his hands on me. His lips trailing down my neck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I need to stop. I slowly unbend my arm from resting on the table and tap the headset off. First start with the music. No more sexy songs. These hot stones aren’t helping, making me feel so intoxicated and heating me up from the inside. There is a need burning inside, in places that long to be touched again. It’s overpowering, and unexpected from just a few love songs. I blink my eyes open.

Standing at the door is Leo, in his buttoned-down suit and penetrating eyes which are currently trailing over my exposed back.

Words don’t seem to

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