Hudibras Samuel Butler (free novels to read TXT) đ
- Author: Samuel Butler
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Whether it win or lose the game;
True as the dial to the sun,
Although it be not shinâd upon.
But when these brethren in evil,
Their adversaries, and the devil,
Began once more to shew them play,
And hopes, at least, to have a day,
They rallyâd in parades of woods,
And unfrequented solitudes;
Convenâd at midnight in outhouses,
Tâ appoint new-rising rendezvouses,
And, with a pertinacy unmatchâd,
For new recruits of danger watchâd.
No sooner was one blow diverted,
But up another party started;
And, as if nature too, in haste
To furnish out supplies as fast,
Before her time, had turnâd destruction
Tâ a new and numerous production,
No sooner those were overcome,
But up rose others in their room,
That, like the Christian faith, increast
The more, the more they were supprest:
Whom neither chains, nor transportation,
Proscription, sale, or confiscation,
Nor all the desperate events
Of former tryâd experiments,
Nor wounds could terrify, nor mangling,
To leave off loyalty and dangling;
Nor death (with all his bones) affright
From ventâring to maintain the right,
From staking life and fortune down
âGainst all together, for the crown;
But kept the title of their cause
From forfeiture, like claims in laws:
And provâd no prospârous usurpation
Can ever settle in the nation;
Until, in spite of force and treason,
They put their loyalty in possession;
And by their constancy and faith,
Destroyâd the mighty men of Gath.
Tossâd in a furious hurricane,
Did Oliver give up his reign;172
And was believâd, as well by saints,
As mortal men and miscreants,
To founder in the Stygian ferry;
Until he was retrievâd by Sterry;
Who, in a false erroneous dream,
Mistook the New Jerusalem
Profanely for thâ apocryphal
False Heaven at the end oâ thâ hall;173
Whither it was decreed by fate
His precious reliques to translate.
So Romulus was seen before
Bâ as orthodox a senator,174
From whose divine illumination
He stole the Pagan revelation.
Next him his son and heir apparent
Succeeded, though a lame vicegerent;175
Who first laid by the Parliament,
The only crutch on which he leant;
And then sunk underneath the state,
That rode him above horsemanâs weight.
And now the saints began their reign,
For which thâ had yearnâd so long in vain,
And felt such bowel-hankerings,
To see an empire all of kings.
Deliverâd from the Egyptian awe
Of justice, government, and law,
And free tâ erect what spiritual cantons
Should be revealâd, or gospel Hans-Towns,
To edify upon the ruins
Of John of Leydenâs old out-goings;176
Who for a weather-cock hung up,
Upon the mother churchâs top:
Was made a type, by Providence,
Of all their revelations since;
And now fulfillâd by his successors,
Who equally mistook their measures:
For when they came to shape the model,
Not one could fit anotherâs noddle;
But found their light and gifts more wide
From fadging than thâ unsanctifyâd;
While evâry individual brother
Strove hand to fist against another;
And still the maddest, and most crackt,
Were found the busiest to transact:
For though most hands dispatch apace,
And make light work, (the proverb says,)
Yet many diffârent intellects
Are found tâ have contrary effects;
And many heads tâ obstruct intrigues,
As slowest insects have most legs.
Some were for setting up a king;
But all the rest for no such thing,
Unless King Jesus. Others tamperâd
For Fleetwood, Desborough, and Lambert;
Some for the Rump, and some, more crafty,
For Agitators, and the safety;
Some for the gospel, and massacres
Of spiritual affidavit-makers,
That swore to any human regence,
Oaths of supremacy and allegiance;
Yea, though the ablest swearing saint
That vouchâd the bulls oâ the Covenant:
Others for pulling down thâ high places
Of synods and provincial classes,
That usâd to make such hostile inroads
Upon the saints, like bloody Nimrods:
Some for fulfilling prophecies,
And thâ expiration of thâ excise;
And some against thâ Egyptian bondage
Of holy-days, and paying poundage:
Some for the cutting down of groves,
And rectifying bakersâ loaves;
And some for finding out expedients
Against the slavâry of obedience:
Some were for gospel ministers,
And some for red-coat seculars,
As men most fit tâ hold forth the word,
And wield the one and thâ other sword:
Some were for carrying on the work
Against the Pope, and some the Turk:
Some for engaging to suppress
The Camisado of surplices,
That gifts and dispensations hinderâd,
And turnâd to thâ outward man the inward;
More proper for the cloudy night
Of popery than gospel light:
Others were for abolishing
That tool of matrimony, a ring,
With which thâ unsanctifyâd bridegroom
Is marryâd only to a thumb
(As wise as ringing of a pig,
That usâd to break up ground, and dig;)
The bride to nothing but her will,
That nulls the after-marriage still:
Some were for thâ utter extirpation
Of linsey-woolsey in the nation;
And some against all idolizing
The cross in shops-books, or baptizing;
Others to make all things recant
The Christian or surname of saint;
And force all churches, streets, and towns,
The holy title to renounce:
Some âgainst a third estate of souls,
And bringing down the price of coals:
Some for abolishing black-pudding,
And eating nothing with the blood in;
To abrogate them roots and branches;
While others were for eating haunches
Of warriors, and now and then,
The flesh of kings and mighty men;
And some for breaking of their bones
With rods of irân, by secret ones;
For thrashing mountains, and with spells
For hallowing carriersâ packs and bells:
Things that the legend never heard of,
But made the wicked sore afearâd of.
The quacks of government (who sate
At thâ unregarded helm of state,
And understood this wild confusion
Of fatal madness and delusion,
Must, sooner than a prodigy,
Portend destruction to be nigh)
Considerâd timely how tâ withdraw,
And save their wind-pipes from the law;
For one rencounter at the bar
Was worse than all thâ had âscapâd in war;
And therefore met in consultation,
To cant and quack upon the nation;
Not for the sickly patientâs sake;
Nor what to give but what to take;
To feel the pulses of their fees,
More wise than fumbling arteries:
Prolong the snuff of life in pain,
And from the grave recoverâ âGain.
âMong these there was a politician177
With more heads than a beast in vision,
And more intrigues in evâry one
Than all the whores of Babylon;
So politic, as if one eye
Upon the other were a spy,
That, to trepan the one to think
The other blind, both strove to blink;
And in his dark pragmatic way,
As busy as a child at play.
Hâ had seen three governments run down,
And had a hand in evâry one;
Was for âem and against âem all,
But barbârous when they came to fall:
For, by trepanning thâ old to ruin,
He made his intârest with the new one;
Playâd true and faithful, though against
His conscience, and was still advancâd:
For by the witchcraft of rebellion
Transformâd
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