The Secret Sister M. DeLuca (read 50 shades of grey .txt) 📖

The click of the lighter and Birdie’s heavy breathing were the only things I heard. A cloud of smoke drifted by my nose. A pungent, musky smell. Patti’s hand appeared in front of my eyes, the nails covered in chipped purple polish.

“Take a drag, baby. Your eye won’t hurt no more.”

I’d only smoked once when Duane and Loni decided I could have the last toke of their joint. They’d all laughed when I choked my guts up. Now tears pooled in my sore eye. I shook my head.

“Go on, baby. It won’t hurt. Take a hit. It’ll make you feel real good. Relaxed.”

I glanced up at Birdie. She motioned with her eyes as if to say go along with it.

“Don’t look at her, baby. She don’t give a rat’s ass about you.”

I took the joint and put it to my lips. The smoke tickled my nose as I inhaled deep, feeling the hot, dry hit and holding my breath so I wouldn’t lose it. When my chest was about to burst, I let it all out. Its bitter taste crept into my throat and mouth and nose. I handed it to Patti and fell back against the couch, my eyes heavy, my heart throbbing in my ears.

“Hey, Patti, you got that kid high,” said Lester in a weird sing-songy voice. “I’ll have to report you to the au-thor-i-ties.”

“It’s medicinal, Lester. Pain relief. No worries.” She sucked back a long drag, her throat straining to keep the smoke down, then exhaled a billowing cloud of smoke. Lester grabbed the joint and took a long hit. We all sat back looking up at Birdie. Her left foot tapped on the floor. She chewed at her fingernails. The other hand plucked at the hair above her left ear.

“Now what we gonna do with this little bully?” said Lester.

Patti shuffled her leg up underneath her butt. “How ’bout medication? You got something to maybe knock her out a bit? Cos we can’t deal with this kind of ant-eye-social behavior here.”

Lester eased his ass off the couch and shuffled into the kitchen. I heard him rooting around in the drawers. Birdie shifted from one foot to another.

“Don’t need nothing,” she mumbled.

Patti stiffened up, her eyes bulging. I felt sick, scared and sleepy. “Did I ask you to open your filthy mouth, you little shit? Did I?”

Birdie shook her head. Nausea flooded my throat but I couldn’t move.

Lester returned with a handful of pill bottles. “I think we got something here might work. Left over from the last kids.”

He shook a couple of pills from each container into the palm of his hand and held them out to Birdie. “Here – take ’em.”

She shook her head and edged backwards. But Lester was on his feet in a minute, his chin jutting out like a freaked-out bulldog.

I sat bolt upright. “No – don’t make her.”

Patti’s arm locked across my chest like an iron barrier. I started to cry when he got Birdie in a choke hold from behind, forced the pills into her mouth and clamped his hand over her lips. Her feet pedaled underneath her like she was trying to run somewhere – anywhere – but she was stuck, her arms flapping liked a bird’s wings.

“The glass,” he shouted to Patti, pointing at a half glass of Coke on the coffee table. She reached it up to him and he pinched Birdie’s nose and poured the liquid down her throat. He held a hand across her mouth for a few minutes of muffled sobs and moans. Her body heaved until there was no fight left in her. I tried to jerk myself away from Patti but Lester swung around, let go of Birdie and shoved me backwards. My head thunked against the back of the couch jarring my teeth and sending a wave of pain across my swollen eye.

When I opened my eyes again, Birdie was crawling along the floor, trying to pull herself upwards by holding onto a chair. Her body made weird, jerky movements like a half-dead wasp that you’ve batted enough to stun but is still trying to escape. She pulled herself upright and placed her hands on the wall. The wall with the flowery wallpaper. She was trying to climb up that wall, her legs jerky and splayed like a spider’s. I cried so hard when she kept flopping down and getting up again as if those flowers were a pathway to some magic woodland world. To a place where there was no pain and no terror. She did that until she collapsed in a ragged heap, knocked out by the meds they’d given her.

I touched my tight, swollen eye that burned with tears while Lester and Patti shook with laughter.

22

I made an excuse to get out of the staff meeting so I could leave school early. Besides, I’d squirmed my way through the first thirty minutes, chewing my nails, tapping my fingers on the table, and scrolling through my phone. It didn’t matter now I was quitting, I didn’t give a damn what anyone said. I had to sort my head out and get control of myself before I went home to Guy. Had to come to terms with what I’d done to my sister. Betrayed her. Squealed on her. Let those junkies abuse her like that. And all because I was pissed off. Mad at her for letting Loni hit me. For choosing Loni over me. I was an evil bitch. Loni was right.

I grabbed my bag from the classroom and was about to leave when Sabrina strode into the room. She stood there, hands on her hips, blocking my exit. I needed to get out so bad I could’ve mowed her down right there and then, but I didn’t. I swallowed my rage and stood there, silently seething.

“What’s going on with you?” she said, moving herself into my path so I’d look at her. I couldn’t.

“It’s best if you just let me get by,”