Hudibras Samuel Butler (free novels to read TXT) đ
- Author: Samuel Butler
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Before we further do proceed,
It doth behove us to say something
Of that which bore our valiant bumpkin.
The beast was sturdy, large, and tall,
With mouth of meal, and eyes of wall.
I would say eye; for hâ had but one,
As most agree; thoâ some say none.
He was well stayâd; and in his gait
Preservâd a grave, majestick state.
At spur or switch no more he skipt,
Or mended pace, than Spaniard whipt;
And yet so fiery, he would bound
As if he grievâd to touch the ground:
That Caesarâs horse who, as fame goes
Had corns upon his feet and toes,32
Was not by half so tender hooft,
Nor trod upon the ground so soft.
And as that beast would kneel and stoop
(Some write) to take his rider up,
So Hudibras his (âtis well known)
Would often do to set him down.
We shall not need to say what lack
Of leather was upon his back;
For that was hidden under pad,
And breech of Knight, gallâd full as bad.
His strutting ribs on both sides showâd
Like furrows he himself had plowâd;
For underneath the skirt of pannel,
âTwixt evâry two there was a channel.
His draggling tail hung in the dirt,
Which on his rider he would flirt,
Still as his tender side he prickâd,
With armâd heel, or with unarmâd, kickâd;
For Hudibras wore but one spur;
As wisely knowing, could he stir
To active trot one side of âs horse,
The other would not hang an arse.
A squire he had, whose name was Ralph,
That in thâ adventure went his half:
Though writers, for more stately tone,
Do call him Ralpho; âtis all one;
And when we can with metre safe,
Weâll call him so; if not, plain Ralph.
(For rhyme the rudder is of verses,
With which like ships they steer their courses.)
An equal stock of wit and valour
He had laid in; by birth a tailor.
The mighty Tyrian queen, that gainâd
With subtle shreds a tract of land,33
Did leave it with a castle fair
To his great ancestor, her heir.
From him descended cross-leggâd knights,
Famâd for their faith, and warlike fights
Against the bloody cannibal,
Whom they destroyâd both great and small.
This sturdy Squire he had, as well
As the bold Trojan knight, seen Hell;34
Not with a counterfeited pass
Of golden bough, but true gold-lace.
His knowledge was not far behind
The Knightâs, but of another kind,
And he another way came by ât:
Some call it Gifts, and some New-Light;
A liberal art that costs no pains
Of study, industry, or brains.
His wit was sent him for a token,
But in the carriage crackâd and broken.
Like commendation nine-pence crookâd,
Withâ âTo and from my loveâ âit lookâd.
He neâer considerâd it, as loth
To look a gift-horse in the mouth;
And very wisely would lay forth
No more upon it than âtwas worth.
But as he got it freely, so
He spent it frank and freely too.
For Saints themselves will sometimes be
Of gifts that cost them nothing, free.
By means of this, with hem and cough,
Prolongers to enlightenâd stuff,
He could deep mysteries unriddle
As easily as thread a needle.
For as of vagabonds we say,
That they are neâer beside their way;
Whateâer men speak by this New Light,
Still they are sure to be iâ thâ right.
âTis a dark-lantern of the spirit,
Which none see by but those that bear it:
A light that falls down from on high,
For spiritual trades to cozen by:
An ignis fatuus, that bewitches
And leads men into pools and ditches,
To make them dip themselves, and sound
For Christendom in dirty pond;
To dive like wild-fowl for salvation,
And fish to catch regeneration.
This light inspires and plays upon
The nose of saint like bag-pipe drone,
And speaks through hollow empty soul,
As through a trunk, or whispâring hole,
Such language as no mortal ear
But spiritâal eaves-droppers can hear:
So PhĆbus, or some friendly muse,
Into small poetsâ song infuse,
Which they at second-hand rehearse,
Throâ reed or bag-pipe, verse for verse.
Thus Ralph became infallible
As three or four-leggâd oracle,35
The ancient cup, or modern chair;
Spoke truth point-blank, thoâ unaware.
For mystick learning, wondrous able
In magick Talisman and Cabal,36
Whose primitive tradition reaches
As far as Adamâs first green breeches:37
Deep sighted in intelligences,
Ideas, atoms, influences;
And much of terra incognita,
Thâ intelligible world, could say:38
A deep occult Philosopher,
As learnâd as the wild Irish are,39
Or Sir Agrippa; for profound40
And solid lying much renownâd.
He Anthroposophus, and Floud,
And Jacob Behmen understood:41
Knew many an amulet and charm,
That would do neither good nor harm:
In Rosy-crucian lore as learned,
As he that Vere adeptus earned.42
He understood the speech of birds
As well as they themselves do words;
Couâd tell what subtlest parrots mean,
That speak, and think contrary clean:
What member âtis of whom they talk,
When they cry Rope, and Walk, knave, walk.
Heâd extract numbers out of matter,
And keep them in a glass, like water;
Of sovâreign powâr to make men wise;
For dropâd in blear thick-sighted eyes,
Theyâd make them see in darkest night,
Like owls, thoâ purblind in the light.
By help of these (as he professâd)
He had First Matter seen undressâd:
He took her naked all alone,
Before one rag of form was on.
The Chaos too he had descryâd,
And seen quite throâ, or else he lyâd:
Not that of paste-board which men shew
For groats, at fair of Bartholâmew;
But its great grandsire, first oâ the name,
Whence that and Reformation came;
Both cousin-germans, and right able
Tâ inveigle and draw in the rabble.
But Reformation was, some say,
Oâ thâ younger house to Puppet-play.
He could foretel whatsâever was
By consequence to come to pass;
As death of great men, alterations,
Diseases, battles, inundations,
All this, without thâ eclipse oâ thâ sun,
Or dreadful comet, he hath done,
By inward light; away as good,
And easy to be understood;
But with more lucky hit than those
That use to make the stars depose,
Like knights oâ thâ post, and falsely charge
Upon themselves what others forge:
As if they were consenting to
All mischiefs in the world men do:
Or, like the Devil, did tempt and sway âem
To rogueries, and then betray âem.
Theyâll search a planetâs house, to know
Who broke and robbâd a house below:
Examine Venus, and the Moon,
Who stole a thimble or a spoon;
And thoâ they nothing will confess,
Yet by their very looks can guess,
And tell what guilty aspect bodes,
Who stole, and who receivâd the goods.
Theyâll question Mars, and by his look,
Detect who
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