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the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, I cried until the sound of my sobbing drowned out the music from downstairs and my eyelids were too heavy to stay open.

Chapter 3

By the time I woke up again, I had been mostly sober for at least forty eight hours. The shakes and muscles aches I was feeling were intense. I was detoxing, even in my state I knew that shit was dangerous. I took a quick swig of the shit I had there and got up to go back outside. I walked down the stairs and it looked like Devin was setting up for the night. I had slept through a full fucking day. I turned toward the door but the simple motion of swinging my head was enough to get me dizzy as hell. I grabbed my stomach and was slightly surprised to feel that instead of the abs that I had all of my life, my gut was sunken. I was starving. I turned back to the bar walking with purpose. Devin must have seen me coming because he stopped what he was doing and I watched his hand move down below eyesight. He was reaching for a gun.

I made it to the bar and stared at him for a second. He didn’t flinch. I smirked as I reached toward him and could see his muscles tense slightly, he wasn’t going to get caught flat footed by me again. I was sure he would shoot me if he had to.

I dropped my hand down on the sandwich he had sitting on the bar. There was already a bite taken out of it, I couldn’t care less. I took a huge bite, chewed twice before swallowing the grotesque combination down whole.

I looked pointedly at his hand below the bar, “Smart man.”

Devin raised his hand above the bar, and had the nerve to look a little embarrassed, “Shit, my bad man.”

“Fuck that, I would have done the same. I’m going to go get your rent. Thanks for the sandwich.” I turned to walk away but I had to ask before I left, “What the fuck is this shit anyway.”

“Spam, cheese and mayo, what the fuck were you expecting, caviar?”

I cringed as I turned back to the door.

I needed to pay this man so he could get some real food.

I made my way to the storage container I had at the pier. No one knew it was there and no one I knew had one here. I opened the heavy door and looked at all the possessions I had left in this world. A stash of paintings, one I was sure was an original Picasso but never actually got it appraised. Bags of jewelry, most of it I had for Laura but a few were there for a kid that I never would have. I had always imagined Laura waddling down the stairs with a big belly, my seed growing big and strong in her womb. I shook my head, the pain was becoming unbearable again. I would never have that dream, she would never give me a child, I would never see her coming down the stairs with my baby in her belly. Never.

“Motherfucker!” I slammed my hand against the tin wall, the loud bang echoing around the long container.

I looked over to where I left my baby, my bike, an old Harley. Almost all her parts had been repaired so many times I doubted there was anything straight from the factory remaining. I rode her hard and I used to ride her often. I walked over to where she sat and dug into the saddle bag attached to the side. I pulled out a bank bound stack of bills, it was my last ten thousand dollars. I had made millions of dollars during my time as a Wing, now I was down to my last couple of thousand and if I kept up with my drug habit that would be gone before I knew it.

I could sell the jewelry but for some reason the fact that they were meant for Laura kept me from doing it. I could sell the bike, it wasn’t like I would ever ride it again. I wasn’t a member of the Wings of Diablo anymore. I had abandoned them. I had disrespected my kutte and left my brothers to die.

I sighed and turned to leave the storage container, I guess when the time came I knew what the first thing to go would be. I would miss it but I didn’t deserve it.

I walked down the dark back street and as usual there was no one around. If I didn’t know that the storage area was back there I would swear this was a dead end. I jumped over the fence and I nearly jumped out of my skin when a small child screamed. The ball that she was obviously trying to get left abandoned as she took off screaming and running towards two women.

“Hey, wait a minute.” I don’t know what they thought I was trying to do but even in the dark at the wrong end of the alley I could see the fear that was in their large eyes.

I watched as the woman in the middle picked up the screaming girl and turned to run away. The last thing I needed was for one of them to alert the cops that there was some sicko trying to abduct little girls or some weird shit like that. I had to clear this up.

I started in on a quick jog. “Hey, don’t run, I’m not trying to do anything.”

I turned the corner and saw the trio of them turn and my breath flew out of my mouth. A strange burning sensation spread from one point in my abdomen and in a wave like formation radiated around my body. For some reason my brain could not understand why my body was feeling the way it was and

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