Sister Carrie Theodore Dreiser (e reader books TXT) 📖

her voice after the conventional manner of the distressed heroine, and repeat such pathetic fragments as appealed most to her sympathies. Of late, seeing the airy grace of the ingénue in several well-constructed plays, she had been moved to secretly imitate it, and many were the little movements and expressions of the body in which she indulged from time to time in the privacy of her chamber. On several occasions, when Drouet had caught her admiring herself, as he imagined, in the mirror, she was doing nothing more than recalling some little grace of the mouth or the eyes which she had witnessed in another. Under his airy accusation she mistook this for vanity and accepted the blame with a faint sense of error, though, as a matter of fact, it was nothing more than the first subtle outcroppings of an artistic nature, endeavouring to recreate the perfect likeness of some phase of beauty which appealed to her. In such feeble tendencies, be it known, such outworking of desire to reproduce life, lies the basis of all dramatic art.

Now, when Carrie heard Drouet’s laudatory opinion of her dramatic ability, her body tingled with satisfaction. Like the flame which welds the loosened particles into a solid mass, his words united those floating wisps of feeling which she had felt, but never believed, concerning her possible ability, and made them into a gaudy shred of hope. Like all human beings, she had a touch of vanity. She felt that she could do things if she only had a chance. How often had she looked at the well-dressed actresses on the stage and wondered how she would look, how delightful she would feel if only she were in their place. The glamour, the tense situation, the fine clothes, the applause, these had lured her until she felt that she, too, could act⁠—that she, too, could compel acknowledgment of power. Now she was told that she really could⁠—that little things she had done about the house had made even him feel her power. It was a delightful sensation while it lasted.

When Drouet was gone, she sat down in her rocking-chair by the window to think about it. As usual, imagination exaggerated the possibilities for her. It was as if he had put fifty cents in her hand and she had exercised the thoughts of a thousand dollars. She saw herself in a score of pathetic situations in which she assumed a tremulous voice and suffering manner. Her mind delighted itself with scenes of luxury and refinement, situations in which she was the cynosure of all eyes, the arbiter of all fates. As she rocked to and fro she felt the tensity of woe in abandonment, the magnificence of wrath after deception, the languour of sorrow after defeat. Thoughts of all the charming women she had seen in plays⁠—every fancy, every illusion which she had concerning the stage⁠—now came back as a returning tide after the ebb. She built up feelings and a determination which the occasion did not warrant.

Drouet dropped in at the lodge when he went downtown, and swashed around with a great air, as Quincel met him.

“Where is that young lady you were going to get for us?” asked the latter.

“I’ve got her,” said Drouet.

“Have you?” said Quincel, rather surprised by his promptness; “that’s good. What’s her address?” and he pulled out his notebook in order to be able to send her part to her.

“You want to send her her part?” asked the drummer.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ll take it. I’m going right by her house in the morning.”

“What did you say her address was? We only want it in case we have any information to send her.”

“Twenty-nine Ogden Place.”

“And her name?”

“Carrie Madenda,” said the drummer, firing at random. The lodge members knew him to be single.

“That sounds like somebody that can act, doesn’t it?” said Quincel.

“Yes, it does.”

He took the part home to Carrie and handed it to her with the manner of one who does a favour.

“He says that’s the best part. Do you think you can do it?”

“I don’t know until I look it over. You know I’m afraid, now that I’ve said I would.”

“Oh, go on. What have you got to be afraid of? It’s a cheap company. The rest of them aren’t as good as you are.”

“Well, I’ll see,” said Carrie, pleased to have the part, for all her misgivings.

He sidled around, dressing and fidgeting before he arranged to make his next remark.

“They were getting ready to print the programmes,” he said, “and I gave them the name of Carrie Madenda. Was that all right?”

“Yes, I guess so,” said his companion, looking up at him. She was thinking it was slightly strange.

“If you didn’t make a hit, you know,” he went on.

“Oh, yes,” she answered, rather pleased now with his caution. It was clever for Drouet.

“I didn’t want to introduce you as my wife, because you’d feel worse then if you didn’t go. They all know me so well. But you’ll go all right. Anyhow, you’ll probably never meet any of them again.”

“Oh, I don’t care,” said Carrie desperately. She was determined now to have a try at the fascinating game.

Drouet breathed a sigh of relief. He had been afraid that he was about to precipitate another conversation upon the marriage question.

The part of Laura, as Carrie found out when she began to examine it, was one of suffering and tears. As delineated by Mr. Daly, it was true to the most sacred traditions of melodrama as he found it when he began his career. The sorrowful demeanour, the tremolo music, the long, explanatory, cumulative addresses, all were there.

“Poor fellow,” read Carrie, consulting the text and drawing her voice out pathetically. “Martin, be sure and give him a glass of wine before he goes.”

She was surprised at the briefness of the entire part, not knowing that she must be on the stage while others were talking, and not only be there, but also keep herself in harmony with the dramatic movement