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Harry. A sharp knife to replace the dull one I left in the forest. Tiny, perfectly carved bowls and boxes to keep my herbs and flowers organized.

People are beginning to talk, taking bets on what he’ll leave me next. More than one warrior has suggested I “put him out of his misery,” and a few of the new women have suggested that if I don’t want him, they’ll take him instead.

They stopped suggesting that when I casually mentioned just how proficient I am with poisons.

I wouldn’t really poison them, of course. But word got out I’m teetering on the edge of insanity, and most of the women began minding their own business after that.

Not my friends though. No, they’re taking their own bets on the situation and giving me unwanted advice from all directions.

Nevada told me to make him crawl. Ellie advised me to beg his forgiveness. Beth suggested I talk it out at least, and Ivy said if she has to hear any more about it, she’ll do something that would make the evening news on Earth.

Tagiz has also made it clear any male who walks with me into the forest will be meeting him in the training arena.

I allow him to walk with me. Each day, he asks if I will speak to him.

Each day, I tell him no.

It kills me to do this to him. To do this to us. But I lost myself for a while, and now I’m finding myself again.

Since I landed on Agron, I’ve been a victim, a patient, a healer, a murderer, and now, I guess, a toxicologist.

And this whole time, I’ve been so in love with Tagiz I could barely see straight. It’s not that I enjoy seeing Tagiz beg for my attention; it’s that I’m trying to figure out who I am—both with and without him.

But staying away from him is killing me, and Moni’s words play over and over again in my head.

“Will you deprive yourself of love because it wasn’t handed to you the way you wanted it? Because when you found it, it wasn’t perfect? Will you spend your life wishing you had tried a little more, fought a little harder?”

I know better than most people just how short life is. I came so close to death that sometimes I still wake up and almost cry when it no longer hurts to take a full breath.

Mom wouldn’t want me to miss out on love because I was afraid. She would never want me to be second best, sure, but at her heart, she was someone who believed fiercely in love.

Wherever she is, I’m sure she’s urging me to conquer my fear and grab love with both hands.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

Chapter Nineteen

Zoey

Surprisingly, it’s Malis I go to for help putting my plan into motion. She throws her arms around me, talking a mile a minute, and we end up chatting for hours, as if we’ve been friends for years.

“I’m so happy you’re doing this, Zoey. I know it’s difficult after everything that’s happened, but I’ve never seen anyone love someone the way Tagiz loves you.”

I blink back tears at that, and she smiles at me. “It’s hard, isn’t it? Being brave enough to take the leap. But as someone who finally jumped…it’s worth it. And I promise, Tagiz will be there to catch you.”

Tagiz isn’t in the training arena when I go looking for him. I finally find him in the healers’ kradi, where Moni is changing the bandage on his hand, and my heart flips in my chest at the reminder of the flowers he brought me.

“How’s it looking?” I ask as I approach, and Tagiz’s free hand whips out, pulling me close. I allow it, and he looks surprised, although the surprise quickly changes to pure male satisfaction as my breasts are suddenly at his eye level.

“No permanent damage,” Moni says. “Three more days of the bandage and then it can come off. And maybe this warrior will learn not to pick poisonous flowers, hmm?”

Tagiz grins at me. “It was worth it.”

Butterflies are swarming in my stomach, and I blow out a breath. “Can I talk to you?”

His grin drops, and his gaze searches my face. I hate that I’ve put that uncertainty in his eyes.

He nods, dropping my hand and getting to his feet. From the set of his shoulders, I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m going to ask him to leave me alone.

“Take me to the stream?”

He tenses further, and I sigh. I bet he doesn’t want to ruin his favorite place with the memory of me telling him it’s over.

“Please?”

He nods, but he won’t meet my eyes as he leads me toward the stream. I ignore the whispers and gazes on us as we walk through camp, and then I’m wiping my sweaty hands on my dress as the water rushes past in front of us.

“Tagiz—”

“I know what you’re going to say, Zoey, and I understand. You deserve better than the way I treated you. Rakiz has offered me a position as envoy to some of the other tribes who fought with us in the last battle. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Wait. What?

Panic bubbles in my chest. I’m such an idiot. I waited too long, and now I’ve lost him.

“Tagiz—”

“It’s okay, little healer. I only wish I had not taken so long to see what was in front of my face. You are the most incredible female I have ever known, and I will wait for you…even if you never choose me, I will be waiting.”

I blink at that.

“Tagiz—”

“I will leave—”

“Tagiz!”

I cut him off, and he frowns at me. I hoped to do this in a much more romantic way, but the idea of him leaving…

No.

I thrust my hand into my pocket and pull out the gold mating bands. Malis helped me make them, and it seemed oddly fitting she would contribute to the design.

Tagiz stares at me, and I swallow around the lump in my throat.

“Do you still

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