Just North of Whoville Turiskylie, Joyce (smart books to read .TXT) 📖

be. They’re on our asses now and looking at everything. I might be unemployed in January. Or worse. But I’ll take care of things. And, by the way, I HAD an apartment. What do you think this was for?”

“You know Alex,” I tried to reason with his particular brain, “have you ever thought that maybe Tanya is the one for you? She seems…nice.”

“Nice? She’s a bitch from hell. Sometimes, when I’m asleep, she’ll get up in the middle of the night and I’m terrified she’s going to come back and cut my dick off.”

“And yet---you’re sleeping with her?”

“I know. But the sex is amazing.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Shit, it’s Tanya,” Alex said as he began scrambling around for a place to hide. What he was hiding from, I had no idea. Whatever it was, I’d had enough and opened the door.

It was Nate.

“Dorrie?” he said as he looked at my pajamas.

“Hey, Nate,” Alex waved as he stood there in his Hef-wear.

“I uh…” Nate seemed confused. “I just wanted to stop by to let you know that they’ll be doing some major work on the roof the next few days. Might get a little messy in here. I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I tried to explain.

“I just…I don’t understand why you keep going back to… But you know, not my business. I hope you’ll be very happy, Dorrie.”

On the way to work that morning, I saw the harbinger of doom.

Shoeless Joe.

“Merry Christmas everyone. Can anybody help? God bless you everyone.”

Who did he think he was? Tiny Tim?

But at the office, another Tiny Tim was waiting in Jamie’s office.

“We need you to close the deal,” Jamie explained. Deb picked up from there

“The Character Model Class is three thousand dollars. He wants to do it, but wanted to talk to you first. Apparently you’re his agent now,” Deb said with a bit of a huff.

“When did we get a character model class?” I asked.

“We’ll throw something together for January. A five-week class, give them a few digital photos and everyone is happy.”

“Who’s teaching it?”

“I am,” Deb stepped up. “After all, I used to be a Plus-Size model.”

While I didn’t doubt she was indeed plus-sized, I still hadn’t seen that portfolio.

“But where is he getting the money?”

“Dorrie, he’s got the money. And I’ll give you a five hundred commission. He trusts you,” she put her arm around me and opened her office door.

“Hi, Dorrie!” Timmy sat there in his elf suit. “Deb was telling me about the Character Model Class. It sounds perfect. What do you think?”

I could really use five hundred dollars, but as I looked into his big, hopeful eyes, I knew what I had to do.

“Timmy, if you’re really serious about modeling, this is the direction you need to take. But you don’t need a three thousand-dollar class. It’s a waste of your money. Don’t do it!” I yelled out quickly as Jamie pulled me out of the room.

“I’m sorry, Dorrie. I don’t think we’ll be needing your services anymore.”

I walked to my reception desk to retrieve my things. Didn’t take long. I kept most of my personal effects in a Go Bag under my desk. I knew the shit would hit the fan at some point---I just always thought the authorities would shut the place down before I got fired from a crappy, minimum wage job.

But I didn’t have much time to brood over my unemployed state. It was Opening Night.

Luckily, Steve was blessed with an enormous amount of friends who actually showed up for his performances. Particularly on Opening Night. Not necessarily to see theatre; mostly just knowing that with Steve involved, there would be a great after-bar somewhere down the street.

I had sent emails out to everyone I knew in New York. With five minutes to curtain, I peeked out from backstage, scanning the audience for a familiar face. Any familiar face. But not one.

“Where’s Nate?” Steve asked before the curtain went up.

“I don’t know. Did he call you?”

“Not a peep. That’s weird.”

With all the calamities surrounding my life, I was actually shocked that the play went off without a hitch. Steve and Marc had totally connected during the rehearsals, and were able to pull-off Nate’s powerful, yet idiosyncratic script. I lost myself in the audience’s reactions to Nate’s clever twists and turns on the well-known tale. He’d managed to take them on such a wild ride, that the familiar happy ending was actually a tender relief.

“Dorrie, sweetie!” Celia suddenly appeared with a bouquet of flowers. She was her usual, glowing self. Her black designer pants and Irish hand-knit sweater made her look like she just stepped off the slopes at Aspen. “That was so wonderful! Just what I needed this Christmas.”

“I’ve been trying to call you…” I began.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just needed a little space. And I’m sorry you got saddled with a roommate. Did he tell you?” she said as she displayed her engagement ring. “I sent it back in the boxes. He said he saw it and realized that we were really over and… I don’t know. Maybe the timing was right, but he called me and I actually picked up the phone. We had coffee…” she trailed off and then ended with. “It’s all good now.”

“Don’t feel like you have to rush. I mean…it’s none of my business.”

“Look, I know what you’re thinking. But I’ve invested four years of my life in this relationship. It’s hard to just throw those years away. I think it’s hard for him, too. I don’t know,” she kept repeating.

“If you don’t know, then maybe he’s not the right one.”

“Life is not a fairy tale, Dorrie. There’s no Prince riding in