The Heretic Wind: The Life of Mary Tudor, Queen of England Judith Arnopp (best books to read in your 20s .txt) 📖

your father,I did my duty as queen and as his wife, but now … Mary, I have been wed threetimes and never once where my heart dictated. This time, I want to make my ownchoice. It is my last chance at happiness.”

“And you thinkthe admiral will make you happy?”

I had notmeant to sound so doubtful but my reservations are loud in my voice. She looksdown and begins to pull at her kerchief, shredding the fine lace edging.

“I can onlyhope he will.”

“Do you expectthe council will permit it?”

She is silentfor so long that I speak again. “Oh Katherine, surely you don’t intend to wedwithout the permission of the king?”

She lets out asound, halfway between a sob and a sigh.

“Thomas sayswe must. He says they won’t allow it because I am the dowager. They will insistwe wait to be sure I am not carrying the late king’s child … but I know I amnot. It is not possible. If we wait, I will lose him again … I know it! Do – dowe have your blessing?”

Silence fallslike a portcullis. She sits like a lamb awaiting slaughter while I mull overwhat she has told me. If I give my support, it will go ill with the councilwhen they discover it; if I refuse it, I will lose a valued friend, mysubstitute mother. I shift uneasily in my seat.

“Katherine.Privately you have my blessing but I cannot openly support such a match. Andneed I remind you, you’ve just been warning me to tread carefully yet … hereyou are about to commit social suicide.”

Her tears areflowing freely now; they trickle down her cheek and drip from her chin. Sheputs her hands over her face and I notice that her women have fallen silent andare watching us, their sewing abandoned in their laps. I shift in my seat so myback is turned toward them, blocking the dowager from their view.

“Oh Mary, Ihave no choice!” Her hands drop, she covers her stomach and my mouth falls openas shock drenches me.

“You are withchild?” I hiss, leaning forward so her women cannot overhear. She puts up ahand.

“Oh no, no, Iam not. I swear it, but … perhaps … soon.”

I have neverbeen so disappointed in anyone in my life. She is the dowager queen of England,a woman of integrity and grace, a woman of intelligence, yet she cannot governher own conduct. She has allowed lust to obliterate her common sense. Sheshould have known better. She should have waited. Why does love drive out allsensible thought? I suspect I will never discover the answer to that.

I stand up,smoothing my skirts. She grabs my hand.

“Mary, please,do not deny me your friendship.”

I look uponher lowered head and speak quietly.

“I will neverdo that, Katherine, but you must see that I need to distance myself from this.If the council were to suspect that I knew of or condoned your actions, I wouldrisk my own security. Believe me, I wish you well, you and your admiral. I hopeall goes well with you.”

I fear it won’t.The admiral is a rogue, a flirt and a villain who once even approached me withthe idea of marriage, but Katherine shall not learn of that from my lips. Shortlyafterwards, with a sense of impending doom, I leave her company, obliterate allthoughts of court intrigue from my mind, and travel to East Anglia to inspectmy new properties.

Kenninghall – Summer 1548

“Oh, my lady, you shall enjoy beingin residence here!” Susan leans from the window and looks out across thegardens.

“Yes, it ismost pleasing.” I look around at the refurbished apartment, the new tapestriesand cushions. My women are busily delving into chests, arranging the chairs tomake the most of the light from the tall windows.

I think ofNorfolk living here. While he worked against me and dreamed of smashing my headagainst a wall, these were the ramparts that sheltered him. The man is a monster.I am glad he is in the Tower – I hope he rots there. As I live and laugh in hishouse, I shall think of his present suffering often.

I have noplans to attend court. Already they are making changes in the realm that I cannever agree with. I know I would be unable to govern my rage were I to witnessat first hand the heresies that they are allowing to creep into England. No, Ishall remain here, away from it all and, as long as they leave me to my owndevices, all will be well.

After a walkin the grounds, I sit down to write to Katherine. I extol the virtues of my newhouse, exchange some light gossip about women of mutual acquaintance, but I donot acknowledge her marriage, or her husband’s ambition to get closer to thethrone. Somerset will keep his brother as far from the king as possible, I haveno doubt of that. From her last letter, Katherine is happy in her new state.Elizabeth has been joined at Chelsea by our cousin Jane; the cleverest pair of girlsever to enter the schoolroom.

My sister hasalways been bright – precocious some might say, and Jane is similarly giftedbut unfortunately she is a strong advocate for the new religion. Elizabeth willbe targeted both by Jane and the dowager queen. Katherine will encourage themboth. It is a pity. It would be far better to concentrate such minds upon truthand tradition.

The pair ofthem dress as plainly as paupers and keep their noses so deep into their booksthat they become like moles; short of both sight and insight. But it is nomatter to me what they think or how they worship, so I do not chide them.

From time totime, I get a long erudite letter from my sister with a gift she has sewn or apassage she has translated. Her letters are dutiful rather than affectionateand it is impossible to detect in the words any semblance of the child I oncedoted on.

At first, allseems well. But even though I am far from court in the depths of the Norfolk countryside,rumours reach me of events taking place there. The protector is allowingchanges that violate the six articles laid down