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let Olivia be okay, please let Olivia be okay.

“Hi Hannah. Do you know where Olivia is? I was trying to check on her and she isn’t answering her phone. She said she was at your house tonight.”

What?

“Um, no. She’s not here Mr. Beck.” I say tentatively, tendrils of worry sneaking up my spine and settling in my gut with a heavy weight.

“What do you mean, she’s not there? Olivia told me that she was spending the night at your house.” My heart stops.

“Um. I don’t know. We haven’t really talked since YIGP. She never said anything to me about tonight. Are you sure she isn’t out with Tyler?” I mean, that’s the logical place for her to be on a Saturday night.

“Hannah,” my mom interrupts. “If you know anything you need to tell us. Please.” My mom’s voice quivers, an answering quivering begins in my own voice.

“I really don’t know, I swear Mom.” My voice cracks on the last word. “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t know where she is.” I can’t control the tears that spill over. My mom plucks her phone out of my hand.

“Sorry, Dan. I’ll see if Hannah can help us find her. You should call the Stanleys. Do you need…” her words trail off as she walks away.

I sit on my bed, numbness battling with anger and worry. Is she okay? Where is she? Is Olivia with Tyler? What are they doing? Questions fly through my brain faster and faster, my brain already thinking of the next question before I’ve even had a chance to think of an answer.

I quickly send a text to Olivia.

Me: Hey, your dad just called looking for you. Where are you?

I start scrolling through Instagram looking to see if I can figure out where Olivia is while I wait for a reply. There’s nothing posted on Olivia’s account, no surprise there. She’s not dumb enough to post something showing she’s not at my house. I click over to Tyler’s account but I already know there’s nothing there. I start looking through the accounts of other people at school. It’s the only thing I can think of that might be helpful.

Where are they and what could they be doing? Why do they have to lie about where they are? I’m imagining cheap motel rooms and crazy parties, getting more and more worried by the minute.

I consider messaging Trevor again, if only to have someone distract me from my worry.

I’m about to message him when a Facetime call interrupts me.

“Hey Lisa,” I answer.

“Oh my god! Did you see what Olivia is doing?” Lisa practically yells through the screen.

“Where is she? Everyone is looking for her.” I’m practically hyperventilating. “Her dad called here looking for her, but obviously I have no idea where she is. She told her dad she was going to be here, so now no one knows where she is.” I finally have to stop and take a breath.

“Go look at Jack’s instagram.” Lisa says cryptically. “Look at his latest post and tell me that’s not Olivia in the background.” Lisa clarifies.

I quickly pull up Jack’s account and look at his latest post. It’s a photo of basically the entire varsity football team, Jack and Tyler right in the center. They’re standing on the beach, no, wait, that’s not just any beach. They must be in LA because that’s the Santa Monica Pier in the background. The sun is setting and there are a bunch of girls hanging around them, wrapped up in sweatshirts and sweaters.

I scan the picture, looking for whatever has Lisa so worked up and then I spot it. Almost hidden behind the group of guys, I see Olivia. She’s wearing a too-large letterman’s jacket, it must be Tyler’s, over a bikini top and jeans, her long blonde hair hiding her face. The thing that obviously has Lisa worked up is the brown glass bottle she’s taking a sip from.

“Oh my god,” I breathe. “No…Lisa how did you find this?” I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach, I can’t believe this. “I have to go, I have to go tell Mr. Beck. Wait, how did you find that picture?” I ask.

“Just scrolling.” Lisa doesn’t sound concerned and I’m over here freaking out. “Hey, this is not your fault.” Lisa’s voice breaks through my fuzzy thoughts.

“Hannah, her bad decisions are not your fault. Okay?” Lisa reminds me. Yeah, okay. I can remember that. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I hang up and run down the stairs to show my mom what Lisa found. I pace the living room as she calls Mr. Beck to let him know. After a minute, my mom pulls me to sit down on the couch next to her, arm around my shoulder.

“Hannah, are you sure you don’t know anything else?” she asks gently. “You’re not in trouble, but if you know anything else you need to let us know.”

“I swear Mom, I don’t know anything else,” I rub my hands over my arms, nervous and worried. “Olivia and I got into a huge fight at YIGP, we really haven’t spoken since.”

“I thought something must have happened, you’ve been pretty quiet ever since last weekend.” Her phone buzzes and she glances at the screen for a moment, reading. “Her phone is going straight to voicemail. You don’t have Tyler’s number do you? Or Jack’s?”

“I have Tyler’s,” I say in a quiet voice. “I don’t have Jack’s, but I can get it from Katy.”

“That’s okay sweetie, I can get Jack’s from Nancy. Can you send me Tyler’s please? And then you can go back to bed, there’s nothing else for us to do. Dan and Martha will let me know if they need any more help.” I send Tyler’s number to my mom but I don’t get off the couch.

“Mom?” My stomach feels like lead. “Are you going to be mad at me if Olivia and I aren’t friends anymore?”

“What? Of course not, sweetie!” my mom grabs me

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