The Gambler Fyodor Dostoevsky (i love reading books .txt) đ
- Author: Fyodor Dostoevsky
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I departed, and found myself smiling at the Englishmanâs strange assurance that I should soon be leaving for Paris. âI suppose he means to shoot me in a duel, should Polina die. Yes, that is what he intends to do.â Now, although I was honestly sorry for Polina, it is a fact that, from the moment when, the previous night, I had approached the gaming-table, and begun to rake in the packets of banknotes, my love for her had entered upon a new plane. Yes, I can say that now; although, at the time, I was barely conscious of it. Was I, then, at heart a gambler? Did I, after all, love Polina not so very much? No, no! As God is my witness, I loved her! Even when I was returning home from Mr. Astleyâs my suffering was genuine, and my self-reproach sincere. But presently I was to go through an exceedingly strange and ugly experience.
I was proceeding to the Generalâs rooms when I heard a door near me open, and a voice call me by name. It was Mlle.âs mother, the Widow de Cominges who was inviting me, in her daughterâs name, to enter.
I did so; whereupon, I heard a laugh and a little cry proceed from the bedroom (the pair occupied a suite of two apartments), where Mlle. Blanche was just arising.
âAh, câest lui! Viens, donc, bĂȘte! Is it true that you have won a mountain of gold and silver? Jâaimerais mieux lâor.â
âYes,â I replied with a smile.
âHow much?â
âA hundred thousand florins.â
âBibi, comme tu es bĂȘte! Come in here, for I canât hear you where you are now. Nous ferons bombance, nâest-ce pas?â
Entering her room, I found her lolling under a pink satin coverlet, and revealing a pair of swarthy, wonderfully healthy shouldersâ âshoulders such as one sees in dreamsâ âshoulders covered over with a white cambric nightgown which, trimmed with lace, stood out, in striking relief, against the darkness of her skin.
âMon fils, as-tu du cĆur?â she cried when she saw me, and then giggled. Her laugh had always been a very cheerful one, and at times it even sounded sincere.
âTout autreâ ââ I began, paraphrasing Corneille.
âSee here,â she prattled on. âPlease search for my stockings, and help me to dress. Aussi, si tu nâes pas trop bĂȘte je te prends Ă Paris. I am just off, let me tell you.â
âThis moment?â
âIn half an hour.â
True enough, everything stood ready-packedâ âtrunks, portmanteaux, and all. Coffee had long been served.
âEh bien, tu verras Paris. Dis donc, quâest-ce que câest quâun âutchitelâ? Tu Ă©tais bien bĂȘte quand tu Ă©tais âutchitel.â Where are my stockings? Please help me to dress.â
And she lifted up a really ravishing footâ âsmall, swarthy, and not misshapen like the majority of feet which look dainty only in bottines. I laughed, and started to draw on to the foot a silk stocking, while Mlle. Blanche sat on the edge of the bed and chattered.
âEh bien, que feras-tu si je te prends avec moi? First of all I must have fifty thousand francs, and you shall give them to me at Frankfurt. Then we will go on to Paris, where we will live together, et je te ferai voir des Ă©toiles en plein jour. Yes, you shall see such women as your eyes have never lit upon.â
âStop a moment. If I were to give you those fifty thousand francs, what should I have left for myself?â
âAnother hundred thousand francs, please to remember. Besides, I could live with you in your rooms for a month, or even for two; or even for longer. But it would not take us more than two months to get through fifty thousand francs; for, look you, je suis bonne enfante, et tu verras des Ă©toiles, you may be sure.â
âWhat? You mean to say that we should spend the whole in two months?â
âCertainly. Does that surprise you very much? Ah, vil esclave! Why, one month of that life would be better than all your previous existence. One monthâ âet aprĂšs, le dĂ©luge! Mais tu ne peux comprendre. Va! Away, away! You are not worth it.â âAh, que fais-tu?â
For, while drawing on the other stocking, I had felt constrained to kiss her. Immediately she shrunk back, kicked me in the face with her toes, and turned me neck and crop out of the room.
âEh bien, mon âutchitel,âââ she called after me, âje tâattends, si tu veux. I start in a quarter of an hourâs time.â
I returned to my own room with my head in a whirl. It was not my fault that Polina had thrown a packet in my face, and preferred Mr. Astley to myself. A few banknotes were still fluttering about the floor, and I picked them up. At that moment the door opened, and the landlord appearedâ âa person who, until now, had never bestowed upon me so much as a glance. He had come to know if I would prefer to move to a lower floorâ âto a suite which had just been tenanted by Count V.
For a moment I reflected.
âNo!â I shouted. âMy account, please, for in ten minutes I shall be gone.â
âTo Paris, to Paris!â I added to myself. âEvery man of birth must make her acquaintance.â
Within a quarter of an hour all three of us were seated in a family compartmentâ âMlle. Blanche, the Widow de Cominges, and myself. Mlle. kept laughing hysterically as she looked at me, and Madame reechoed her; but I did not feel so cheerful. My life had broken in two, and yesterday had infected me with a habit of staking my all upon a card. Although it might be that I had failed to win my
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