Piccadilly Jim P. G. Wodehouse (great book club books .TXT) 📖

Mrs. Pett, on leaving the luncheon-table, had returned to the drawing-room to sit beside the sick-settee of her stricken child. She was troubled about Ogden. The poor lamb was not at all himself today. A bowl of clear soup, the midday meal prescribed by Doctor Briginshaw, lay untasted at his side.

She crossed the room softly, and placed a cool hand on her son’s aching brow.

“Oh, Gee,” said Ogden wearily.

“Are you feeling a little better, Oggie darling?”

“No,” said Ogden firmly. “I’m feeling a lot worse.”

“You haven’t drunk your nice soup.”

“Feed it to the cat.”

“Could you eat a nice bowl of bread-and-milk, precious?”

“Have a heart,” replied the sufferer.

Mrs. Pett returned to her seat, sorrowfully. It struck her as an odd coincidence that the poor child was nearly always like this on the morning after she had been entertaining guests; she put it down to the reaction from the excitement working on a highly-strung temperament. To his present collapse the brutal behaviour of Jerry Mitchell had, of course, contributed. Every drop of her maternal blood boiled with rage and horror whenever she permitted herself to contemplate the excesses of the late Jerry. She had always mistrusted the man. She had never liked his face⁠—not merely on aesthetic grounds but because she had seemed to detect in it a lurking savagery. How right events had proved this instinctive feeling. Mrs. Pett was not vulgar enough to describe the feeling, even to herself, as a hunch, but a hunch it had been; and, like everyone whose hunches have proved correct, she was conscious in the midst of her grief of a certain complacency. It seemed to her that hers must be an intelligence and insight above the ordinary.

The peace of the early afternoon settled upon the drawing-room. Mrs. Pett had taken up a book; Ogden, on the settee, breathed stentorously. Faint snores proceeded from the basket in the corner where Aida, the Pomeranian, lay curled in refreshing sleep. Through the open window floated sounds of warmth and Summer.

Yielding to the drowsy calm, Mrs. Pett was just nodding into a pleasant nap, when the door opened and Lord Wisbeach came in.

Lord Wisbeach had been doing some rapid thinking. Rapid thought is one of the essentials in the composition of men who are known as Gentleman Jack to the boys and whose livelihood is won only by a series of arduous struggles against the forces of Society and the machinations of Potter and his gang. Condensed into capsule form, his lordship’s meditations during the minutes after he had left Jimmy in the dining-room amounted to the realisation that the best mode of defence is attack. It is your man who knows how to play the bold game on occasion who wins. A duller schemer than Lord Wisbeach might have been content to be inactive after such a conversation as had just taken place between himself and Jimmy. His lordship, giving the matter the concentrated attention of his trained mind, had hit on a better plan, and he had come to the drawing-room now to put it into effect.

His entrance shattered the peaceful atmosphere. Aida, who had been gurgling apoplectically, sprang snarling from the basket, and made for the intruder open-mouthed. Her shrill barking rang through the room.

Lord Wisbeach hated little dogs. He hated and feared them. Many men of action have these idiosyncrasies. He got behind a chair and said “There, there.” Aida, whose outburst was mere sound and fury and who had no intention whatever of coming to blows, continued the demonstration from a safe distance, till Mrs. Pett, swooping down, picked her up and held her in her lap, where she consented to remain, growling subdued defiance. Lord Wisbeach came out from behind his chair and sat down warily.

“Can I have a word with you, Mrs. Pett?”

“Certainly, Lord Wisbeach.”

His lordship looked meaningly at Ogden.

“In private, you know.”

He then looked meaningly at Mrs. Pett.

“Ogden darling,” said Mrs. Pett, “I think you had better go to your room and undress and get into bed. A little nice sleep might do you all the good in the world.”

With surprising docility, the boy rose.

“All right,” he said.

“Poor Oggie is not at all well today,” said Mrs. Pett, when he was gone. “He is very subject to these attacks. What do you want to tell me, Lord Wisbeach?”

His lordship drew his chair a little closer.

“Mrs. Pett, you remember what I told you yesterday?”

“Of course.”

“Might I ask what you know of this man who has come here calling himself Jimmy Crocker?”

Mrs. Pett started. She remembered that she had used almost that very expression to Ann. Her suspicions, which had been lulled by the prompt recognition of the visitor by Skinner and Lord Wisbeach, returned. It is one of the effects of a successful hunch that it breeds other hunches. She had been right about Jerry Mitchell; was she to be proved right about the self-styled Jimmy Crocker?

“You have seen your nephew, I believe?”

“Never. But⁠—”

“That man,” said Lord Wisbeach impassively, “is not your nephew.”

Mrs. Pett thrilled all down her spine. She had been right.

“But you⁠—”

“But I pretended to recognise him? Just so. For a purpose. I wanted to make him think that I suspected nothing.”

“Then you think⁠—?”

“Remember what I said to you yesterday.”

“But Skinner⁠—the butler⁠—recognised him?”

“Exactly. It goes to prove that what I said about Skinner was correct. They are working together. The thing is self-evident. Look at it from your point of view. How simple it is. This man pretends to an intimate acquaintance with Skinner. You take that as evidence of Skinner’s honesty. Skinner recognises this man. You take that as proof that this man is really your nephew. The fact that Skinner recognised as Jimmy Crocker a man who is not Jimmy Crocker condemns him.”

“But why did you⁠—?”

“I told you that I pretended to accept this man as the real Jimmy Crocker for a purpose. At present there is nothing that you can do. Mere impersonation is not a crime. If I had exposed him when