HUM Dan Hawley (good inspirational books txt) 📖

thought that maybe she wouldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to do it right now anyway. It was still all too fresh. And even though Samantha knew that miscarriage wasn’t a rare occurrence, it felt surreal and not something she wanted to talk about—at least not yet.

And it may not even have been a miscarriage, Samantha thought. We won’t know for sure until the tests come back.

Samantha looked up at the tv and wondered why the cooking show was muted. Jason twitched in his sleep. Samantha turned her head to see a look of what seemed like pain flash across his face and disappear. Samantha lay for a moment longer, propped up on her elbow. Jason stirred again. He flinched. Samantha sat up, facing Jason and clutching her arms to her chest. Jason grunted and twitched.

“Mmph.”

The remote control slipped from his hand and landed on the floor with a smash, sending the two batteries from inside flying in separate directions. Samantha could only watch with frightened eyes. “Mm uh,” he muttered, his voice like a pained moan. Sam’s eyes welled with liquid, and her jaw clenched with a squeak of her teeth.

“Muh wah! Muh wah!”

Jason’s voice built to a fever pitch, his eyes closed tight under his sweaty brow.

“Mur dah!”

Samantha didn’t know what else to do, so she pressed her feet against his side and shook him. Gently at first, but then with more and more force until Jason’s eyes flew open and his limp body became rigid and aware. He sat straight up, breathing heavily and clutching his chest. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked over at Sam. She looked like a beaten puppy, making herself as small as possible on the couch. Her face was scrunched, her eyes wide with fear.

“Babe?” Jason asked.

Samantha just continued to stare at him with that look of terror.

“What happened?”

Jason extended his arm towards her. She pulled back slightly at first but relented as she looked into his eyes. Samantha saw her man there, looking just as scared as she was. She bolted towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Oh, Jesus Jay!” she cried as the pools in her eyes finally breached the dam. “You were having a crazy dream, I guess. Convulsing and saying something…I don’t know what, but it was so scary, Jay. Terrifying!”

Jason held her tight as she soaked his shoulder with her tears.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” was all he could muster. “I’m so, so sorry.”

After a while, Samantha and Jason finally peeled themselves apart. They looked at each other with knowing looks.

Jason broke the silence: “We look rough.”

Samantha wiped at her face and nodded. “I’m going to shower. Will you come?”

“Of course.”

They got up and went to the bathroom. Samantha turned on the shower and it whooshed to life. Without any words, the couple disrobed and hopped in under the water that hissed and eventually steamed up the room.

It was a small shower, so they had to take turns soaking, then lathering, then rinsing. The hot water calmed Samantha, and she began to relax. Jason took the pink loofah from her hands and gently soaped her back. He finished, and she turned around.

“I love you,” she said as she looked deep into his dark-blue eyes. Jason’s mouth twitched into a smile as he lifted his hands to cup her face.

“I love you too,” he whispered and kissed her quivering lips. As they kissed, Jason’s phone lit up silently on the counter.

* * *

“Dr. Luu’s office called,” Jason said as they toweled off the remnants of their shower.

“Oh?” Samantha replied.

Jason dialed his voicemail and set it to speakerphone. Dr. Luu’s voice asked Jason if he could make it in the next day. Jason looked at Sam with a worried frown on his face.

“He wants me to come in a day early,” Jason said. “That can’t be good.”

He ended the voicemail and hung his towel on the rack.

“Maybe it’s good news,” Samantha offered. “Maybe he knows what’s going on now and can help. He wants to help quicker than Wednesday.”

“Maybe,” Jason said unconvincingly.

The rest of the night, Jason couldn’t stop running scenarios over in his mind. Why had the doctor called so late? What was so urgent that he wanted to move the appointment up? Jason worried while his mind played different clips of him standing in Dr. Luu’s office, being told horrible, life-changing news. Cancer, a tumor, deep-seated psychological issues that would take a whole team of quacks to shrink his head down to nothing.

Samantha had fallen into a deep sleep almost immediately after her head hit the pillow, completely drained from the intense day. Jason tossed and turned for most of the night, unable to shut his mind off. When sleep finally did come, it was fitful and provided little rest.

CHAPTER 26

The alarm was calling out from inside Jason’s end table. He cursed and pulled open the drawer, grabbed the phone, hit snooze, and rolled over with it still in his hand. He didn’t bother pulling out any of the other things in the drawer to put them back where they were before he went to sleep; he just left the drawer hanging open.

The alarm crowed again, and Jason fought the urge to throw the phone at the wall. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was alone. Samantha was already up and in the other room. With no enthusiasm, Jason got out of bed, pulled on some clothes, and left the bedroom.

Samantha was stretched out on her yoga mat, her face aglow with perspiration.

“Morning,” Jason said as he walked into the kitchen. “Morning,” Sam replied, a little breathlessly.

Jason grabbed a cup of coffee from the pot and added some cream from the fridge. The smell pulled at his senses, sharpening his focus as his brain prepared for caffeine. He watched Sam for a moment, jealous of her energy. He took a sip of the bitter liquid, headed into his office, and closed the door.

Sam looked up when she heard the