Wicked Whoopie Pies Addison Moore (the false prince series TXT) 📖

fingers. “This is one party that doesn’t need a pooper.” She squints over at me. “Speaking of pooper, where’s Little Yippy?”

Lily snorts. “Last I saw, Lottie had her tucked under her shirt.”

Naomi leans her way. “Rumor has it, Lottie always has someone under her shirt.”

The entire table belts out a laugh, including the disembodied among us.

Greer Giles’ long dark hair is sparkling like an onyx river, and she’s still firmly stuffed into the tight white ruched dress she was wearing the night she was gunned down. There’s a scarlet bloom over her chest, and it’s always reminded me a bit of a rose.

“Oh, come on, Lottie.” Greer winks my way. “They’re just having fun with you. Why, they were talking about the two of you before you even got here and had nicer things to say.” She grimaces as if she just caught herself. “Actually, they had nicer things to say about Keelie. Come to think of it, they were pretty consistent when it came to you. Anyway, since Cormack and Charlie invited me here, I thought I’d bring the family along for the outing. Winslow is down in the casino trying his luck at the one-armed bandit, Lea is trying out her new machete in the kitchen, and Thirteen said there are at least a dozen new alley cats that are eager to see him.” She holds her hand to her mouth. “He’s trying to avoid a certain perky little poltergeist.”

“I heard that.” Binky swims over, leaving a trail of miniature pink stars in her wake. “Apparently, Thirteen was scared by my kind, once upon a nine lives. Sprayed—right in the eye. We can be brutal when we have to be.”

“Good to know,” I mutter.

Meg comes out with an entire tray laden down with nachos and lands it on the table. Her hair is spun up over her head like necrotic cotton candy and her eyes are drawn in with lots of black eye shadow to give her that demonic smoky look she’s after.

Keelie lets out a whoop, and before I know it, she’s chowing down on cheesy chips with the rest of them.

“Hey!” Cormack bites the air as she garners everyone’s attention. “Save some for Greer.”

My eyes widen with horror as Naomi nods in agreement.

“And don’t forget Binky, or I’ll wring your necks,” Naomi adds, and suddenly I feel like I want to wring a neck or two.

I speed over to Carlotta. “Where’s that transmundane troublemaker?” I hiss at the mention of my sister. “Her supernatural charade had better come to an end. At the rate she’s going, she’s going to out every transmundane person on the planet.”

She cranes her neck in the direction of the restroom. “She should be out soon. Don’t worry, Lot. I’ll keep a leash on her.” She winks.

“You and I both know Charlie can’t be contained. She’s like a hurricane, a tornado, and wildfire combined.”

Carlotta nods. “You got that right, Toots. Many a night I thought about how I gave away the wrong kid. Here you were making nice in Honey Hollow while she nearly burnt all of Higgins Bottom to the ground.”

“I’m going to assume you’re being literal.”

“Oh, I am, Lot. They didn’t call her a spitfire because of her attitude.”

“Well, don’t waste your time regretting that you kept her. Take comfort in the fact that had you raised me, I would have been twice the hound of hell.”

“You got a point there, Lot. And by the way, you’re doing pretty well at catching up. I guess you’ve got the fact we live under the same roof to thank for that.”

“Or blame.”

She waves me off. “Where’s my Binky Stinky?” she calls out and Binky floats her way and settles around her shoulders like a scarf. “Meg, how about a round of something hot pink and leaded to help kick this girls’ night off in the right direction?”

The entire table gives a whoop of approval.

“You bet.” Meg starts to take off and I pull her to the side. “Rough crowd.” I glower to the table a moment.

Meg chuckles. “You’re just mad you didn’t get an invite, Lot. Creepy thing is, they keep talking to that empty seat as if Greer Giles’ ghost was really in it. I guess they really are a bunch of nutcases. No offense to Carlotta.”

“Are you kidding? Carlotta is not only their ringleader, she has a dead skunk around her neck.”

She shakes her head. “Speaking of skunks, Carlotta gave me the keys to Nell’s old place and said I could load the house up with as many pet skunks as I wanted.”

My mouth falls open. “I am never getting rid of her. You wouldn’t happen to be looking for a roommate, would you?”

“Sorry, Lot. With all the skunks, there won’t be enough room.” She starts to take off again and I jump in her path.

“Nelson Stalwart.” I whip out my phone and show her a picture from one of his social media accounts. “Have you seen him around?”

She pulls my phone close. “That’s Nelly. He brings his dogs around now and again. He’s at the bar tonight. You’re going to quiz him, aren’t you?”

“You bet your beehive I am.” I trot alongside her, and I spot Nelson seated at the edge of the bar.

Meg shoots me a look before heading behind the counter. “I’ll get you that fruity drink you’re after.”

“Thanks,” I say, mostly because she’s making it sound as if I really was about to belly up to the bar.

I turn to the exact man I came out to see tonight. His chocolate-colored hair is slicked back and that cleft in his chin is prominent tonight. He’s donned a green dress shirt the exact color of Noah’s eyes—and my sweet baby girl’s eyes, too—but it’s Noah who’s making me feel guilty for being here at the moment. Both Noah and Everett highly disapprove of me going out on my own to question a suspect.

But honestly? Keelie and I just came for the nachos. I had nothing but a