Trapped (Bullied Book 4) (Bullied Series) Vera Hollins (best large ereader txt) 📖

He staggered, his eyes widening. “Jessie, I…” He hissed and kicked away a small rock on the path. “I never wanted to…” He fisted his hands. “Fuck. Look, I’m sorr—”

“Don’t even say it!” I screamed and pushed against his shoulder. “Don’t even say it, because one sorry will never repair the damage you’ve already done. Don’t say it when you don’t even mean it! Because tomorrow, you’ll send another ‘fat’ insult my way, and I’ll end up making myself throw up in the toilet all over again, feeling awful and like the fattest person in the world!”

Silence fell upon us as shock settled on his face. And then I realized what I’d just said.

I whimpered. I’d actually told him about throwing up.

Kill. Me.

I’d reached the very bottom of humiliation, giving him yet another thing he could use to break me. How much more stupid could I get?

Unable to stay here a second longer, I hid my face in shame and darted away.

Saturday was a blur of tears, self-hate, and replays of our kiss. Not only was I at a low ebb, my throat was sore too. I couldn’t even sing, stuck with homework and dreary thoughts.

He’d kissed me like his life depended on it. He’d told me I wasn’t fat. He’d tried to say he was sorry.

He couldn’t stop thinking about me. He couldn’t get enough of me.

Big deal.

None of that mattered. It didn’t matter when everything would remain the same. There was no respect, trust, or love.

But nothing from the night before topped Blake’s expression when I’d told him my most embarrassing secret, and it gnawed at me. I wished I could glue myself to my bed and stay in my room until I graduated and was gone from this town.

My parents had other plans, though. My dad valued Saturday dinner gatherings of our family and those of his key clients, which served to strengthen his business relationships with them. Those dinners always bored me to death, but as the obedient daughter that I was, I never refused to go.

So that was why I was waiting all dressed up in the living room for my parents to come downstairs. I wore an elegant white flowery blouse and black pants, with braided hair and makeup that hid all the gigantic pimples that had popped up before my period. Add a sore throat and terrible cramps into the equation, and you got a girl who just wanted stay home, make hot chocolate, and watch Netflix in bed.

My phone chimed with a message from Kev.

Can we talk?

My parents took their time to get ready, so I probably had a few more minutes to spare.

“Hi,” I said when he picked up, feeling a flicker of guilt because of our last conversation.

“Hi.” His voice was raspy.

“You don’t sound good. Are you sick?” He didn’t reply immediately, and the heavy silence made me frown.

“No.”

I pressed my hand against my cramping stomach. “Then what’s wrong?”

“First, I want to apologize for last night. I was too drunk.”

“It’s okay, Kev. You don’t have to apologize. You just said how you felt.”

“But I don’t want to put p-p-pressure on you.”

“You’re not. Don’t worry about it. I’m just…” I bit at the cuticle of my thumb. “I’m just sorry I don’t see you that way. I want to, but you know you can’t force your heart to love someone, right?”

He sighed. “I know, and I understand. You like B-Blake, and after last night, I think he may like you too.”

I chuckled coarsely. “Yeah, right.”

You’re a liar, Jess. What about that kiss? And the almost kiss at the track?

“No, seriously. The dude has some serious issues, but I don’t think he hates you.”

No, he only hates the way he feels, which is equally messed up.

“Even if that’s true, it doesn’t mean anything. I’m all for forgiveness, but he’s still my enemy. And he’s hurt me a lot.”

“True dat,” he said.

“But enough about him. I feel like there’s something else that’s bothering you.”

“Umm…I told my dad I’m bi.”

“You did?! What did he say?”

He let out another sigh. “He s-said he doesn’t understand me. He didn’t get mad, but he looked disappointed.”

I could imagine the look on his dad’s face. It was the same look I dreaded seeing on my parents’ faces when I told them I was going to a music college.

“I’m sorry, Kev.” I glanced over my shoulder to confirm my parents were still upstairs. “Our parents can suck sometimes.”

“Tell me about it. You know my mom also isn’t s-supportive of it.”

“I hope they aren’t pressuring you to change or act like you’re straight.”

“No, they aren’t. They said they won’t p-p-prevent me from dating anyone I want, but they hope it will be a girl.”

I shook my head. “Who cares what they think? If you want to be with a guy, it’s your right. You’re in control of your life, not them.” This last sentence came from Susan, and it was one I’d repeated like a mantra the last few weeks, drilling it into my mind.

“I’ll try to remember. But…”

“Yes?”

“You really think Marcus and I would look amazing t-t-together?”

I grinned. “Absolutely.”

“He’s d-d-definitely cute.”

My grin grew bigger. “Mhmm.”

“I saw him at a restaurant earlier.”

I quirked my eyebrows up. “Oh? And?”

He cleared his throat. “And nothing. He was with his, his, his parents, and I was with mine.”

“I sense a ‘but’ in that sentence.”

“But our eyes kept meeting, and I…”

“Yesss?”

“I liked it.”

I could feel excitement bubbling up in me, imagining the moments their eyes met in the restaurant. So, so cute!

“He even s-smiled at me.”

“Aww. And how did you feel?”

“Nice…but strange. I haven’t noticed him until now, and it feels a little too s-s-sudden.”

“I get what you mean. But it’s a start, right?”

“Yeah…but I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?”

“I don’t know if I want to be with a guy…”

“But Kev, there’s nothing for you to be ashamed of—”

“No, you d-don’t get it. I’m not fighting against it. I know it’s p-pointless.”

“Then why?”

“I’m going to be bullied for