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her forthright manner. Away from Bridget’s domineering nature, she had a quiet confidence about her.

I tapped the side of my latte glass with a fingernail. Coral was no fool and I knew I had to tell her the truth about my feelings. ‘I don’t know if you’re aware that Bridget and I used to be best friends. We raised our boys together, but after what happened and so many years passing, I feel like I don’t know her any more.’

Coral made a conciliatory noise as though she knew how that felt. ‘But what’s that got to do with me?’

‘Well, without putting too fine a point on it, you know her far better than I do now. Speaking to you as a mother, Coral, I’m asking you to put aside your feelings about the night Jesse died, for a few minutes.’

‘If only it were that easy,’ she muttered.

‘It’s a big ask, I know,’ I said. ‘I wanted to speak to you confidentially about Bridget.’ For all I knew, she would leave here and go straight back to Bridget, tell her everything I’d said. But, as Mavis had suggested, I went with my gut feeling that any loyalty Coral had once possessed had dissolved when Bridget secretly married Tom. ‘I wondered what your thoughts were on the two of them marrying. On whether Bridget is … serious, for want of a better word.’

‘You’re asking me if she’s got a hidden agenda,’ Coral stated simply.

I hesitated before replying. If it got back to Bridget that I’d been asking these kinds of questions about her, it might destroy any chance I had of staying close to Tom. Like it or not, I knew she had the greater influence on him at the moment. But if I wanted to get to the truth, there really was no sense in me holding back. ‘Yes, that’s what I want to know. I won’t repeat anything you tell me and I hope you’ll do the same. I’m asking for you to help me understand, I feel you’re the only person who can.’

Coral cradled her cup in both hands and stared down into her drink. ‘I’ll be totally straight with you, Jill. Bridget has been really good to me. I know it’s only because she wants Ellis in her life. Although I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of hearing me say this, she stopped me sliding too far down after Jesse’s death. I often suspected he cheated on me, but his death hit me hard. I dread to think where I might have ended up without Bridget.’

‘You must be very grateful for that,’ I said. Despite her saying such positive things, I felt there might be a ‘but’ coming.

‘But there’s been a price to pay. Bridget never lets me forget it.’ Coral bit her lip. ‘There are things that have happened that you’re not aware of. You seem like a nice person, and what Tom did that night is no reflection on you. Nothing that’s happened is your fault, and I certainly don’t blame you. It’s never going to be possible for us to be friends, but as a mother, I want to say I do understand you’re worried for your son. Whatever Ellis does, I’ll always be there for him and hope to protect him.’

She drained her coffee and I felt desperate to keep her there.

‘When you say there are things I’m unaware of, do you mean things Bridget has done?’

‘Sorry, I can’t talk about it, but you’re better off not knowing.’ She stood up. ‘I don’t know why Bridget married Tom. She didn’t confide in me before doing so and it was as much of a shock to me as it was for you.’ I felt my face fall and she hesitated. ‘Maybe you’re looking at the motives of the wrong person.’

I frowned. ‘Who else is there but Bridget?’

‘Tom has made his choices too, Jill,’ she said gently. ‘You shouldn’t forget that.’

Thirty-Four

When Coral had left the café, I ordered another coffee and sat thinking for a while.

Everything in my life had changed. Robert’s workload had increased so that he was regularly getting home too late for us to eat dinner together. He was avoiding any opportunity to talk about Tom and Bridget.

I’d informed the estate agent Tom was no longer interested in the flat, and I rejected the temporary job offer on his behalf.

I was so exhausted when I got into bed at night, I’d fall straight asleep even without reading a few pages of my book. But around 2 a.m., I’d spring awake and the relentless thinking would start. Old memories resurfacing.

When Tom was still a baby, we very nearly lost him. For the first three months of his life he was a healthy, bouncing child. He slept like a dream and had a happy, smiling countenance when he was awake. Everyone commented what a pleasant little soul he was and we loved to watch him playing boisterously with his toys. Then he started waking several times during the night and he’d be hard to wake up in the morning. He went off his food and lost some weight. He stopped playing with his toys.

The health visitor reassured me. ‘Babies often go through these stages during their first year,’ she said. ‘Keep an eye on him over the next week or two, and if you still have concerns, pop him down to your GP. Just to be on the safe side.’

Tom’s condition continued to deteriorate. He turned a strange colour, his rosy cheeks and creamy complexion disappeared overnight. He ate very little, slept lots during the day and became listless and quiet when he was awake.

We took him to the local surgery and the doctor told us exactly the same thing as the health visitor. It felt like a cop-out.

‘I want him checked out,’ I remember saying calmly but firmly. ‘I’d like a second opinion.’

The GP was visibly annoyed and Robert squirmed, but I refused to budge. ‘I’d never forgive myself if something happened

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