Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (good book club books .TXT) đ
- Author: Mark Twain
- Performer: 0142437174
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âSingular dream,â he says.
So he lit up his lantern, and got his saddle-bags, and we started. But when he sees the canoe he didnât like the look of herâsaid she was big enough for one, but didnât look pretty safe for two. I says:
âOh, you neednât be afeard, sir, she carried the three of us easy enough.â
âWhat three?â
âWhy, me and Sid, andâandâand the guns; thatâs what I mean.â
âOh,â he says.
But he put his foot on the gunnel and rocked her, and shook his head, and said he reckoned heâd look around for a bigger one. But they was all locked and chained; so he took my canoe, and said for me to wait till he come back, or I could hunt around further, or maybe I better go down home and get them ready for the surprise if I wanted to. But I said I didnât; so I told him just how to find the raft, and then he started.
I struck an idea pretty soon. I says to myself, sposân he canât fix that leg just in three shakes of a sheepâs tail, as the saying is? sposân it takes him three or four days? What are we going to do?âlay around there till he lets the cat out of the bag? No, sir; I know what Iâll do. Iâll wait, and when he comes back if he says heâs got to go any more Iâll get down there, too, if I swim; and weâll take and tie him, and keep him, and shove out down the river; and when Tomâs done with him weâll give him what itâs worth, or all we got, and then let him get ashore.
So then I crept into a lumber-pile to get some sleep; and next time I waked up the sun was away up over my head! I shot out and went for the doctorâs house, but they told me heâd gone away in the night some time or other, and warnât back yet. Well, thinks I, that looks powerful bad for Tom, and Iâll dig out for the island right off. So away I shoved, and turned the corner, and nearly rammed my head into Uncle Silasâs stomach! He says:
âWhy, Tom! Where you been all this time, you rascal?â
âI hainât been nowheres,â I says, âonly just hunting for the runaway niggerâme and Sid.â
âWhy, where ever did you go?â he says. "Your auntâs been mighty uneasy.â
âShe neednât,â I says, âbecause we was all right. We followed the men and the dogs, but they outrun us, and we lost them; but we thought we heard them on the water, so we got a canoe and took out after them and crossed over, but couldnât find nothing of them; so we cruised along up-shore till we got kind of tired and beat out; and tied up the canoe and went to sleep, and never waked up till about an hour ago; then we paddled over here to hear the news, and Sidâs at the post-office to see what he can hear, and Iâm a-branching out to get something to eat for us, and then weâre going home.â
So then we went to the post-office to get âSidâ; but just as I suspicioned, he warnât there; so the old man he got a letter out of the office, and we waited awhile longer, but Sid didnât come; so the old man said, come along, let Sid foot it home, or canoe it, when he got done fooling aroundâbut we would ride. I couldnât get him to let me stay and wait for Sid; and he said there warnât no use in it, and I must come along, and let Aunt Sally see we was all right.
When we got home Aunt Sally was that glad to see me she laughed and cried both, and hugged me, and give me one of them lickings of hern that donât amount to shucks, and said sheâd serve Sid the same when he come.
And the place was plum full of farmers and farmersâ wives, to dinner; and such another clack a body never heard. Old Mrs. Hotchkiss was the worst; her tongue was a-going all the time. She says:
âWell, Sister Phelps, Iâve ransacked that-air cabin over, anâ I bâlieve the nigger was crazy. I says to Sister Damrellâdidnât I, Sister Damrell?âsâI, heâs crazy, sâIâthemâs the very words I said. You all hearn me: heâs crazy, sâI; everything shows it, sâI. Look at that-air grindstone, sâI; want to tell meât any cretur âtâs in his right mind âs a goinâ to scrabble all them crazy things onto a grindstone, sâI? Here sich ânâ sich a person busted his heart; ânâ here so ânâ so pegged along for thirty-seven year, ânâ all thatânatcherl son oâ Louis somebody, ânâ sich everlastân rubbage. Heâs plumb crazy, sâI; itâs what I says in the fust place, itâs what I says in the middle, ânâ itâs what I says last ânâ all the timeâthe niggerâs crazyâcrazy âs Nebokoodneezer, sâI.â
âAnâ look at that-air ladder made outân rags, Sister Hotchkiss,â says old Mrs. Damrell; âwhat in the name oâ goodness could he ever want ofââ
âThe very words I was a-sayinâ no longer ago thân this minute to Sister Utterback, ânâ sheâll tell you so herself. Sh-she, look at that-air rag ladder, sh-she; ânâ sâI, yes, look at it, sâIâwhat could he a-wanted of it, sâI. Sh-she, Sister Hotchkiss, sh-sheââ
âBut how in the nationâd they ever git that grindstone in there, anyway? ânâ who dug that-air hole? ânâ whoââ
âMy very words, Brer Penrod! I was a-sayinââpass that-air sasser oâ mâlasses, wonât ye?âI was a-sayinâ to Sister Dunlap, jist this minute, how did they git that grindstone in there, sâI. Without help, mind youââthout help! thatâs wher âtis. Donât tell me, sâI; there wuz help, sâI; ânâ therâ wuz a plenty help, too, sâI; therâs ben a dozen a-helpinâ that nigger, ânâ I lay Iâd skin every last nigger on this place but Iâd find out who done it, sâI; ânâ moreover, sâIââ
âA dozen says you!âforty couldnât a done every thing thatâs been done. Look at them case-knife saws and things, how tedious theyâve been made; look at that bed-leg sawed off with âm, a weekâs work for six men; look at that nigger made outân straw on the bed; and look atââ
âYou may well say it, Brer Hightower! Itâs jist as I was a-sayinâ to Brer Phelps, his own self. Sâe, what do you think of it, Sister Hotchkiss, sâe? Think oâ what, Brer Phelps, sâI? Think oâ that bed-leg sawed off that a way, sâe? think of it, sâI? I lay it never sawed itself off, sâIâsomebody sawed it, sâI; thatâs my opinion, take it or leave it, it maynât be no âcount, sâI, but sich as ât is, itâs my opinion, sâI, ânâ if any body kân start a better one, sâI, let him do it, sâI, thatâs all. I says to Sister Dunlap, sâIââ
âWhy, dog my cats, they must a ben a house-full oâ niggers in there every night for four weeks to a done all that work, Sister Phelps. Look at that shirtâevery last inch of it kivered over with secret African writân done with blood! Must a ben a raft uv âm at it right along, all the time, amost. Why, Iâd give two dollars to have it read to me; ânâ as for the niggers that wrote it, I âlow Iâd take ânâ lash âm tâllââ
âPeople to help him, Brother Marples! Well, I reckon youâd think so if youâd a been in this house for a while back. Why, theyâve stole everything they could lay their hands onâand we a-watching all the time, mind you. They stole that shirt right off oâ the line! and as for that sheet they made the rag ladder out of, therâ ainât no telling how many times they didnât steal that; and flour, and candles, and candlesticks, and spoons, and the old warming-pan, and most a thousand things that I disremember now, and my new calico dress; and me and Silas and my Sid and Tom on the constant watch day and night, as I was a-telling you, and not a one of us could catch hide nor hair nor sight nor sound of them; and here at the last minute, lo and behold you, they slides right in under our noses and fools us, and not only fools us but the Injun Territory robbers too, and actuly gets away with that nigger safe and sound, and that with sixteen men and twenty-two dogs right on their very heels at that very time! I tell you, it just bangs anything I ever heard of. Why, sperits couldnât a done better and been no smarter. And I reckon they must a been speritsâbecause, you know our dogs, and therâ ainât no better; well, them dogs never even got on the track of âm once! You explain that to me if you can!âany of you!â
âWell, it does beatââ
âLaws alive, I neverââ
âSo help me, I wouldnât a beââ
âHouse-thieves as well asââ
âGoodnessgracioussakes, Iâd a ben afeard to live in sich aââ
ââFraid to live!âwhy, I was that scared I dasnât hardly go to bed, or get up, or lay down, or set down, Sister Ridgeway. Why, theyâd steal the veryâwhy, goodness sakes, you can guess what kind of a fluster I was in by the time midnight come last night. I hope to gracious if I warnât afraid theyâd steal some oâ the family! I was just to that pass I didnât have no reasoning faculties no more. It looks foolish enough now, in the daytime; but I says to myself, thereâs my two poor boys asleep, âway up stairs in that lonesome room, and I declare to goodness I was that uneasy ât I crepâ up there and locked âem in! I did. And anybody would. Because, you know, when you get scared that way, and it keeps running on, and getting worse and worse all the time, and your wits gets to addling, and you get to doing all sorts oâ wild things, and by and by you think to yourself, sposân I was a boy, and was away up there, and the door ainât locked, and youââ She stopped, looking kind of wondering, and then she turned her head around slow, and when her eye lit on meâI got up and took a walk.
Says I to myself, I can explain better how we come to not be in that room this morning if I go out to one side and study over it a little. So I done it. But I dasnât go fur, or sheâd a sent for me. And when it was late in the day the people all went, and then I come in and told her the noise and shooting waked up me and âSid,â and the door was locked, and we wanted to see the fun, so we went down the lightning-rod, and both of us got hurt a little, and we didnât never want to try that no more. And then I went on and told her all what I told Uncle Silas before; and then she said sheâd forgive us, and maybe it was all right enough anyway, and about what a body might expect of boys, for all boys was a pretty harum-scarum lot as fur as she could see; and so, as long as no harm hadnât come of it, she judged she better put in her time being grateful we was alive and well and she had us still, stead of fretting over what was past and done. So then she kissed me, and patted me on the head, and dropped into a kind of a brown study; and pretty soon jumps up, and says:
âWhy, lawsamercy, itâs most night, and Sid not come yet! What has become of that boy?â
I see my chance; so I skips up and says:
âIâll run right up
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