Club You to Death Anuja Chauhan (best ebook reader for ubuntu .TXT) 📖

all the complications go away.’ He headbangs his pillow in a fit of mock-frustration. ‘What the hell are you doing in Kalahandi, Bannerjee? Get into this bed with me now!’

She sighs, wistfully. ‘I’d love to! You know I’d love to. But the roof, Kash! I need to cast the roof!’

‘Arrey, balls to the bloody roof!’ he replies, rearing up to sit bolt upright. ‘Why do they need a roof? Let it be an open-air school! The first open-air school in Odisha! You’ll win an award for innovation! You can thank me in your acknowledgement speech, then!’

‘I’ll thank you in my acknowledgement speech, anyway. I’ve got it all worked out. D’you wanna hear what I plan to say?’

‘What?’ Kashi growls, half-sulky, half-mollified.

‘Okay listen carefully.’

He can practically smell the sweet Kuhu scent of her – soap and shampoo and freshly baked bread – as she curls up in her razai again and whispers with shy importance.

‘I

can soar so high,

because you,

are my sky.’

Kashi’s heart turns over in his chest. The happy gas buffets him so hard he feels like he’s floating. Not because of the words – his parents have been milking the whole Sky equals Akash thing in his birthday cards his entire life – but because she is just so damn incredibly adorable.

‘That,’ he says, when he is finally able to speak, ‘is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard in my life, Kuhu Bannerjee.’

‘Fuck you!’ comes the instant response. ‘I’m an architect, not a humanities major, who went to law college and can fling around a bunch of flowery Latin words every time I open my mouth! Just say thank you nicely and clap for me for winning the award!’

‘Oh, I’ll clap for you!’ he promises. ‘I’ll clap so hard I’ll bring the roof down!’

She gurgles triumphantly. ‘But there is no roof, stupid! That’s why I’m winning the award.’

Kashi hits himself on the forehead with his pillow. ‘You think you’re so smart.’

‘Yes,’ she agrees. ‘I am. Now let’s see if you’re smart or not – was this a make-up call or a break-up call?’

‘Uh, I was kind of hoping it was a make-out call …’ he says meaningfully.

‘That,’ she says happily, ‘is cheesiest thing I have heard in my life, Akash Dogra. Good night.’

Bambi Todi is working her way through a ring of steamed veg-momos with complete concentration. There is a little red chilli sauce on the corner of her mouth. A little snot drips from her nose. Sensing Kashi’s gaze, she looks up, and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, eyes slightly glazed with slick satisfaction.

‘Momos are the best.’

‘Agreed.’ He smiles.

They’re sitting on the veranda that looks out at the tennis courts of the DTC, sweaty and flushed from a hectic game of doubles – Kashi and Gen. Mehra, verses Bambi and Brig. Dogra. The older men are still at it, playing a highly competitive game that has just gone into a tiebreaker.

‘I’m a momo snob, I think,’ she says. ‘I judge people for preferring dim sum and dumplings and wontons to momos. Bloody chutiya fakers.’

‘Did Anshul like momos?’

The question is out before he can stop it. His face reddens.

‘I just asked because he was a mountaineer,’ he hastens to clarify. ‘I mean, he must’ve done a lot of the whole Mountain Maggi and Thukpa thing.’

She reaches out and lightly touches his hand. ‘Kashi, it’s been a while. I can talk about it without bawling my eyes out.’

Then she pushes away her plate. ‘But why am I talking to you about momos? I have big news.’

‘What?’

She leans, lowering her voice.

‘Bhatti’s having a cow. Because ACP Bhavani Singh and the Crime Branch are trying to get a search warrant to dig up the’ – she sketches quote marks in the air and adopts an official tone – ‘‘Shrimati Savitri Mehra Udyaan.’

Kashi’s jaw drops. ‘What? The kitchen garden? But why?’

She shakes her head, her eyes huge. ‘He won’t say,’ she whispers, apparently as mystified as him. ‘But I’m guessing it’s because he suspects something’s buried there.’

‘’Cos I know where the bodies are buried,’ Kashi hums in a sinister voice.

Bambi giggles, rather guiltily. ‘Exactly!’

As they stare at each other, half-excited, half-petrified, Kashi feels a thrill of excitement. Goosebumps rise on his arms. Then a thought strikes him and he sits back frowning.

‘Why didn’t the ACP tell me though? I thought I was assisting him in this investigation!’

‘He didn’t tell me either,’ she admits. ‘Though I’ve been helping him too! I only found out ’cos I went across to dig up some beets and it was all cordoned off with yellow tape and PK’s men were guarding it, looking officious AF.’

Kashi crosses his arms. ‘I think I’m a little offended.’

She nods. ‘Me too. Sly Bhavani. Cutting us off from the inside info after using us to get the inside info! Matlab, I’m the only one who came clean about the blackmailing – he should trust me!’

‘That’s true,’ Kashi agrees.

‘Except …’ Her voice trails away. Then she looks up, her eyes resolute. ‘Kashi, I didn’t quite tell him everything.’

His heart gives the oddest little bump. He knows this look well. He groans softly. ‘What now, Bambi Todi?’

She rolls her eyes, looks around the buzzing, noisy veranda, and leans in. ‘Walk me to my car?’

He nods and leaps to his feet quickly. ‘Sure.’

She gets to her feet too and they start to walk towards the exit.

‘Oye! Master Dogra! The waiter still has your card!’

Brig. Dogra, in a red headband and tennis whites, is leaning across the net worriedly.

It is now Kashi’s turn to roll his eyes. ‘I know, Dad,’ he yells back. ‘I’m coming back.’

‘Good!’ the brigadier bellows. ‘Because as soon as I’ve pulverized Mehra, I plan to beat you in straight sets!’

This cocky statement is met by a chorus of cheers from the older gents on the courts.

‘Done!’ Kashi yells back and strides out of the veranda. ‘He’s unbelievable.’

‘He’s just happy to be hanging out with you again,’ Bambi says. ‘This three-week break of yours is like