One night a month or so later, having forgotten her keys, Carlota rang the doorbell after everyone but me had gone to bed, and I opened the door and found her outside on the stoop with the boy who turned out to be Chip. Cold clouds of boozy breath puffed from their mouths, their freezing faces and smiles practically incandescent. Chip, on the short side, had long orange sideburns, and he held his ski-gloved hand out to me and, looking me in the eyes, smiled like a square-jawed Disney prince. I’d hardly noticed him at school. I think he was on the soccer team. I braced myself, waiting for Carlota’s whisper that she was going to sneak Chip down into her bedroom. Instead they shared a quick kiss on the lips, she came inside, and I closed the door on Chip. She yanked her boots off, toes to heel like an expert New England girl, and with a bashful flash of a smile that made me feel like a stranger whispered, Buenas noches, and bounded down the stairs in her wool socks to her room.
That spring, my cousin Denise had her wedding in Framingham. In the parking lot of the restaurant and banquet hall where the wedding was happening, a fight erupted between my parents in the car that rapidly escalated into vicious mutual loathing. I was used to Bert’s accusing shouts, his blame and complaints, but now they had a frantic, pleading edge. And my mother, who almost never raised her voice, was bleating her long-pent-up outrage and pain at my father in a way I hadn’t heard before, that sounded both newborn and ancient at once. That was the year I first became aware
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