One Hot Fake: An Accidental Fake Marriage Romance Sarah Brooks (reading rainbow books .txt) 📖

that too, but I have to trust that you’ll give me space. I’ll let you know if I need you.”

Declan is silent for a moment. “I’m not sure that’s a promise I can keep. I’m naturally protective of people I love.”

Frustration wells up inside me. “Can you at least promise to try?”

He nods. “Sure.”

Chapter 29

Marian

I dozed most of the morning, but I can’t bring myself to be mad at Declan for keeping me up half the night. I enjoyed his gentle lovemaking, though it was a little frustrating. He insisted on being super gentle because of the baby.

My appointment with the obstetrician is at noon, and at eleven-thirty, Declan shows up at my office. The corners of my lips lift in a smile when I hear his voice. My sleepiness disappears, and I turn off my computer and start to get ready to leave. We meet at the doorway and pause for a few seconds to hug and kiss. I like being a couple. I forgot how nice it was always to have someone to hug and hold.

“Are you excited?” Declan asks me in the car.

“I am,” I say. “Distract me and tell me about the renovations. The opening day is coming up.”

“I know. I’ve done it once before with the Santa Monica one, but it feels like the first time.”

“You sound like a virgin who is not sure whether she had sex or not,” I tell him with a laugh.

Declan bursts out laughing. “You have a way with words, but that’s exactly how I feel. Anyway, it’s going well. The equipment starts coming in next week.”

Talking about the pizza shop keeps me distracted until we get to the clinic.

“Here goes,” Declan says as we leave the car and walk up to the clinic’s double glass doors.

At the reception, I give the lady my name, and she directs us to a waiting room down the hallway. Two other very pregnant women are seated in the waiting room. My gaze gravitates toward their tummies with a mixture of envy and awe and fear. How will I handle it when I get to the five-month mark knowing that was the period when I lost my Lilly?

I tear my gaze away. Turns out there are several obstetricians in the clinic, and in five minutes, we are shown to an office down the hallway.

Dr. Ross introduces herself and listens intently as I tell her about my symptoms and a positive pregnancy test.

“You did well to come in early. That means we can start on the right supplements right away.” She’s young but has wise grey eyes, and I immediately feel comfortable with her.

“First things first,” she says. “We’ll get a pregnancy test done, and then we can take it from there.”

She takes us next door to a lab where a lab technician pricks my finger and draws blood. We sit in the waiting room, and after ten minutes, we’re called back to the obstetrician’s office. She doesn’t look as easygoing as she had earlier, and my stomach muscles tighten with anxiety.

“What’s wrong?” I say.

“The pregnancy test is reading negative, but that could just be an error. Instead of another pregnancy test, we’ll do a scan,” she says. “From the dates you gave me, you ought to be nine or ten weeks along.”

I’m numb and not processing anything she says. Declan takes my hand and holds it tightly as we walk to the ultrasound room. I don’t take in anything other than the fact that the sonographer is also a woman.

“I’ll see you back in my office when you’re done,” Dr. Ross says.

I follow the sonographer’s instructions like a robot. I lie on the bed, lift my blouse to my ribcage, close my eyes and try to control the rising panic in my chest. I cannot handle another loss.

She pours the cold jelly on my belly, which transports me to another place and time.

“I can’t hear a heartbeat,” the sonographer had said.

I sat bolt upright. “What do you mean? My baby is in there. I know she is.” I’m hysterical, and it takes her almost ten minutes to convince me to lie back down.

I open my eyes and stare at her face. From my experience, the best way to know whether it’s good or bad news is to look out for the sonographer’s facial expressions. This one is good. She doesn’t twitch a muscle as she stares at the screen and moves the handheld probe over my tummy.

“Is everything okay?” Declan says.

She takes the probe away and wipes me down with a towel. “The doctor will talk to you.” She smiles to remove the sting from the words.

As we walk back to the doctor’s office, we have no idea what to expect. I know it’s serious, though, when I see her solemn expression.

“What’s going on?” Declan says when we sit down.

The doctor glances from Declan to me. “Like the blood test, the scan shows an empty uterus. There’s no baby and no signs that there was one.”

My mouth drops. “I don’t understand. I did a pregnancy test, and it was positive.”

“She did,” Declan says.

“I even had the symptoms,” I say, speaking more to myself than the doctor.

She lets me rant for a few more minutes until I have nothing else to say. I feel as if I’m caught in a nightmare. It’s one thing to lose a baby like I lost Lilly, but to be told there was no baby to begin with. What does that make me? Crazy?

“You might have had what is called a blighted ovum,” she says, speaking gently. “It’s a fertilized egg that implants itself in the womb, but it doesn’t become an embryo.”

“I don’t understand,” Declan says.

I retreat into myself, and the words between Declan and the doctor pass through my ears, but their meaning doesn’t register in my brain. Was I so desperate to be pregnant that my body believed that I was pregnant?

We leave the doctor’s office. I’m numb with shock, and we don’t speak on