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Thereā€™s no way to know, in this moment, whatā€™s inspired Laila to kiss me like she forgives me. Like she loves me. And, honestly, I donā€™t need to know. All that matters is Iā€™ve realized Iā€™ve found the great love of my life, exactly as Mimiā€™s always wanted for me. And this kiss tells me Laila believes sheā€™s found hers. And so, without asking why, or how long itā€™ll last, I take Laila, the woman I love, into my arms and kiss her in return with everything Iā€™ve got. Everything I am. And everything I canā€™t wait to become, with her by my side.

Twenty-Five

Laila

Sasha blows out a plume of smoke from the joint sheā€™s sharing with Savage and me and says, ā€œIā€™m so glad youā€™re here.ā€

The three of us are chatting while smoking pot and drinking booze in Mimiā€™s comfortable family room. Iā€™m sitting next to Savage on a couch, my legs draped across his lap, while Sasha is sprawled across a nearby armchair. And itā€™s blowing my mind to realize, the whole time Iā€™d been certain Savage was some kind of sex addict player, his cousin was the ā€œgroupieā€ I saw him with that fateful day in Las Vegas. Sasha was the one walking arm-in-arm with Savage, saying she was thrilled to be there with him. Sasha was the girl who wanted to get her hands on his famous body. Because Sasha is a massage therapist. Holy hell. If I hadnā€™t seen Savage with his cousin that day, and hadnā€™t misinterpreted their conversation, where would I be right now? Would I be sitting here with Savage and his cousin, feeling swept away by my feelings for Savage? Or would our tour fling have ended when the tour did?

ā€œSo, tell me the truth, guys,ā€ Sasha says, putting down her wine glass. ā€œAre you two really engaged or did you tell Mimi a beautiful lie?ā€

Savage takes the joint from me. ā€œThe engagement part was a beautiful lie, but we really are together and totally committed.ā€ He looks at me, his expression saying, Please, let that be a true statement. And when I smile and nod, Savage grins and exhales in relief.

Sasha takes the joint from Savage and sucks on it. ā€œI figured the engagement had to be a lie for Mimiā€™s sake. If youā€™d actually proposed to Laila, you would have spammed me beforehand with a thousand texts. ā€˜Sasha, how should I ask her?ā€™ ā€˜Sasha, where should I ask her?ā€™ ā€˜Sasha, what should I wear when I ask her?ā€™ā€

Savage chuckles. ā€œI was sixteen and had never asked a girl on an actual date before, dude. You always give me hell about that.ā€

ā€œIt was cute the first ten times.ā€

ā€œIt wasnā€™t ten times. Three or four, tops. And that was back in high school when I had no game. Iā€™m a grown-ass man now. A rock god, if you havenā€™t heard.ā€

ā€œWait, what?ā€ Sasha deadpans.

ā€œIā€™m on magazine covers and everything.ā€

ā€œWow.ā€

ā€œIā€™m also a judge on Sing Your Heart Out.ā€

ā€œNo.ā€

ā€œTrue story.ā€

ā€œImpressive.ā€

ā€œIf I wanted to propose nowadays,ā€ Savage continues, ā€œI wouldnā€™t need to ask for your or anyone elseā€™s help to do it, any more than I need help walking onstage and performing for tens of thousands of people whoā€™ve paid good money to come see me.ā€

ā€œGosh, youā€™re so fancy.ā€

ā€œI am. If I wanted to propose, Iā€™d slay that shit, dude, all by myself.ā€

ā€œWell, pardon me, Mr. Famous. My bad.ā€ Sasha looks at me, her dark eyes sparkling. Clearly, bantering with her cousin is one of the great joys of Sashaā€™s life. But I can barely function in this moment. Does the cheeky speech Savage just gave signal heā€™s thinking about proposing to me in the finale, in order to grab that bonus the producers offered him? I mean, assuming Iā€™m still around by then. Frankly, I wouldnā€™t blame him if he did it. In fact, I want him to do it to earn himself some easy money. Plus, I canā€™t deny the idea that I might get to look into The Beastā€™s eyes and hear him say those magical wordsā€”ā€Will you marry me, Belle?ā€ā€”is incredibly exciting to me. Even though my brain would understand the fakeness of the moment, my heart would nonetheless enjoy getting to feel, if only fleetingly, like a princess in a fairytale.

Sasha picks up her wine glass again, while I pick up my whiskey. ā€œWell, Iā€™m glad you told Mimi such a lovely lie. I canā€™t remember the last time I saw her smiling that big.ā€

Savage replies to his cousin, and an entire conversation ensues, but my attention is flickering in and out. Iā€™m bursting at the seams to tell Savage about my epiphany on the staircaseā€”namely, that I saw him with Sasha in Las Vegas, and every action and reaction of mine since then has been tainted by that misunderstanding. I should wait to tell him everything in private, I decide, since my revelation about Sasha will undoubtedly make a whole lot of other dominos fallā€”dominos that will surely whip up quite a bit of emotion inside me. But, still, I canā€™t resist asking Sasha a few pointed questions about that fateful day.

I wait for a lull in the conversation between Savage and his cousin, and then ask, ā€œSasha, did you ever visit Adrian during our tour?ā€

She nods. ā€œOnce. Your show was brilliant, Laila.ā€

ā€œThank you. Which show did you see?ā€

ā€œLas Vegas. It was Adrianā€™s birthday weekend. Our birthdays are five days apart, so he flew me and a couple of my friends to Las Vegas to celebrate, as a birthday gift to me.ā€

ā€œNo, flying you to Vegas was my birthday gift to me,ā€ Savage corrects.

Sasha rolls her eyes. ā€œSee what Iā€™m dealing with here? This year, he flew me and my friends to Vegas. Last year, he bought me a house for my birthday. And all I ever give him as a birthday present is the same thing, every year: a bottle of his favorite whiskey and an extra-long massage.ā€

ā€œThatā€™s all I ever want,ā€ Savage says.

ā€œSpeaking of me

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