Crazy For You Alexander, S.B. (ebook reader 8 inch .TXT) 📖

he looked, as though he’d found freedom from that stupid disease. I made it to his bedside without collapsing and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, Daddy. I hope heaven is everything you dreamed it to be and that you see Mom. I hope you can walk and talk again and tell all your friends in heaven jokes until they’re laughing so hard they’re crying. Embrace peace. Hug Mom for me and know I will be fine. I’ll be thinking of you every day for the rest of my life.”

Georgia sobbed, the sound tearing out my soul. “I’m sorry.” She stood on the other side of the bed. “I love you, Mr. Lawson. You were always like a second dad to me.”

Nan cried in the background.

I went over to console Nan—or maybe it was my way of consoling myself. Either way, we needed each other.

Georgia joined us, and the three of us formed a group hug.

Nan said a prayer. Then I gave Dad one last glance and blew him a kiss.

I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for tomorrow or the next day or even the next hour. I wasn’t even sure I could walk into my house without Dad being there. But I had to believe I would get through it. I had to believe that everything in life happened for a reason—a good reason.

For the time being, I had to hold on to that thought because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t make it through the night.

28

I hated to leave the hospital. I felt as though I was leaving my entire world behind. I was a zombie as Nan drove through the town I’d grown up in, one that appeared foreign to me. Memories of Mom, Dad, and me eating at many of the restaurants we passed pricked my psyche. A smile broke out as one memory in particular bombarded me.

We’d been eating at my favorite Chinese restaurant, and Dad decided to tell one of many jokes he had in his arsenal. It wasn’t so much the joke I remembered as how animated he’d been when he told it and how he’d laughed harder at his jokes than Mom and me.

Reality sped by outside as people went about their days as if they didn’t have a care in the world. I wanted to experience that again, the freedom I’d had when Mom and Dad were alive. I was desperate to wake up the next day and feel happy, as though everything had been just a nightmare. I wanted to run downstairs and watch Dad make his famous blueberry pancakes or talk to him about baseball or football or whatever the sport was for that season.

Stop torturing yourself, Skyler.

I leaned my head against the passenger window. “Mom’s death hit me hard,” I muttered. “But why do I feel like Dad’s is worse?”

Nan patted my leg, keeping her attention on the streets ahead. “Oh, sweetie. You’ve lost two parents. No child should lose both at such a young age. I love you, Skye. We’ll get through this.”

I sure hoped she was right because at the moment, I felt like it would take years before I would feel joy in my soul. “I love you too. I’m glad you’re here with me and for me.” I loved Georgia, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to live with her.

The bright lights of town dissolved into a dimly lit street as Nan navigated through our neighborhood.

“Can you keep driving?” I asked.

She slowed about three houses from ours. “I could, but you need rest.”

“I can’t sleep. I can’t go into the house, either.” I rubbed my chest, hoping the fire burning a hole in my lungs would simmer.

“You need to try, Skyler. Also, we need to talk.”

I was certain she wanted to talk about Dad’s funeral, but the topic became a blip on my radar screen when I saw who was sitting on our porch.

Nan jerked her head toward me. “Does he know?”

“Not sure.” Georgia had told me before we left the hospital that she would let Mia know, which meant Mia would tell Grady. Maybe Grady had finally been able to connect with Colton.

“He looks like he needs a shoulder to cry on,” Nan said as a matter of fact.

Our porch light cast a glow, highlighting Colton’s forlorn expression. If my heart wasn’t broken, it would’ve cracked in several places for him. I wondered what had changed so drastically since he’d taken me to the hospital. He’d been so relaxed that day in the school’s parking lot.

The car came to a stop in our driveway, and Nan left the engine running. “I just remembered we don’t have anything to eat in the house. Why don’t I run and get some Chinese?”

I didn’t know if she was trying to give me some time alone with Colton or not. It didn’t matter. What mattered was the sudden dark thought that had gripped my brain. “Did something happen to his parents? You said you hadn’t seen them all week.” She’d been home a few times while I’d stayed at the hospital.

“I don’t know.”

Given that Colton’s dad drank or was drunk more times than not, I wondered if something had happened to his dad.

My hand was primed to open the car door, but my limbs were locked. I couldn’t take any more bad news. I couldn’t bear to see Colton looking like he’d lost his best friend.

“Skyler,” Nan said. “My mom once told me that emotional pain can heal faster when you help another who is suffering.” She glanced out her window, then back to me. “That boy, he’s about to explode. So find a way to channel your pain to help him. Maybe in the end, you two will help each other.”

I believed Colton had helped me by occupying every waking thought I’d had since he returned home from the academy. I believed he was the reason I hadn’t stressed over Dad as much as I had before school started.

I got out on shaky