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>safe?

Scott had a gestalt realization. This was fun. He didn’t talk

to the paper’s computer. He treated it as an electronic mailbox.

But this, there was an attractiveness to the anonymity behind the

game. Even if this Kirk was a flaming asshole, he might have

discovered a new form of entertainment.

VERY GOOD. YOU’RE QUICK.

Not too quick, sweetheart.

IS THIS REALLY SCOTT MASON?

Yes.

PROVE IT.

Kirk, or whoever this was, was comfortable with anonymity, obvi-

ously. And paranoid. Sure, play the game.

You screwed up the NASA launch.

I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!! OK, IT’S YOU.

Glad to know it.

YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG.

What do I have wrong?

ABOUT HACKERS. WE’RE NOT BAD. ONLY A FEW BAD APPLES, JUST LIKE

COPS AND REPORTERS. I HOPE YOU’RE A GOOD GUY.

You called me, remember?

STILL, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU THINK.

Sure, I think.

NO NO NO . . .HACKERS. WE’RE BASICALLY A GOOD LOT WHO ENJOY

COMPUTERS FOR COMPUTERS SAKE.

That’s what I’ve been saying

REALLY. HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A HACKER REALLY IS?

A guy who pokes his nose around where it’s not wanted. Like in

NASA computers.

YEAH, THAT’S WHAT THE PRESS SAYS AND SO THAT’S WHAT THE COUNTRY

THINKS. BUT IT’S NOT NECESSARILY SO.

So, change my mind.

LET ME GIVE YOU THE NAMES OF A FEW HACKERS. BILL GATES. HE

FOUNDED MICROSOFT. WORTH A COUPLE OF BILLION. MITCH KAPOR.

FOUNDED LOTUS. STEVE WOZNIAK FOUNDED APPLE. GET THE POINT?

You still haven’t told me what you think a hacker is.

A HACKER IS SOMEONE WHO HACKS WITH COMPUTERS. SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS

USING THEM, PROGRAMMING THEM, FIGURING OUT HOW THEY WORK, WHAT

MAKES THEM TICK. PUSHING THEM TO THE LIMIT. EXTRACTING EVERY

LAST INCH OF POWER FROM THEM. LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. WHAT

DO YOU CALL SOMEONE WHO PLAYS WITH AMATEUR RADIOS?

A Ham.

AND WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE WHO HAS A CALCULATOR IN HIS SHORT

POCKET WITH A DOZEN BALLPOINT PENS?

In my day it was a sliderule, and we called them propeller heads.

THAT TRANSLATES. GOOD. AND WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE WHO FLIES

AIRPLANES FOR FUN?

A fly boy, space jockey.

A CAR TINKERER?

A grease monkey

AND SOMEONE WHO JUMPS OUT OF PLANES?

Fucking crazy!!!!

FAIR ENOUGH. BUT HERE’S THE POINT. DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIF-

FERENT FOLKS. AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO

PLAY WITH COMPUTERS ARE CALLED HACKERS. IT’S AN OLD TERM FROM

THE 60’S FROM THE COLLEGES, AND AT THAT TIME IT WASN’T DEROGATO-

RY. IT DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS THAT IT DOES

TODAY THANKS TO YOU. HACKERS ARE JUST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO PLAY

WITH COMPUTERS INSTEAD OF CARS, BOATS, AIRPLANES, SPORTS OR

WHATEVER. THAT’S IT, PURE AND SIMPLE.

Ok, let’s accept that for now. What about those stories of

hackers running around inside of everybody else’s computers and

making computer viruses and all. Morris and Chase were hackers

who caused a bunch of damage.

WHOA! TWO SEPARATE ISSUES. THERE ARE A NUMBER OF HACKERS WHO DO

GO PROBING AND LOOKING AROUND OTHER PEOPLE’S COMPUTERS. AND I

AM PROUD TO ADMIT THAT I AM ONE OF THEM.

Wait a minute. You first say that hackers are the guys in the

white hats and then you admit that you are one of those criminal

types who invades the privacy of others.

THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOOKING AROUND A COMPUTER

READING ITS FILES AND DESTROYING THEM. I REMEMBER READING ABOUT

THIS GUY WHO BROKE INTO PEOPLE’S HOUSES WHEN THEY WERE OUT OF

TOWN. HE LIVED IN THEIR HOUSE UNTIL THEY CAME BACK AND THEN

LEFT. HE USED THEIR FOOD, THEIR TV, THEIR SHOWER AND ALL, BUT

NEVER STOLE ANYTHING OR DID ANY DAMAGE. THAT’S KINDA WHAT HACK-

ERS DO.

Why? For the thrill?

OH, I GUESS THAT MAY BE PART OF IT, BUT IT’S REALLY MORE THAN

THAT. IT’S A THIRST, AT LEAST FOR ME, FOR KNOWLEDGE.

That’s a line of crap.

REALLY. LET’S COMPARE. LET’S SAY I WAS WORKING IN A GARAGE AND

I WAS CAR ENTHUSIAST BUT I DIDN’T OWN AND COULDN’T AFFORD A

FERRARI. SO, DURING THE DAY WHEN MY CUSTOMERS ARE AT WORK, I

TAKE THEIR CARS OUT FOR A RIDE . . .AND I EVEN REPLACE THE GAS.

I DO IT FOR THE THRILL OF THE RIDE, NOT FOR THE THRILL OF THE

CRIME.

So you admit hacking is a crime?

NO NO NO NO. AGREED, ENTERING SOME COMPUTERS IS CONSIDERED A

CRIME IN SOME STATES, BUT IN THE STATE OF TEXAS, IF YOU LEAVE

YOUR COMPUTER PASSWORD TAPED TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DESK DRAWER

YOU CAN GO TO JAIL. I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT.

You made that up.

CHECK IT OUT. I DON’T KNOW THE LEGAL JARGON, BUT IT’S TRUE.

THE ISSUE IS, FOR THE GUY WHO DRIVES PEOPLE’S CARS WITHOUT THEIR

PERMISSION, THAT IS REALLY A CRIME. I GUESS A GRAND FELONY.

RIGHT? EVEN IF HE DOES NOTHING BUT DRIVE IT AROUND THE BLOCK.

BUT WITH COMPUTERS IT’S DIFFERENT.

How is it different?

FIRST THERE’S NO THEFT.

What about theft of service?

ARGUABLE.

Breaking and entering.

NOT ACCORDING TO MY FRIEND. HIS FATHER IS A LAWYER.

But, you have to admit, you are doing it without permission.

NO, NOT REALLY.

Aw, come on.

LISTEN. LET’S SAY THAT YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE.

Nice place to make a home.

AND LET’S SAY THAT YOU AND YOUR NEIGHBORS DECIDE TO LEAVE THE

KEYS TO YOUR HOUSES ON THE CURB OF YOUR STREET EVERY DAY. EVEN

WHEN YOU’RE HOME. SO THAT ANYONE WHO COMES ALONG CAN PICK UP THE

KEYS AND WALK INTO YOUR HOUSE ANYTIME THEY WANT TO.

That’s crazy.

OF COURSE IT IS. BUT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DID THAT AND THEN

YOUR HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO AND YOU WERE ROBBED?

I guess the police would figure me for a blithering idiot, a

candidate for the funny farm, and my insurance company might have

reason not to pay me after they canceled me. So what?

THAT’S WHAT I DO. AND THAT’S WHAT MY FRIENDS DO. WE LOOK AROUND

FOR PEOPLE WHO LEAVE THE KEYS TO THEIR COMPUTERS LYING AROUND FOR

ANYONE TO PICK UP. WHEN WE FIND A SET OF KEYS, WE USE THEM.

It can’t be that simple. No one would leave keys lying around

for hackers.

WRONGO MEDIA BREATH. IT’S ABSURDLY SIMPLE. I DON’T KNOW OF VERY

MANY COMPUTERS THAT I CAN’T GET INTO. SOME PEOPLE CALL IT BREAK-

ING AND ENTERING. I CALL IT A WELCOME MAT. IF YOU DON’T WANT ME

IN YOUR COMPUTER, THEN DON’T LEAVE THE FRONT DOOR OPEN.

If what you’re saying is true . . .

IT IS. COMPLETELY. I HAVE THE KEYS TO HUNDREDS OF COMPUTERS

AROUND THE COUNTRY AND THE WORLD. AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER THE

KEYS WERE ALL LEFT LYING IN THE STREET. SO I USED THEM TO HAVE A

LOOK AROUND.

I don’t know if I buy this. But, for now, I’ll put that aside.

So, where do these hacker horrors come from?

AGAIN LET’S COMPARE. IF YOU LEFT YOUR KEYS IN FRONT OF YOUR

HOUSE AND HALF OF YOUR TOWN KNEW IT AND 100 PEOPLE WENT INTO YOUR

HOUSE TO LOOK AROUND, HOW MANY WOULD STAY HONEST AND JUST LOOK?

Not many I guess.

BUT WITH HACKERS, THERE’S A CODE OF ETHICS THAT MOST OF US LIVE

BY. BUT AS IN ANY GROUP OR SOCIETY THERE ARE A FEW BAD APPLES

AND THEY GIVE THE REST OF US A BAD NAME. THEY GET A KICK OUT OF

HURTING OTHER PEOPLE, OR STEALING, OR WHATEVER. HERE’S ANOTHER

SOMETHING FOR YOUR FILE. EVERY COMPUTER SYSTEM IN THE COUNTRY

HAS BEEN ENTERED BY HACKERS. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

That’s impossible.

TRY ME. I’VE BEEN INTO OVER A THOUSAND MYSELF AND THERE ARE

THOUSANDS OF GUYS LIKE ME. AT LEAST I’M HONEST.

Why should I believe that?

WE’RE TALKING AREN’T WE.

Throw me off the track.

I COULD HAVE IGNORED YOU. I’M UNTRACEABLE.

By the way, what’s your name.

CAPTAIN KIRK.

No, really.

REALLY. ON BBS THAT’S MY ONLY NAME.

How can I call you?

YOU CAN’T. WHAT’S YOUR HANDLE?

Handle? Like CB? Never had one.

YOU NEED ONE DUDE. WITHOUT IT YOU’RE A JUST A REPORTER NERD.

Been called worse. How about Spook? That’s what I’m doing.

CAN’T. WE ALREADY GOT A SPOOK. CAN’T HAVE TWO. TRY AGAIN.

What do you mean we?

WE. MY GROUP. YOU’VE ALREADY HEARD OF 401 AND CHAOS AND THE

LEGION OF DOOM. WELL, I AM PART OF ANOTHER GROUP. BUT I CAN’T

TELL YOU WHAT IT’S CALLED. YOU’RE NOT PART OF THE INNER CIRCLE.

I KNOW WHAT I’LL CALL YOU. REPO MAN.

repo man

REPORTER MAN. SUSPICIOUS TOO.

I suspect that hackers are up to no good.

OK, SOME ARE, BUT THEY’RE THE EXCEPTION. HOW MANY MASS GOOD

SAMARITANS OTHER THAN MOTHER TERESA DO YOU WRITE ABOUT? NONE.

ONLY IF THEY’RE KILLED IN ACTION. BUT, MASS MURDERERS ARE NEWS.

SO ALL YOU NEWS FIENDS MAKE HEADLINES ON DEATH AND DESTRUCTION.

THE MEDIA SELLS THE HYPE AND YOU CAN’T DENY IT.

Got me. You’re right, that’s what the public buys. But not all

news is bad.

EXACTLY. SEE THE POINT?

At least we don’t do the crime, just report it. What about these

viruses. I suppose hackers are innocent of that too.

BY AND LARGE YES. PEOPLE THAT WRITE VIRUSES AND INFECT COMPUTERS

ARE THE COMPUTER EQUIVALENT TO SERIAL KILLERS.

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