Hudibras Samuel Butler (free novels to read TXT) đ
- Author: Samuel Butler
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Without the carnal means of heeding;
Who âtwixt your inward sense and outward,
Are worse, than if yâ had none, accoutred.
I grant, all courses are in vain,
Unless we can get in again;
The only way thatâs left us now;
But all the difficultyâs how.
âTis true, wâ have money, thâ only powâr
That all mankind falls down before;
Money, that, like the swords of kings,
Is the last reason of all things;
And therefore need not doubt our play
Has all advantages that way;
As long as men have faith to sell,
And meet with those that can pay well;
Whose half-starvâd pride, and avarice,
One church and state will not suffice
Tâ expose to sale, beside the wages
Of storing plagues to after-ages.
Nor is our money less our own,
Than âtwas before we laid it down,
For âtwill return, and turn tâ account,
If we are brought, in play upon ât:
Or but, by casting knaves, get in,
What powâr can hinder us to win?
We know the arts we usâd before,
In peace and war, and something more;
And by thâ unfortunate events,
Can mend our next experiments:
For when wâ are taken into trust,
How easy are the wisest choust?
Who see but thâ outsides of our feats,
And not their secret springs and weights;
And while theyâre busy at their ease,
Can carry what designs we please?
How easy is ât to serve for agents,
To prosecute our old engagements?
To keep the good old cause on foot,
And present powâr from taking root?
Inflame them both with false alarms
Of plots and parties taking arms;
To keep the nationâs wounds too wide
From healing up of side to side;
Profess the passionatâst concerns
For both their interests by turns;
The only way to improve our own,
By dealing faithfully with none
(As bowls run true, by being made
On purpose false, and to be swayâd:)
For if we should be true to either,
âTwould turn us out of both together;
And therefore have no other means
To stand upon our own defence,
But keeping up our ancient party
In vigour, confident and hearty;
To reconcile our late dissenters,
Our brethren, though by other venters:
Unite them, and their different maggots,
As long and short sticks are in faggots,
And make them join again as close
As when they first began tâ espouse;
Erect them into separate
New Jewish tribes, in church and state;
To join in marriage and commerce,
And only among themselves converse;
And all that are not of their mind,
Make enemies to all mankind:
Take all religions in, and stickle
From conclave down to conventicle;
Agreeing still, or disagreeing,
According to the light in being.
Sometimes for liberty of conscience,
And spiritual mis-rule, in one sense;
But in another quite contrary,
As dispensations chance to vary;
And stand for, as the times will bear it,
All contradictions of the spirit;
Protect their emissaries empowerâd
To preach sedition and the word;
And when theyâre hamperâd by the laws,
Release the labârers for the cause,
And turn the persecution back
On those that made the first attack;
To keep them equally in awe,
From breaking or maintaining law;
And when they have their fits too soon,
Before the full-tides of the moon,
Put off their zeal tâ a fitter season
For sowing faction in and treason;
And keep them hooded, and their churches,
Like hawks from baiting on their perches,
That, when the blessed time shall come
Of quitting Babylon and Rome,
They may be ready to restore
Their own fifth monarchy once more.
Meanwhile be better armâd to fence
Against revolts of Providence.
By watching narrowly, and snapping
All blind sides of it, they happen:
For if success could make us saints,
Or ruin turnâd us miscreants:
A scandal that would fall too hard
Upon a few, and unpreparâd.
These are the courses we must run,
Spite of our hearts, or be undone;
And not to stand on terms and freaks,
Before we have securâd our necks:
But do our work, as out of sight,
As stars by day, and suns by night;
All licence of the people own,
In opposition to the crown;
And for the crown as fiercely side,
The head and body to divide;
The end of all we first designâd,
And all that yet remains behind:
Be sure to spare no public rapine,
On all emergencies, that happen;
For âtis as easy to supplant
Authority as men in want;
As some of us, in trusts, have made
The one hand with the other trade;
Gainâd vastly by their joint endeavour,
The right a thief, the left receiver;
And what the one, by tricks, forestallâd,
The other, by as sly, retailâd.
For gain has wonderful effects
Tâ improve the factory of sects;
The rule of faith in all professions,
And great Diana of the Ephesians;
Whence turning of religion âs made
The means to turn and wind a trade:
And though some change it for the worse,
They put themselves into a course;
And draw in store of customers,
To thrive the better in commerce:
For all religions flock together,
Like tame and wild fowl of a feather;
To nab the itches of their sects,
As jades do one anotherâs necks.
Hence âtis, hypocrisy as well
Will serve tâ improve a church as zeal:
As persecution or promotion,
Do equally advance devotion.
Let business, like ill watches, go
Sometime too fast, sometime too slow;
For things in order are put out
So easy, ease itself will doât;
But when the featâs designâd and meant,
What miracle can bar thâ event?
For âtis more easy to betray,
Than ruin any other way.
All possible occasions start
The weightiest matters to divert;
Obstruct, perplex, distract, entangle,
And lay perpetual trains to wrangle.
But in affairs of less import,
That neither do us good nor hurt,
And they receive as little by,
Out-fawn as much, and out-comply;
And seem as scrupulously just,
To bait our hooks for greater trust
But still be careful to cry down
All public actions, though our own
The least miscarriage aggravate,
And charge it all upon the state:
Express the horridâst detestation,
And pity the distracted nation;
Tell stories scandalous and false,
Iâ thâ proper language of cabals,
Where all a subtle statesman says,
Is half in words, and half in face,
(As Spaniards talk in dialogues
Of heads and shoulders, nods and shrugs:)
Entrust it under solemn vows
Of mum, and silence, and the rose,
To be retailâd again in whispers,
For thâ easy credulous to disperse.
Thus far the statesmanâ âwhen a shout,
Heard at a distance, put him out;
And straight another, all aghast,
Rushâd in with equal fear and haste;
Who starâd about, as pale as death,
And, for a while, as out of breath;
Till having gatherâd up his wits,
He thus began his tale by fits.
That beastly rabbleâ âthat came down193
From all the garretsâ âin the town,
And stalls, and shop-boardsâ âin vast swarms,
With new-chalkâd billsâ âand rusty arms,
To cry the Causeâ âup, heretofore,
And
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