Myth 18 - MythChief Asprin, Robert (urban books to read TXT) 📖

with triplets.” “Hmmm,” Ninja mused. “I never thought of it that way. You say that she is a sincere student of the art'.'”

“She throws me out of the kitchen every time she bakes a Cake,” I said, making certain to pronounce the capital letter. “She spins every attendee around three times before they try to pin the tail on the Dragon. Nobody gets more than one scoop of ice cream on their piece of Cake.”

Ninja drummed her fingers on her lip. “That is strictly traditional. Possibly even orthodox.”

“See?” I said, persuasively. “How do you get more sin-​cere than that? I promise that as soon as she's back on the throne, she will never accept money for doing the Cake ceremony ever again. In the meantime, I've got to ask you to be patient. We still have an uphill battle to get her back safely to her homeland and restored to the throne.”

Almost in unison, the society of Cake practitioners sighed.

“It's so romantic,” the Gargoyle said. “I can't wait to see how it ends. Is she going to publish a sequel to her di-​ary?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “Will you let me and my friends go now? Can Hermalaya keep practicing the way she has? Maybe if you think of her guests as patrons, it wouldn't sound so bad?”

Ninja gathered her companions around her, and they had a quiet but very animated conference. It broke up. Ninja turned back to me.

“You have a deal, Skeeve.” She clapped her hands, and three of the women ran to untie Massha and help her rebling. The Gargoyle handed back Nunzio's crossbow and helped him brush down his suit. “Let's see how Princess Hermalaya does, and maybe we'll even throw some busi-​ness her way. Please tell her we are at our sister's service. If there's ever anything we can do to help her, all you have to do is call. Uh, after four o'clock, if you don't mind. That's when I get off work.”

Myth 18 - MythChief

TWENTY -SEVEN

“It seems my reputation has preceded me.”

V. FRANKENSTEIN

Massha, Nunzio, and I bounced into the office. Bunny smiled up at us from the book she was reading and reached for the ledger.

“Not that,” I said, holding up a hand. “I don't have any income to report at the moment. In fact, I have a com-​plaint.”

“A complaint?” Bunny asked.

“Gleep!” My dragon had heard my voice, and came running to express his joy that I was home again. He charged into the room, and before I could yell “No!” he had launched himself in the air and knocked me flat on my back. He held me down with both forepaws as he slathered my face with his long, stinking tongue.

“I hope this contest is over soon,' Bunny said, shaking her head disapprovingly. ”He never behaved like that in the inn. Bad! Bad dragon!"

My dragon stopped sliming me and sat back on his haunches. He favored Bunny with a reproachful look.

I sat up. I wiped my face with one hand and scratched the dragon behind his eye ridges with my other. Gleep crooned.

“I almost wish I was back there now,” I said. “Look, when everybody agreed that the contest was to amass the greatest wealth possible for our respective clients, right?”

“Right,” Bunny said. “What's the problem?”

“Aahz is sabotaging us,” I said. “He's interfering with practically everything we're doing to try and earn money for Hermalaya. Someone told a toymaker here in the Ba-​zaar he could make dolls in her image. Somebody went around selling the idea of ripping off the Cake ceremony. All of that points to Aahz,”

“That's a pretty hefty accusation,” she said. “Do you have any tangible proof? Has anyone actually named Aahz?”

I grimaced. “Well, no, not used his name . .. but I know it's him! Who else would have all the details of Hermalaya's life at their fingertips so he could lie about them?”

“Well, anyone who has a copy of her diary, for one,” Bunny said. She held up the book on her desk. It was The Princess's Diary. “This is a third printing. We're probably talking about thousands of copies across the dimensions. And Hermalaya doesn't spare the ink when it comes to set-​ting down her thoughts. I know everything about her except her lingerie sizes. As for the rest of the copycats, you have been getting a lot of publicity. People talk. And people who want to make money use new ideas. Didn't you?”

“Yes, but. ..” BAMF!

“There he is!” Aahz pointed a claw at my nose. “What do you think you're doing, making a mess of my assets like that?”

“What?” I goggled, “I never touched your assets. What assets?” Tananda, Matfany, and Guido all appeared behind Aahz, looking at me reproachfully.

Aahz turned to Bunny. “It's like I don't have enough problems trying to revive a has-​been resort town in a hick kingdom in a backwater dimension. And it's not like I don't have enough problems dealing with people who can't take no for an answer, or poker-​up-​the-​rear bureaucrats, or angry peasants throwing last year's produce section at me. that I have to deal with YOU short-​circuiting my efforts to make things work for my client.” The finger came around and poked at my nose again.

“Me?” I knew my voice went up to a squeak.

“Yeah, you! Who else would want to ruin the displays when I finally got everything negotiated to run like a top'? Who has a stake in seeing my enterprise fail? You.”

I felt steam come