The Consequences of Fear Jacqueline Winspear (i can read book club .txt) đ
- Author: Jacqueline Winspear
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âI canât remember about the light and any direction, miss. It was very bright everywhere, on account of the moon. There wasnâtmuch in the way of clouds. And as I said before, I was close enough, but they couldnât see me. I saw them though. And I sawthose lines, or whatever they were. I thought they were scars, like I told you before.â
Maisie smiled. âThatâs all I needed, Freddie.â She reached into her bag for her purse and took out a shilling. âThere youareâevery little bit helps, doesnât it? Are you working after school?â
Freddie took the shilling. âThank you, Miss Dobbs.â He put the coin in his pocket. âIâve to go over to Baker Street, but Idonât know if thereâs any messages for me to run with until I get there. They let me go home if I have to wait more than anhour.â
âUse some of your money to get the bus over there, Freddie. Itâs a long way from here, so donât wear yourself out.â
âOh, I like running, miss. I like how my legs feel. All sort of tingly. Runningâs what Iâm good at. Everyone says so. When the warâs over, Iâm going to the Olympics. Then when Iâm too old to run, Iâm going to teach other boys how to do it. My old PT teacher said I could be anything I wanted to be.â The boy looked down and kicked his foot against the wall. âHe was training me, but then he went off with the evacuees.â
Maisie looked through the railings as if she were peering at Freddie through prison barsâthough any railings were rare now,so many had been ripped out to send to the factories making warâs hardware: aircraft, tanks and munitions. âYou know, FreddieâIthink you stand every chance of going to the Olympics.â
Chapter 13
Maisie knew that as soon as she arrived at Chelstone railway station, her first task would be to go to Priscillaâs cottageso she could get the conversation she dreaded over and done with. Only then could she set her mind to anything else. She wouldbe unable to give any other matter her full attention until she had broken news of Elinorâs death to the family who lovedher.
Experience had taught Maisie that drawing back from the work of facing up to tragedy could cripple a person from within. Sheknew only too well that any reticence to look grief in the eye might cause emotions to atrophy, as if the heart had been drainedof an ability to feel even the most searing pain. Hadnât she done the same thing, years ago, when she could not face the truthof what had happened to her first love, Simon, during the last war? The casualty clearing station where they were workingcame under attack, wounding them both, though Simon had sustained an injury to the brain from which he would never recover.Maisie had put off seeing him time and again, until months of fearful avoidance had become years and she was unable to takethe first step in the direction of a man so changed by war. No, she was determined to see Priscilla as soon as possible, orshe would drag her feet and too many days would elapse, and then MacFarlane would take up the task.
It was fortuitous that Douglas, Priscillaâs husband, was working at the cottage for a few days. He would anchor his family as news of Elinorâs death brought a dark cloud down upon them. Douglas, like his son, Tim, had lost an arm in the midst of conflict. It was an affliction that had become a joke in the family, after Tim recovered from his amputation. Yet Douglas had proven time and again that he had the ability to hold his family tight and close, that the act of encircling them during a time of deep sorrow had everything to do with inner and not physical strength.
âMaisie! My goodness, I thought I wouldnât see you until Saturdayâyou usually go straight home from the train and bury yourselfaway with Anna! Come on, letâs have a . . . letâs have a cup of tea.â Priscilla chattered on, almost as if she had an innateawareness of something terrible closing in, and only constant conversation on her part would stave off the monster. âYou almostcaught me thereâI was going to say, âLetâs have a gin and tonic,â and then I looked at the timeâfar too early for a drink.Mind you, I always maintain that the sun must be over the yardarm somewhere in the world, eh? Now thenââ
âPrisâPris, we must talk. Come alongâletâs go into the sitting room. Is Douglas here?â
âIs it Tom? Is that why youâve got that look on your face? What is it? Iâve got Tim and Tarquin accounted for, and Douglashas popped along the road to post a letter, but I donât know about Tom.â
âNo, itâs not Tomâall I know about Tom is that heâs training new pilots somewhere in Northumberland, and heâs in love witha flame-haired air force meteorologist.â
âThank god for thatâthough I have my doubts about the meteorologist, andââ
âPrisâsit down.â
âWell, it canât be that bad if my toads are all alive and well.â Priscilla took a seat on the small sofa and reached for her cigarettes and lighter. âGo on then, Maisieâfire away!â
Maisie took a deep breath, as if fortifying herself before plunging into a freezing cold lake. âBecause weâre friendsâlikesisters . . .â She felt her throat become tighter. âBecause weâre as good as family, I have been requested to inform you thatElinor has been tragically killed in a freak accident while driving a lorry between two military establishments. I donât knowthe specifics, though I was assured that her passing would have been instantaneous. She would have felt no pain, no prolongedsuffering.â Maisie looked at Priscilla to check her reaction; she was staring straight at Maisie, a single unlit cigarettedrooping between two fingers.
âYouâre lying.â
âNo, Priscilla, I am not lying. I am telling the truth. I am really so very sorry.â Maisie stopped to take
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