Club You to Death Anuja Chauhan (best ebook reader for ubuntu .TXT) 📖
- Author: Anuja Chauhan
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‘Jai Bhavani,’ says the sardonic Tamilian voice.
‘Daaktar sa’ab!’ Bhavani beams, waving with one arm even though Krishnan can’t see him.
‘You’re panting like a carthorse, Bhavani. Call me back.’
‘No, no,’ Bhavani puts the phone on speaker. ‘Tell us please – we want to know everything.’
‘Well, there’s not much to tell,’ Krishnan replies. ‘We work best with taaza maal, and your offering wasn’t exactly daisy fresh.’
Bhavani waves all this aside. ‘What can you tell us about the body? Could the cause of death be ascertained?’ he demands. ‘Poison, like the previous time? Or something more violent? A blow to the head, a bullet in the back? Stab wounds?’
‘It’s a thirty-something male. But the man was in a compost heap, Bhavani,’ Krishnan says wearily. ‘All the soft tissue has decomposed or been chewed through. We’ve pieced the bones together, and there doesn’t seem to be any injury.’
Bhavani’s jumping jacks grow a little half-hearted. ‘So you have nothing for us?’
‘I didn’t say that,’ Krishnan replies. ‘There is one interesting thing. Are you done with your silly bunny-hopping yet?’
‘Yes, yes.’ Bhavani has reached the end of his workout, and is wiping his face with a hand towel. ‘Tell us, please!’
‘I think he may have been wearing some sort of costume jewellery – there are shards of some sort of blue stone in the mud that came with him.’
Bhavani is conscious of a tremendous feeling of anti-climax. ‘A blue stone? Like a neelam? A sapphire?’
‘Perhaps. We’ve washed it out nicely and it appears to be bluish. There are several large shards. About as big as sugar cubes.’
‘And that is … it … daaktar sa’ab?’ Bhavani knows he’s sounding petulant but he can’t help himself. ‘We sent you a tractor-trolley full of evidence and this is all you’ve got?’
‘Send a fresher corpse next time,’ Krishnan replies. ‘I’m not an archeologist.’
A bright red Mini Cooper drives up to the Crime Branch’s Tees Hazari office around noon, and a curvaceous yet slender young woman, all sweet smiles, doe eyes and softly curling brown hair emerges from it and enquires with pretty diffidence for ACP Bhavani Singh’s office.
An eager crowd of volunteers leads her to the office at once. She thanks them with a sweet effusiveness, then sticks her head into the door.
‘Psst, ACP!’
He looks up startled. ‘Bambi ji!’
She grins, walks in and takes the seat opposite him. ‘Nice cabin! You’re quite a big shot, huh?’
He wriggles modestly. ‘In a very small well.’
She fiddles with the pictures on his desk. ‘Oh, is that your family? They’re all so pretty!’
‘Thank you.’ He twinkles. ‘The girls have grown up and moved out though. It’s just mama bear and papa bear in the bear cave now.’
She gives a peal of laughter. Several people sitting just outside the cabin turn around. Bambi pulls a comically contrite face and leans in.
‘How’s your new corpse?’ she whispers.
Bhavani smiles wryly. ‘It is our old corpse, actually. Nothing but pearly bones. Therefore not very talkative.’
‘Oh! Then maybe it’s got nothing to do with Leo’s death at all?’
He nods. ‘That is a possibility too.’
She smiles at him encouragingly. ‘I’m sure you’ll get it to talk! I mean, there’s modern science and all now! Forensics!’
He waggles his head ruefully.
‘You’ve been watching too many Hollywood shows.’
‘Not me! I watch CID. You’re much better looking than ACP Pradyuman, by the way.’
He gets the feeling that she’s just making conversation.
‘What is on your mind, Bambi ji?’
‘Nothing,’ she says quickly. Too quickly. ‘Tell me, am I also on your list of suspected murderers?’
‘Of course,’ he replies steadily. ‘You were being blackmailed – and your blackmailer’s dead.’
‘Oooh!’ Bambi shivers excitedly. ‘So thrilling!’
‘Yes,’ he agrees gravely. ‘But unfortunately, your motive is not very strong. We don’t think your mother’s kleptomania is such a shameful secret that you would commit murder for it.’
She cocks her head to one side, eyes dancing. ‘And so we come to the reason of my visit to you today. I’m really sorry for not telling you this earlier – and please don’t get mad at me – but I was dating Leo for a while. Before he started blackmailing me.’
This is brand-new information for Bhavani. He studies the impishly lovely face before him – the sparkle in the soft, brown eyes (is that why her parents named her Bambi? His daughters used to love Bambi the deer when they were young, but that Bambi had been a sweet, peaceable creature) is somehow brighter and almost dangerous today. Bambi Todi, he decides, is on some sort of mission.
‘We won’t get mad at you,’ he says. ‘And yes, that certainly changes things. Because now your motive is …?’
She gives a little gurgle of laughter. ‘Unrequited love, the fury of a woman scorned, and perhaps a sex tape or two.’
‘Ah. Yes, that would put you right on top of the heap of suspects.’
She chuckles. ‘Knocking Mehra uncle from the top spot?’
He smiles. ‘We never said he was at the top spot.’
There is a small pause.
Then she looks up, and something about her face makes him think that now, finally, they are coming to the real purpose of her visit.
‘There is one more thing I wanted to tell you,’ she says. ‘It’s all tied up with me dating Leo, and it’s … well, it’s these.’
She pushes a sheaf of A4-sized sheets across the table. The paper is thin and crumpled and the thick letters are printed in black ink. They are all variations of the same theme.
Bee, be patient. We put rings on each other’s fingers and promised to marry and one day, we shall. Mehendi laga ke rakhna, doli saja ke rakhna, and all that jazz.
Wait for me. The A to your B.
Stay faithful to me … The A to your B
Save all your kisses for me … The A to your B
He shuffles through them for a long time, then quirks an eyebrow. ‘What is all this, Bambi ji?’
She hesitates. ‘It’s a longish story, ACP. I don’t want to distract
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