Wicked Whoopie Pies Addison Moore (the false prince series TXT) 📖

Carlotta waddles over with a laugh in her throat and a nefarious twinkle in her eye.

“Did you see it, Lot? Did ya? Did ya?” Carlotta’s feet shuffle back and forth as if she was dancing a jig. “It looks like I got me a new pet skunk. I say we keep the stinker in the stinker’s room. It can act as an air freshener. Face it, that kid’s tush can double as a weapon of mass destruction—of the nasal variety.”

Noah growls, “Don’t even think about getting a skunk near my daughter’s bedroom.”

“Or either of my daughters’ bedrooms.” Everett doubles down on Noah’s threat.

“Relax, Foxy. Cool it, Sexy,” she teases. “The skunk is as dead as a doorknob.” She snatches up a couple of chocolate whoopie pies, one for each hand. “A chocolate covered doorknob. And boy, am I ever going to make all of my chocolate dreams come true.”

Everett lifts a brow my way. “Lemon, please tell me the rumors of a dead skunk are greatly exaggerated.”

“They’re true.” I blow out a slow breath and I look to the bourgeoning crowd as intermittent laughter lights up the room. “I saw that skunky specter with my own two supernatural eyes. And I guess that means…” I don’t have the guts to say it.

Noah nods. “Murder.”

Lottie

Carlson Hall is bustling with enough people to convince me that all of Honey Hollow and then some have crammed themselves into this room. And in just about every single one of these people’s hands I see one of the whoopie pies my bakery has supplied the occasion with.

“Come on, Lot,” Carlotta chirps as she pulls out her phone. “Let me get a shot of Honey Hollow’s most infamous throuple. It’s not every day you dedicate your daughter with both your husband and your boyfriend by your side.”

“Would you hush?” I reprimand lightly as I pull a brush out of my diaper bag and quickly run it through my hair and gently through the baby’s. I straighten the tiny pink bow in Lyla Nell’s hair just before Carlotta snaps about ten quick pictures.

No sooner does she finish up than Mayor Nash, my true biological father, and Charlie, my sister, come up. She’s donned a red dress with a jean jacket tossed over it. She looks every bit wholesome and demure, but despite all of that I sense a wild streak in her.

I can’t help but frown at this new sister of mine that just entered my life out of the blue. And I can’t believe Carlotta was hiding her from me as if she were some dirty little secret. But still, there’s something about her that I don’t quite trust and I can’t put my finger on what that might be.

“Come here”—Mayor Nash opens his arms and my three stepsiblings, Kelleth, Aspen, and Finn, fill them—“I have an announcement to make.”

My sisters, Meg and Lainey, come this way as well, along with my mother while holding Lainey’s baby daughter, Josie.

“What’s happening?” Mom giggles and her creamy blonde hair bounces around her shoulders. Mom is sweet and spunky and has conveniently forgotten to age. She’s sharp as a tack, has been known for her business acumen, but her smarts seem to be lacking when it comes to taste in men. That is, those men she’s dated since the death of my father, the saint who raised me, Joseph Lemon. “Please tell me you’re instating these delicious whoopie pies as Honey Hollow’s official dessert. They are to die for.” Mom chortles and a few people chuckle along with her.

“Careful what you say,” Lainey mutters through the side of her mouth. “With Lottie around, someone just might die for them.”

A riotous laugh breaks out in our circle this time.

There might be a little truth to that fact, considering the last two dozen or so homicides that have taken place in our sweet, cozy town have all had a loose connection to one of my sweet treats—and by connection, I mean nothing more than that one of my dessert was present on or near the body of the deceased.

Mayor Nash chuckles her way. “Now if I instated these whoopie pies as Honey Hollow’s official dessert, Miranda, the entire town might be in peril.”

More laughter ensues, and I suddenly feel like committing a mass homicide myself.

I jest.

A little.

“Now that I’ve got your attention.” Mayor Nash looks to the faces in our small circle. “I want to let you know that the paternity test I took has confirmed—I’m a father again and it’s a girl!” He pulls Charlie in close and a cheer breaks out.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Mom coos. “Lottie, that means you’ve got a full-blooded sister!”

Meg, one of the two sisters I actually grew up with, leans my way. Meg has harshly dyed black hair and enough kohl ringed around her eyes to give her that demonic look she’s going for even on a Sunday. “And that means Mayor Nash procreated on the sly twice behind Chrissy Nash’s back.”

Chrissy Nash was the poor soul that was married to Mayor Nash for eons. It was no secret he was a cad. Chrissy happens to be the mother of my three half siblings, Kelleth, Aspen, and Finn.

Mom winces. “You’re so right.” She cranes her neck into the crowd. “There’s Chrissy now, watching this whole spectacle play out. I’d better go comfort her.” She takes off to do just that as Finn offers me an embrace.

“Don’t worry, Lottie. No one can steal your shine.” He gives a playful wink. Finn, along with his sisters, all share the same caramel blonde locks. Kelleth likes to cake on her cosmetics, while Aspen is a blonde Betty Boop.

“Thanks, Finn.” I give him an extra squeeze. No offense to Kelleth and Aspen, but my brother is the most normal of the Nash bunch.

Mayor Nash holds up a hand. “And now we’ve got to celebrate. I vote we have a good old-fashioned family reunion.”

“Great idea,” Carlotta chirps. “Lot Lot will provide the