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was impossible to know what she was thinking at that moment.

“You have until noon to make your decision,” the Colonel told the group. He took Patricia’s arm and the two of them walked across the marketplace. The big blue robot followed them.

The two robot soldiers returned to their places behind me and it was clear that I was to go back with them.

“You can’t go back there,” Madam Fifi said. “They’ll kill you.”

“I have to try and help my friends,” I said.

Sheriff Galton appeared at Madam Fifi’s side. His face was slick with sweat and smudged with black. “Gabrielle, I’m sorry. We did all we could.”

Madam Fifi patted his arm. “My people are safe, that is all I care about.”

The building was just a blackened framework now, the ground underneath covered by a mound of smoking debris. Buildings to either side were scorched and their paintwork blistered from the heat, but otherwise they had escaped. Through the gap where Madam Fifi’s had stood, I could see the red fire truck and the volunteers who still damping down the wreckage to prevent a flare-up.

“Sheriff, I’m so sorry about Deputy Cole,” I said. “That wasn’t part of the plan.” I stepped forward and embraced him in what I hoped looked like a gesture of condolence. “Do you have it?” I whispered into his ear.

The sheriff nodded.

“Slip it into my underwear,” I said.

He gave me a strange look but did as I asked. “I guess you’re not pleased to see me,” he said awkwardly before stepping back.

“Violence doesn’t turn me on,” I said.

The thin man in the black suit came in his capacity of undertaker this time. His assistants wrapped Jed Cole’s body in a heavy blanket.

“I’m going to miss him,” the sheriff said sadly. “I hoped someday he would take over from me.”

“He did a brave thing,” I said. “He saved my life.”

“Everyone’s heard what happened,” Sheriff Galton said. “The others, the mercenaries, have all quit. I think some have gone over to Colonel Hodge’s side.”

“Keep an eye on Mayor Brennan,” I said. “Don’t let him try anything crazy. Tell him I have a plan.”

“That thing?” he asked, nodding towards my crotch.

“You’ll be surprised to see what I can do with it,” I said. “Tell Danny I’m sorry about his cousin. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to come to the funeral.”

The sheriff nodded. “Be careful.”

“Mr. Quigley,” Horace said, catching my elbow. “Your vehicle has been returned. We have it at the hotel.”

“Thank you, Horace. Take care of it for me.”

“There is also the matter of your bill...”

“I’ll stop by and settle-up in a day or two,” I said. If he believed that, I was a better liar than I think I am.

I walked across the market square and the two robots stayed close behind me. The sight of the burned-out building depressed me as we passed it. But the small plastic device nested next to Little Quincy gave me at least a glimmer of hope. I just hoped the battery didn’t leak.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

My plan was to reactivate the link between Floyd and the robot as soon as I could. Even if I had to give myself an erection to press the button on the remote control. I was driven back to the bunker in one of the Colonel’s vehicles and the same two grey robots marched me back to my underground cell. They didn’t put me back in the manacles. Perhaps someone forgot to give them the order. Or perhaps I wasn’t going to be here long enough to require them. If I was Colonel Hodge – in some parallel, evil twin universe – I’d have Quincy Randall executed quickly. Before Patricia Brennan had time to find out and stop me.

I unzipped my fly and put my hand inside my underwear. If anyone was watching the feed from the security camera, they wouldn’t be unduly worried. Prisoners do this sort of thing all the time. Or so I’d heard.

“Is that all you boys ever do?” a voice asked.

I looked up guiltily. I hadn’t even heard the door open. It was Harmony. She was still dressed like a mechanic’s apprentice. And she wasn’t wearing the explosive crown.

“I was just...”

“Pleased to see me?” she said. She stepped into the room and pulled the door to behind her. “I thought they’d taken you into town to kill you?”

“Change of plan,” I said. “I thought you were coming back last night?”

“I did,” she said. “But the corridor was full of robots and men with guns. I think they picked me up on one of the cameras.”

“I see,” I said. I think I believed her. “Colonel Hodge never captured you, did he?”

“Did you think he had?”

“He told me you were in the cell next door,” I said.

“It’s a broom cupboard,” she said. “You fell for his bluff?”

“He knew you’d been here,” I said. “I thought they’d found you. He said he’d put that crown thing on your head.”

“As if I’d let him do that,” she said.

“I was worried he’d blow your brains all over the ceiling.”

Harmony touched my cheek and leaned in close to plant a kiss on my lips. “I’m the one should be worried about you,” she said. “You’re the worst hero I ever met.”

“I’ve been having a run of bad luck,” I said.

“Why didn’t you escape while you were in town?” she asked.

“I came back to rescue a friend.”

“That’s sweet. But I didn’t need anyone to rescue me.”

“I meant Floyd,” I said.

“You and that robot,” Harmony said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you got him to put his hand in your pants.”

“Have you seen the size of his hand?” I asked.

“Yes. And I’ve seen what’s in your pants.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. I think she meant it as a compliment.

I realised that my own hand was still inside my briefs. “It’s not what you think,” I said, looking down at it. “It’s turned green.”

“It has?” She looked a bit disturbed by this.

“Yes, look.” I don’t know what she was expecting

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