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always give him lots of chew toys so he doesnā€™t destroy your couch or slippers because heā€™s got a major oral fixation.ā€™ā€

Laila giggles. ā€œTell him thanks. Thatā€™s actually very helpful.ā€

Damn. The look she just shot me was pure fire.

She motions to my phone. ā€œArenā€™t you gonna tell him thanks?ā€

My eyes drift to her lips, briefly. ā€œUh. Yeah.ā€ I tap out the message and then plop my phone onto the car seat between us. I ask, ā€œSo, you want to start hashing out the backstory of our ā€˜romanceā€™ before tomorrowā€™s press conference?ā€ Itā€™s what the producers told us to do, so our answers sound credible and consistent.

ā€œThereā€™s no time like the present,ā€ she says. ā€œWhatā€™s the story of how we first got together, my darling? Letā€™s start there.ā€

ā€œHmm,ā€ I say. But before Iā€™ve said more, our SUV hangs a right onto a quiet residential street, and, suddenly, I know exactly where we areā€”and where weā€™re headed. I gesture toward the distinctive iron gate coming into view at the end of the long streetā€”the one I recognize as the gate in front of Reed Riversā€™ hilltop mansion. ā€œLooks like weā€™re staying at Reedā€™s tonight.ā€

ā€œOh, wow . . .ā€ she says, peering through the windshield. ā€œThatā€™s his gate?ā€

ā€œIt sure is,ā€ I mumble. ā€œShit.ā€

ā€œYou donā€™t like Reed?ā€

ā€œI like him fine,ā€ I lie. But, really, me not liking Reed isnā€™t the problem. The truth is, I was looking forward to spending the evening alone with Laila. She already mentioned sheā€™s down to get shitfaced with me. And the last time we were both shitfaced, I practically fucked her off a lounge chair. But itā€™s fine. Whether weā€™re alone or staying at Reedā€™s tonight, the plan is the same. Itā€™s now my mission from God to eat this woman while making her eat those fateful words that have plagued me since the night of the hot tub: This will never happen again.

Twenty-Six

Savage

After our SUV passes through Reedā€™s iron gate and comes to a stop in his large, circular driveway, thereā€™s a flurry of activity already in progress in front of the large house. Several vans and cars are parked there, and an army of workers are coming in and out. One of our bodyguards advises Laila and me to stay put in the backseat for a moment while he ā€œinspectsā€ the area for paparazzi, and when heā€™s satisfied weā€™re all clear, he swiftly escorts us from the SUV into Reedā€™s house, as Laila giggles and makes another crack about the imaginary ā€œspy thrillerā€ weā€™re starring in.

Upon entering the mansion, weā€™re greeted by the executive producer of Sing Your Heart Out, Nadine Collins, who explains the workers are busy creating a studio in Reedā€™s game room, where Laila and I, and the entire castā€”all four judges and their assigned mentorsā€”will shoot some promo videos and photos to be released after tomorrowā€™s press conferenceā€”which, Nadine explains, will also take place at Reedā€™s house, to minimize the potential for leaks.

ā€œIā€™ve sent production assistants to collect some personal items for your stay tonight, as well as at the permanent location,ā€ Nadine says. ā€œWe should have the new place lined up by tomorrow night.ā€

We thank her and she asks if we have any questions.

ā€œHave you been able to confirm my mentor yet?ā€ Laila asks. As was discussed today during one of our phone calls with the producers, now that Laila has been unexpectedly promoted to judge, both Laila and Aloha will need mentors, both of which will be selected by the producers with an eye toward maximizing ratings.

ā€œWeā€™ve got several mentor candidates weā€™re in talks with,ā€ Nadine replies. ā€œIā€™ve got a scheduled call to finalize our decision in . . . ā€ She looks at her watch. ā€œDamn. Iā€™m late for my call. Reed is out back having a get-together with some friends. He said for you to come outside and join him.ā€ She calls to an elegant older woman who looks to be Latina, and when she arrives, the woman introduces herself as Reedā€™s longtime housekeeper, Amalia. Nadine tasks Amalia with escorting us outside and getting us fed before scurrying off for her call like a chicken with her head cut off.

ā€œWould you prefer to see your rooms before joining Reed outside?ā€ Amalia asks. ā€œOr room, if thatā€™s what you prefer?ā€

ā€œWeā€™ll definitely need separate rooms,ā€ Laila replies. ā€œIs there food outside?ā€

ā€œYes, lots of it.ā€

ā€œThen Iā€™d prefer to go outside now and see our rooms later, please. If thatā€™s okay. Iā€™m starving.ā€

ā€œOf course, dear. As you wish. Iā€™ll be here all night.ā€

We follow the elegant housekeeper toward a set of double doors. And I canā€™t help feeling an illogical pang of disappointment Laila said weā€™ll need separate rooms.

Outside, we find Reed partying with a small group of friends. Weā€™re introduced to the only people we havenā€™t met beforeā€”a couple Reed introduces as Henn and Hannah. From there, we greet the rest, all of whom we know. When Laila greets everyone, she gives them hugs like theyā€™re her lifelong besties, while I dispense a series of simple hellos. Iā€™m especially standoffish with the wife of Dax Morgan, the lead singer of 22 Goats. Daxā€™s wife, Violet, is also Reedā€™s little sister. The one I flirted with a few years ago at a party, long before Violet had met Dax, without me realizing her connection to Reed. I donā€™t know if Dax knows the story, but I wouldnā€™t put it past Reed to tell him, and I feel a bit awkward about it.

Besides Dax and Violet, Iā€™m relieved to see Fish, the bass player of 22 Goats, and his cute girlfriend, Alessandra, the artist from the music video in New York, are also here. Those two are as nice as humans come from the factory. So, at least, until Kendrick gets here, I wonā€™t feel like the entire party hates me.

As conversation continues, I hang back and watch my fake girlfriend flit around Reedā€™s patio like the social butterfly she is, easily engaging with everyone, the same way she did during our

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