All the Little Things Sarah Lawton (red white royal blue TXT) 📖

grinding onto Matthew Grey. I think of her texting my Alex, trying to break us up, of her touching me. I think of the silver tear slick on her face.

‘No.’

‘Anything you can remember could be important, Vivian. She hasn’t been seen by anyone since Saturday. Was she involved with anyone?’

‘Yes.’ I suddenly think of something I can actually tell them. ‘Actually, yes, she was. She was having a thing with Tristan, Tilly Beaumont’s brother who died. They’d been having sex.’

I see Mum rock slightly at this news – she had no idea Molly wasn’t an angel. I wonder if she has any idea that I have had sex. I don’t think so, she’s been so out of it lately. I’m sure I’m still innocent little Vivian in her stupid blind eyes.

‘That’s something we have been bearing in mind, Vivian,’ says PC Red Cheeks. ‘That she may have been upset by Tristan’s murder.’

‘Murder!’ Mum suddenly pipes up, horror in her voice. ‘He was in an accident, he wasn’t murdered!’

‘On the contrary, Miss Sanders,’ says the male policeman in a rough, gravelled voice that doesn’t suit his young face, ‘we believe that Tristan’s car may have been tampered with in some way prior to his accident. We are conducting enquiries as to that effect, and we also believe that Molly’s disappearance could be connected. This is a small place, after all. If they were having some sort of relationship, it could be a lead.’

I’m not impressed about what they are saying about Tristan’s death. I fidget, uneasy. No one actually wanted him to die, that’s just ridiculous. If he’s dead, it was his own fault that he couldn’t control his car properly, surely? How is that murder?

‘She wasn’t just with Tristan, though,’ I blurt out, disconcerted by this turn of events and wanting to get them under my control again. ‘She was having sex with other boys, too. You should speak to Matthew Grey from school as well, and there are probably others. She was going off the rails, but no one knew why. I think she was drinking a lot too – cider and stuff, maybe vodka. She was drunk all the time. She always runs away, I’m sure she’ll be back soon, pretending nothing has happened.’ I deliberately cast my eyes down, bite my lip, hitch a breath. Should I tell them she was secretly in love with me too? No.

Both of them look at me for a long moment. They think I am a Judas, betraying Molly, but it’s the truth. Everyone will find out eventually, anyway. They’ll find out, and then they will forget, everything will blow over and everything can go back to normal. I can be popular again, everyone likes us. I just need to get Serena and Tilly back on my side, we don’t need Molly. Molly went wrong.

PC Red Cheeks passes Mum a card with several phone numbers on it. Her fingernails are bitten right back to the quick, a red bead of blood glistening on one raw cuticle. She must have been chewing it on the way here. It holds my eye. There’s nothing quite like the colour of fresh blood, but it’s gone so quickly into a nasty, dark stain.

‘My name is DS Henderson. Please call us straight away if you remember anything that might help us find Molly.’

They both stand up and I see that the policeman is even taller than PC Red Cheeks, Henderson, whatever. Mum is sitting like a statue on the sofa as I walk out with them, close the door behind them.

I stand for a second leaning against it – I need to take some deep breaths to settle my stomach. When I get back Mum is still there, frozen in the same position on the sofa, staring up at me all pale and wispy. The sudden lack of her substance, of her there-ness, is disquieting.

‘Why didn’t you tell me any of this, Vivian?’ she whispers.

‘Any of what?’

‘Don’t be evasive. What has been going on with Molly? You know where she is, don’t you?’

‘No! I don’t know where she is – she’s been a complete nightmare recently and I didn’t tell you about any of it because it’s not any of your business! I’m not nine! You can’t expect me to tell you everything any more, you have to let it go. I’m not doing it.’

‘Viv… you can’t blame me for being concerned, not after what happened before…’

I can’t believe she would bring that up. I lose it then. ‘Just shut up! Shut! Up! Why didn’t you tell me the police were here? Did you not think that it might upset me? I hate you!’

She rubs at her temples, then slowly pushes herself to her feet, moving like she aches everywhere. ‘This weather is giving me an awful headache, Viv. I need to go and lie down. Are you okay to fix yourself some tea? There’s still pasta in the fridge from yesterday.’

Did she not even hear any of that? Did I even say it? I feel like there is a vortex in my head, mixing everything around. I don’t know where I am any more. I can only whisper. ‘Mum, are we still going to Dorset on Friday?’

‘Yes, darling, I don’t see why not, unless you want to stay? I think we both need to get away from here for a while.’

‘I don’t want to stay, no.’

And then she goes upstairs, slowly, like an old person. I get my phone out of my school bag, but there’s nothing on it. Nothing.

Rachel

I woke up the next morning with a ringing head. I’d been drinking again after Vivian had gone to bed: I crept downstairs and drank a bottle of wine followed by gulps of vodka straight from the bottle I kept in the freezer for emergencies. The icy cold liquid had burned a trail from my throat to my stomach like acid, and there was still acid there when I got up. It didn’t help me