Jonny's Redemption (Gemini Group Book 7) Riley Edwards (ebook reader screen .TXT) 📖

he’d missed out on having. That was the loss he needed to forgive. Not the lies, or the secrets, or the mean words his mother spewed when she drank.

The loss of love and affection.

Fuck.

In the end, forgiveness had to come from Jonny the man, but it had to start with Jonny the little boy who’d craved love.

“All I wanted was for them to love me. I wanted a dollar under my pillow after I lost a tooth. I wanted cuddles on the couch. I wanted movie nights. I wanted hot chocolate and bedtime stories. I had that, Bobby, I can remember it, then she took it away. I fucking hate her for it. I hate him for hurting her. I hate Doug and all he represented. Goddamn, I hate them so much for stealing my life. But mostly I hate that I’m such a pussy I can’t stop wanting my fucking mommy to hug me and make this pain go away.”

Two things happened at once and both happened fast. Bobby threw her leg over Jonny and rolled astride him, then her hands went to cup his jaw. When she had captured his undivided attention, her face a mask of fury and pain, it hit Jonny that Alec Hall wasn’t only smart—he was manipulative. He knew how Bobby would react, hell, everyone knew her loyalty to those she loved was unparalleled.

“You are not a pussy, Jonathan,” she growled. “Don’t you ever say that again. There is nothing wrong with wanting your mother to love and care for you. Do you hear me? Nothing. It’s what a mother is supposed to do. You were a child hungry for your parents’ affection and neither of them was capable of giving it. I get it, why you hate them. I understand what you’re feeling. But something you told me hit home—I want a future. And what I want is in front of me, not behind me. You and me, Jonny, we have one option and that’s to look forward—together. Step into the unknown with me. I promise it’s not as scary as I thought it would be. Though the first step isn’t forgiving them, or even yourself, it’s way harder. And the realization is a slap in the face and a kick to the gut. They aren’t the ones holding you back, it is you who will not let go. Two out of the three people who did you wrong are dead. Two important men in your life that you have not allowed yourself to mourn—and, honey, it is okay to mourn them. You have to.”

Her eyes bored into his soul. “Please, Jonny, admit to yourself you still love your mom and want her well. It’s a beautiful thing, the love a son has for his mother. It’s beautiful that you love yours so much, so unconditionally, that you still need that affection from her. That doesn’t make you a pussy. That’s makes you a son who loves his mamma.”

Unable to take it a second longer, Jonny wrenched his eyes closed. But Bobby, being the woman who was in it for the long haul—meaning forever—was undeterred. She didn’t roll off Jonny and allow him to retreat. Instead, she lowered herself down, shoved her face in his neck, and blanketed his body with her own. She was literally covering him and he could feel the warmth of her love seeping into his skin. And the longer she lay there, the deeper the heat tunneled, until those lacerations began to mend.

Jonny wrapped his arms around Bobby and held on. With each thought that flitted through his mind, his embrace tightened. Each transgression he let float away, each good memory he allowed himself to feel, and he had to admit that he had loved his father. Despite what the man had done, as a little boy, Jonny had loved him. He’d loved his brother, too, before it had all gone bad. And now they were dead. The grief of losing them felt fresh and new, a love that had nowhere to go. There would be no opportunity to fix things, no way for them to make amends with Jonny, each other, or with Anita. A family lost. He had to let that go, too.

Whole heart. Whole soul.

Those were Jonny’s final thoughts when he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. But the ceiling was not what he was contemplating, the smell of Bobby’s hair was. Peaches and vanilla. The scent he associated with peace, with love, with his future.

“I loved them,” Jonny whispered. “When my brother first came to live with us things changed but not all at once. He was so sad, he missed his mom. And one day he was crying in his room and he told me was scared he’d never see her again. I don’t remember what I said to him, but it couldn’t have been anything reassuring because I was a little kid. But I do remember we pulled the sheets off his bed and mine and we built this huge fort in his room. When we were done he said he wanted to live in there forever. And Doug was the master of card games, we’d play Old Maid for hours. I wanted him to be my big brother.”

Bobby hummed and nuzzled closer.

It would be a long time before Jonny ran out of stories and drifted to sleep with Bobby covering him, keeping him safe. But it would be longer still before the ache in Bobby’s heart subsided enough for her to drift off. Jonny’s strong arms holding her tight.

24

Thank the good Lord for private jets and little babies who were perfect angels. Those two things made it possible for me to nap the whole flight to Nashville. Sure, it was only two hours but it was a much-needed two hours after going to bed late then waking up at four in the morning to start work.

I had Evie’s schedule down jam-packed. The unfortunate side effect of her not