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“When?” he asked, his voice sounding strangely hollow.

“You have to understand… We didn’t know you yet,” she tried to explain.

“When did you use it on me, Maggie?” Jericho asked.

“When you first arrived in St. Louis.” She stared at the ground, because she couldn’t bear to face him. “Ruth never trusted newcomers, so she usually used it whenever someone wanted to join us. We never gave a full dose, only enough to loosen a newcomer’s tongue but not so much that they’d realize what was happening. You were no exception, but I had a feeling you were going to be different. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I gave it to you.”

For a long stretch of seconds, the room filled with the kind of silence that chafed. “You never told me. Even after all this time we’ve known each other?”

“I didn’t know how.” She glanced up then, and the look on his face was even worse than she’d imagined it might be.

“All those nights we sat up late, talking about all sorts of things. I thought we were—” Jericho let out a dark laugh. His eyes, usually so warm and soft, glinted with anger. “You let me prattle on like a fool, and all the while you already knew everything there was to know about me.”

“It’s not like that,” Maggie said, stepping toward Jericho, reaching for him. But he pulled back, and she let her arm drop to her side. “The minute Ruth started asking you questions, I left. Don’t you remember? I left because I didn’t want to hear what you told her. I didn’t want to take your secrets from you.”

“You sure didn’t stop your sister from taking them, though,” North charged.

Esta and Cordelia were silent, but Maggie could feel their attention on her. This whole scene was bad enough, but somehow having these two witnesses made her shame burn that much hotter.

“You’re right,” Maggie admitted. There was no way around it, and no reason to pretend now. “I let Ruth pressure me, like I always did, but I knew the minute I met you that things were going to be different. I had the sense that you were going to change everything for me. I couldn’t stop Ruth—” She paused, shaking her head. “No… I didn’t even try. But making that mistake changed something in me.”

“You left me alone with her,” Jericho charged.

Maggie took his anger, without argument or complaint. “I left, because I didn’t want to take anything else from you. I wanted you to give me your story, free and clear. I wanted to deserve it.”

“I thought you did,” North said, and somehow the way his voice had gone soft and hollow tore through her.

“I’m sorry, Jericho,” Maggie told him, taking another step closer. “I was a different person then, but that’s not an excuse. I’ve never stopped being sorry—”

“If you were so sorry, you would have told me,” he said.

That made Maggie press her lips together. There was no excuse for what she’d done, but there was even less of an excuse for keeping the secret for so long. Still, she had to make him understand. “I can’t go back and undo it. I wish I’d been brave enough to trust you. But I need you to know that making that mistake made me realize that Ruth wasn’t perfect or infallible. And I never let her do it again. Ever. Not to you, not to anyone.” She glanced at Esta, who was frowning thoughtfully at her. “Not even when it would have been easier.”

“You’re willing to do it now, though,” Jericho pointed out. “You’ve kept it all this time, and now you’re willing to take the choice from a man who’s done nothing to you.”

“If there were any other way…” If getting the dagger weren’t so important. Maggie met his eyes then, her shoulders a little straighter. “I can’t take back my past, Jericho. But with the dagger, we might have a real chance to make a different future for ourselves. For everyone with the old magic. So, yes. I’m willing to use the truth tablets again to make that future—for you. For us.”

“Whatever happened in the past, Maggie’s right—we need to focus on what we can do now,” Esta said softly. “I don’t love the idea of drugging someone, but the sooner we know if Pickett still has the dagger, the sooner we can either retrieve it from him or get on with finding it. I don’t see any other way. Not with multiple Brotherhoods closing in.”

Maggie was thankful for the support, but it didn’t stop North from turning away from her. It was like he couldn’t even look at her.

“Cordelia,” Esta said. “What are the chances you could slip Pickett the formulation?”

Cordelia frowned. “We work together, but not together, you know? People mostly keep to their own, and it might draw attention if I’m cozying up to a man I’ve never shown any interest in before. Especially a man like Pickett.” She let out a sigh. “Honestly, that alone might cause Pickett trouble with some of the others. Not everyone in the show was happy when the Curtises added him to the bill, mostly because of the color of his skin. A lot of the cowboys didn’t like being upstaged by someone they see as beneath them.”

“Then that won’t work. We don’t want to cause Pickett any more trouble than we absolutely have to,” Esta said. “Is there anyone else that could help? Another of the Antistasi you might trust?”

“I can do it,” Jericho said, his voice flat and dull as an old penny.

“Jericho—” Maggie started, but the look he shot in her direction had her going silent.

“There are too many people involved as it is. If Cordelia can get me onto the grounds, maybe get me a position in the show, I can get close to Pickett. I know my way around a horse well enough.”

“But the Syndicate is there.” Maggie’s stomach dropped. Jot Gunter had almost killed North

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