Hard Times Charles Dickens (motivational books for men .TXT) 📖

I was, I am no longer. Indeed,” said she, “if I could altogether cancel the remembrance that Mr. Sparsit was a Powler, or that I myself am related to the Scadgers family; or if I could even revoke the fact, and make myself a person of common descent and ordinary connections; I would gladly do so. I should think it, under existing circumstances, right to do so.” The same Hermitical state of mind led to her renunciation of made dishes and wines at dinner, until fairly commanded by Mr. Bounderby to take them; when she said, “Indeed you are very good, sir;” and departed from a resolution of which she had made rather formal and public announcement, to “wait for the simple mutton.” She was likewise deeply apologetic for wanting the salt; and, feeling amiably bound to bear out Mr. Bounderby to the fullest extent in the testimony he had borne to her nerves, occasionally sat back in her chair and silently wept; at which periods a tear of large dimensions, like a crystal earring, might be observed (or rather, must be, for it insisted on public notice) sliding down her Roman nose.

But Mrs. Sparsit’s greatest point, first and last, was her determination to pity Mr. Bounderby. There were occasions when in looking at him she was involuntarily moved to shake her head, as who would say, “Alas, poor Yorick!” After allowing herself to be betrayed into these evidences of emotion, she would force a lambent brightness, and would be fitfully cheerful, and would say, “You have still good spirits, sir, I am thankful to find;” and would appear to hail it as a blessed dispensation that Mr. Bounderby bore up as he did. One idiosyncrasy for which she often apologized, she found it excessively difficult to conquer. She had a curious propensity to call Mrs. Bounderby “Miss Gradgrind,” and yielded to it some three or four score times in the course of the evening. Her repetition of this mistake covered Mrs. Sparsit with modest confusion; but indeed, she said, it seemed so natural to say Miss Gradgrind: whereas, to persuade herself that the young lady whom she had had the happiness of knowing from a child could be really and truly Mrs. Bounderby, she found almost impossible. It was a further singularity of this remarkable case, that the more she thought about it, the more impossible it appeared; “the differences,” she observed, “being such.”

In the drawing-room after dinner, Mr. Bounderby tried the case of the robbery, examined the witnesses, made notes of the evidence, found the suspected persons guilty, and sentenced them to the extreme punishment of the law. That done, Bitzer was dismissed to town with instructions to recommend Tom to come home by the mail-train.

When candles were brought, Mrs. Sparsit murmured, “Don’t be low, sir. Pray let me see you cheerful, sir, as I used to do.” Mr. Bounderby, upon whom these consolations had begun to produce the effect of making him, in a bullheaded blundering way, sentimental, sighed like some large sea-animal. “I cannot bear to see you so, sir,” said Mrs. Sparsit. “Try a hand at backgammon, sir, as you used to do when I had the honour of living under your roof.” “I haven’t played backgammon, ma’am,” said Mr. Bounderby, “since that time.” “No, sir,” said Mrs. Sparsit, soothingly, “I am aware that you have not. I remember that Miss Gradgrind takes no interest in the game. But I shall be happy, sir, if you will condescend.”

They played near a window, opening on the garden. It was a fine night: not moonlight, but sultry and fragrant. Louisa and Mr. Harthouse strolled out into the garden, where their voices could be heard in the stillness, though not what they said. Mrs. Sparsit, from her place at the backgammon board, was constantly straining her eyes to pierce the shadows without. “What’s the matter, ma’am?” said Mr. Bounderby; “you don’t see a fire, do you?” “Oh dear no, sir,” returned Mrs. Sparsit, “I was thinking of the dew.” “What have you got to do with the dew, ma’am?” said Mr. Bounderby. “It’s not myself, sir,” returned Mrs. Sparsit, “I am fearful of Miss Gradgrind’s taking cold.” “She never takes cold,” said Mr. Bounderby. “Really, sir?” said Mrs. Sparsit. And was affected with a cough in her throat.

When the time drew near for retiring, Mr. Bounderby took a glass of water. “Oh, sir?” said Mrs. Sparsit. “Not your sherry warm, with lemon-peel and nutmeg?” “Why, I have got out of the habit of taking it now, ma’am,” said Mr. Bounderby. “The more’s the pity, sir,” returned Mrs. Sparsit; “you are losing all your good old habits. Cheer up, sir! If Miss Gradgrind will permit me, I will offer to make it for you, as I have often done.”

Miss Gradgrind readily permitting Mrs. Sparsit to do anything she pleased, that considerate lady made the beverage, and handed it to Mr. Bounderby. “It will do you good, sir. It will warm your heart. It is the sort of thing you want, and ought to take, sir.” And when Mr. Bounderby said, “Your health, ma’am!” she answered with great feeling, “Thank you, sir. The same to you, and happiness also.” Finally, she wished him good night, with great pathos; and Mr. Bounderby went to bed, with a maudlin persuasion that he had been crossed in something tender, though he could not, for his life, have mentioned what it was.

Long after Louisa had undressed and lain down, she watched and waited for her brother’s coming home. That could hardly be, she knew, until an hour past midnight; but in the country silence, which did anything but calm the trouble of her thoughts, time lagged wearily. At last, when the darkness and stillness had seemed for hours to thicken one another, she heard the bell at the gate. She felt as though she would have been glad that it rang on until daylight; but it ceased, and the circles of its last sound spread out fainter and wider in the air, and all was dead again.

She waited yet some quarter of an hour, as she judged. Then she arose, put on a loose robe,