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met after I found her on an online forum suggesting that she could help anybody get the man or woman of their dreams, no matter their current relationship status. To say I was sceptical would have been an understatement, but with little to lose at that point, I had made contact. I say I had little to lose because I’ve spent years watching my best friend date, marry and frolic with a guy who I love too.

I know Rebecca says that she fell for Sam the first time she met him on the London Underground, but I fell for him the first time that I met him as well. Unfortunately for me, that first time was when Rebecca was introducing me to him as she brought him to a friend’s party.

It was clear that my best friend was smitten with this new guy, and I couldn’t blame her. He was gorgeous, funny, smart, with a good job, great fashion sense and a wicked sense of humour. He was exactly the kind of man I was looking for. But my best friend had found him first.

I tried to tell myself that it was just some silly crush on my part and that it would ease off when I started dating my own men and looking for my version of ‘Sam.’ But it didn’t happen. As I went from one dating disaster to another, I watched on as Rebecca became more serious with Sam until he eventually popped the question to her and put a ring on her finger.

It was on their wedding day that I realised I didn’t just have some kind of crush on Sam. I actually loved him. Not only that, but I was actively envious of my best friend and how happy she was to have snared a guy like him. As I sat there in the church in my bridesmaid’s dress, watching Rebecca and Sam tie the knot, I had clenched my teeth and done my best not to cry. The tears had got the better of me in the end, but luckily, nobody knew they were tears of pain rather than joy. That’s the thing about weddings. You can get away with crying because everybody thinks that you are just happy for the bride and groom.

Nobody suspects that it is because you are secretly in love with the groom.

I had hoped that the finality of seeing the man I loved get married to my best friend would snap me out of my silly state of mind and force me to draw a line under my feelings so that I could move on and focus on my own future happiness. But that didn’t happen. If anything, my feelings for Sam only became stronger the more I listened to Rebecca tell me about their honeymoon or when I visited their new home for their housewarming party. I lost count of how many nights I cried myself to sleep alone in my poxy flat while I knew that they were both snuggled up together in their king-size bed. It got to the point where I had almost stopped eating because I felt physically sick. I even had to pretend to Rebecca that I had picked up some virus from a work trip abroad when she noticed my weight loss and showed concern.

I was lying to Rebecca when I said I couldn’t see her sometimes simply because I couldn’t face another day of her telling me all about Sam. I was lying to my employers when I told them that I was sick and needed a day off simply because I’d been up all night crying. And I was lying to all my friends and family when they teased me and asked why I wasn’t settling down yet with a man of my own, simply because the man I wanted was already taken.

I felt like I was lying all the time.

But worst of all, I was lying to myself.

Then I found the woman who told me she could get me what I wanted. She could do the impossible. She could break up Rebecca and Sam’s marriage, giving me the chance to swoop in and claim him for myself.

I paid the first half of the money, and I told the woman to get to work, and get to work she did. Now Rebecca and Sam are separating, meaning he will be a single man again. That doesn’t guarantee that I will be able to get with him, I’m aware of that, but it does give me a chance, and that is all I can ask for. With Rebecca out of the way, he will surely be more open to the idea of the two of us being together when I do eventually make my move in the coming weeks.

Sam will be shocked to find out that I like him because I’ve done a very good job of keeping my feelings disguised. But his level of shock will be nothing compared to Rebecca’s. She will feel betrayed when she finds out that I have made a move on Sam after her, and she will hate me if I enter into a relationship with her ex-husband. It will be the end of our friendship, that is for sure, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make to be with the man of my dreams.

Time will tell if my plan has worked, but it seems to be working well so far. The only area of concern at the moment came when Rebecca told me about some woman called Maria Garcia who was spotted entering a bar with Sam one night after work. The last thing I need after getting rid of one love rival is the emergence of another one, but I’m sure I can handle her too.

If I can get rid of Rebecca, I can get rid of anyone.

Speaking of Rebecca, my best friend has been getting progressively more inebriated as our evening has gone on, and that is made

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