Low Sided A.J. Downey (ebook reader macos TXT) 📖

ever wanted was for someone to look at me like Mace was looking at me right now, and my heart, I couldn’t tell if my heart were tying itself in a knot in the center of my chest or if it were melting away completely.

Maybe it was both at once.

“What?” he asked, concern sliding over his expression.

I shook my head slightly, a confession of that magnitude a scary one to make. I didn’t want to admit how much my emotional well-being was tied to him. I mean, how co-dependent was that? Totally unhealthy… and yet…

“Raven what is it?” he asked, his concern only growing. He touched the side of my face, sliding some of my hair in a light caress to trap it behind my ear. God, I must have looked dreadful first thing in the morning like this, but here he was all concerned because around him, I couldn’t seem to keep any one of my thoughts or emotions off of my face and despite it all – he loved me. I could see how much in his dark eyes as they roved my face. I knew now, just how much in that gold necklace Maverick had put into my hand mere hours ago.

“I’ve never loved someone like I love you,” I rushed out. “It’s terrifying. I’m scared—”

He touched a fingertip to my lips to hush me and cocked his head slightly.

“I’m sorry I let you down,” he said finally, and my heart broke just a little at that.

“It’s not that,” I whispered. “I just… I’m bad at saying how I really feel. I’ve been hurt so much and I’m trying not to be that way with you.”

He looked thoughtful for a time and finally nodded. “You don’t ever have to be that way with me,” he said. “I want to know it all. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly. If I ever do something to fuck you up, you have to tell me, and I will do anything and everything to fix it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Raven, and I hope you know just how much and how far I’d go for you.”

I thought about that damn gold necklace and nodded. “I do know, and—”

“And that scares you too.” He smiled faintly and sighed. “I get it. If I could do whatever I did to ol’ Max, what would I do to you?” He gave a sad and broken little half-smile and I felt so shitty saying it but…

“Yeah.”

“I would never hurt you,” he said, and I sniffed. He kissed my forehead. “But you’ve heard that before, huh?” he asked and gathered me close against his chest.

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it every damn day if I have to,” he said fervently and the vehemence he said it with made me jerk my head up to look at him. He was serious. Dead serious.

“You don’t have to,” I said automatically, and he chuckled and held me a little tighter.

“Too late,” he murmured. “I’ve already committed.”

I laughed slightly and said, “That’s ridiculous.”

He smirked and kissed the top of my head and in a funny voice said, “You’re ridiculous.” Which struck my funny bone and made me laugh more. Then the tickling started, then before I knew it and before the laughter died, he was sliding back inside me and the giggles turned to moans, and the moans to gasps and the gasping into cries of sheer ecstasy.

God, I loved this man and what he did to me so much.

29

Mace…

I left Raven to sleep after our second round of lovemaking that morning and took my ass to the farm to work. I met up with Fen as I pulled up.

“How’re things, brother?” he asked as I shut off the bike.

“Good,” I told him. “Okay for now.”

He nodded and sighed, saying, “You know, shit may have gone easier for you if you’d given me up to Mav when it came to that fuckin’ pig.”

I shook my head and said, “Wasn’t gonna happen.”

He nodded and reached out and clasped hands with me. We pulled each other into a hug and let go.

“Any word on what’s up with Tic getting stabbed?” I asked.

“Word is a gang of tweakers wants to move into Rat City with the meth trade.” He shook his head.

“Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen. You have to be a tweaker to think that this shit was a good idea.”

“Word.”

“When’s that meeting supposed to go down?” I asked.

“Church tonight at eight,” he said, sucking his teeth.

“Plenty of time to get through the chorin’,” I said, looking out over the goat pens.

“Yup, so let’s get to it, princess.”

I rolled my eyes and forged out toward the barn. It was mucking out stalls today.

“What exactly did you say to Raven last night that had her so freaked out coming through the door?” I asked midway through the first stall.

“Ahhh, yeah… that may have been a manipulative little dick move on my part,” he confessed. I leaned on the shovel and cocked my head, slightly hostile in his direction suddenly.

“Fen, what did you do?” I demanded.

“Ehhh, what I was going to say was ‘Mace needs your help,’” he said. “What maybe came out was just ‘Mace.’”

“Goddammit, man! That was a dick move!” I cried, throwing down the shovel.

“I know! I know but look at me. Both of y’all were fuckin’ miserable for no damn reason other than generating your own angst and drama. Hate me if you want, but you guys are good now, right?” he asked.

I scowled and retrieved my shovel out of the muck and said, “We’re going to be alright. Fixing things is gonna take time, but I ain’t afraid to put in the work,” I said.

Fen nodded. “Good! Good… see, it all worked out then.”

“Fuck you,” I said. “It was a dick move.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a dick and I’m alright with that,” he said with a casual shrug. I rolled my eyes and dug in, shoveling the muck