Leaving Normal Stef Holm (classic literature books TXT) 📖

to hear it. My cycle has always been uneven. So even if I wanted to have a baby with you, if it ever came to that, you won't get from me the very thing you want so badly. And I am not blaming you at all for wanting a child. In fact, I'm encouraging you to find someone you can have that bond with."

Tony said nothing for a long while. "That's it?"

Baffled, she questioned, "Isn't that enough?"

"Maybe if you're a scientist and you have an equation for the world's biggest problem. This isn't a problem, Natalie. I just want to spend some time with you. Isn't that okay with you for now?"

"But what about the future? I can't be who you want."

He sort of laughed, but she didn't think anything was very funny. "You know, you women are so intellectual. You analyze this and that to death until you take all the fun out of something. Guys are visual. If we like what we see, we screw all the emotional stuff and just go for it. You told me that." He brushed his fingers across her cheek, his expression softening. "Natalie, right now I like what I see. That should be enough."

Goose bumps rose on her arms. She didn't have a ready answer.

"Sit back," he urged. "Relax. Close your eyes. It's been a long day. Stop thinking about everything."

"But what I told you—"

"I appreciate your honesty," was all he said.

And that was that. No more conversation about it. He nudged her back onto the sofa and she lay there, tense.

"Close your eyes," he said once more. "You are so stressed out."

"I'm not that stressed out."

"You are so lying to me."

Maybe just a little fib.

She gave herself permission to close her eyes. To try and slow down her breathing.

With her eyes closed, she grew more aware of her sense of smell. He filled the room with his scent; he smelled good, intoxicating. Like warmth and wool from the sofa's afghan.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, thinking he must have been lying here sleeping, waiting for her.

"I don't sleep in a deep sleep."

"Still, I woke you." She lowered her chin, opened her eyes. Gazing into his face, she said, "You're tired." But he didn't look tired. He looked great, wonderful. So handsome with his dark features, his rich brown eyes that held her captive. She was tempted to touch his hair, to comb its short length through her fingertips. She refrained, trying to maintain control and composure.

"I'm not that tired. But you are." His arm reached out, and he put a hand on her shoulder, nudged her back into the sofa's soft depths. "Close your eyes."

She didn't want to fight him on this. It felt too good to let the energy of the day drain from her. He took her foot in his hand, massaged the sole of her foot, her heel, the arch.

"Mmm." The grateful sound rose from the back of her throat before she could stop it. What he was doing felt so wonderful. Her body tingled, gooseflesh rose on her skin. "That feels good."

"It's supposed to."

"Mmm."

Natalie let her mind go blank…

Tony watched as Natalie's expression finally relaxed. She finally let go and the slight fists that had been by her side were now open palms, the fingers softly curled and unmoving.

As he massaged her feet, he discovered she didn't relinquish stress easily. A control thing.

She'd tried to take control of his feelings, tell him what he needed and wanted. Maybe part of her thinking was right about them. But he'd challenge it until she could prove otherwise.

There was always a way out, a clear path to a resolution. He'd learned that in the fire academy. No matter how intense a fire was, no matter how difficult it might be to see through the smoke, there had to be an option to get out. He may not see the solution right away, but it was there.

Natalie's lips parted, her breathing grew slower. She wasn't sleeping, she was just in a state of pure relaxation. It made him smile.

She made him smile.

He rubbed her other foot, focusing on her ankle, kneading her calf, running his hand under her jeans leg. He slid her socks off. They were a thick blue. She didn't protest their removal, just increased a breath to pull in a deep drink of oxygen.

Her bare feet were cute. She painted her toes. Ruby pink. He liked the shape of her feet, the softness of her skin. She was soft. Really soft.

And she smelled amazing.

He smelled no bitterness, simply sugar. Sweet sugar from flowers.

He watched the rise and fall of her breasts, the way her pulse beat at the base of her throat. Her skin was awash in the muted light of his lamps that burned low in the living room.

He'd bought furniture. Not much. A sofa and chair, a kitchen table. He had to keep things simple for now. The divorce lawyer and court fees set him back financially, not so bad he was hurting, but his salary couldn't afford to refurnish an entire house in one month.

Having Natalie here felt right, felt nice.

He was more mentally tired than physically. He had to be at work tomorrow by seven. But after years on the job, he never slept deep and hard anymore. Sometimes he did if he was completely burned out, but that was rare.

Tony eased himself onto the sofa, sat beside Natalie and put his arm around her. She opened her eyes, exhaled a slow breath and gazed at him through the heaviness of her lashes.

She smiled. "Hello."

The greeting was simple, but uttered in a sexy-sleepy voice, one that had his arm curl around her and bring her flush against his chest. In the hollow of her collarbone, where the skin was soft, he rubbed his thumb on the exposed area at the crook of her neck.

She was overtly feminine in ways he was masculine rough. Her skin was smooth, like the texture of a rose petal;