A Fierce Archer (Clan Ross Book 6) Hildie McQueen (online e reader TXT) 📖

“And I have done nothing but hurt ye,” Ewan said, once again kissing her head. “I have failed as a husband.”

She pushed again because, in truth, it was becoming hard to breathe and avoid the smell of his unwashed body. “We have only been married a short time. There is plenty of time to repair things between us.”

“What about the other night? What if I cause it to happen again?” Ewan let out a breath and a distraught expression crossed his face. “Esme won’t be close enough to help.”

There was no way to tell how or when the next episode would happen. Catriona would not fool herself into thinking it would not reoccur. It was a part of her now, a burden she would have to live with.

“We will have to deal with it on our own. I will have a long talk with Maisie and tell her everything. It is possible she can help. After all, she’s been through some horrible things herself. The death of her family during an enemy attack on her village several years ago when the Mcleods and the Ross Clan were at war.”

Ewan studied her face for a long moment. “It’s best I go wash up. Last meal will be served shortly. Will ye accompany me?”

“I will,” Catriona replied. “First, I must speak to Esme.”

***

That night, while preparing for bed, a peace enveloped Catriona. She met Maisie’s gaze in the mirror. “Tomorrow, ye and I must speak about what occurred to me when I was captured. There are things ye must know in order to help me should it happen again.”

“Of course,” Maisie replied, her expression reassuring. “I understand ye, Lady Ross.”

Catriona believed the young woman did. “Now, go and get some rest. My husband should be here shortly.”

When Ewan came in, it felt a bit awkward. He went to a side table and poured them a glass of honeyed mead.

Catriona sat in front of the fireplace and waited for him to join her. He handed her a glass and lowered to the other chair.

“Ye must feel better after bathing,” Catriona teased to relieve some of the tension in the room.

“I do,” Ewan said. “I am not sure how the others could stand being around me.”

“The privilege or, in some instances, sadness of being leader is that others are forced to deal with ye regardless of things like that.”

His lips curved. “In this case, quite a sad thing.”

Their gazes met and Catriona took a sip of her mead. “I will be sending a messenger to McLeod Keep reissuing my invitation to Lady Paige to come visit.”

Ewan nodded. “I am glad to hear it. I know ye were looking forward to learning about herbs from her.”

“Ye knew that?”

“I kept myself informed of what ye did. Although I kept a physical distance, I wished to know everything.”

She was surprised to hear it. At the same time, it made her feel so much better that when she thought he barely cared, he was, in fact, involved.

When they finished the first cup of drink, he refilled them. If there was something he wished to share with her, Catriona would be patient.

“When will I meet yer family?” she asked in a quiet tone, her fingers fiddling with the edge of her robe’s sleeve. “I hope they will like me.”

When he didn’t answer right away, she looked up to meet his gaze. His face was soft. “They will like ye very much. I believe my eldest half-brother will travel here soon. He wishes to meet Malcolm and get to know this part of the family since I am to be laird here.”

“I will make sure to have everything prepared.”

“Good,” he said, then took another sip of his drink. “There is something I wish to share with ye.”

A shiver ran down her spine. Catriona took a shaky breath. “What is it?”

“My past and the reason I did my best not to love ye.”

She waited as he looked to the fire for a long moment before speaking again. “I caught the woman I married in bed with my own father.” He hesitated briefly when she gasped but did not look at her.

“I beat him half to death. My brothers had to pull me away. It was then he banished me from our lands, and I left. I demanded that our marriage be dissolved but wasn’t sure until I returned if it truly was.”

“What of bairns?”

“My wife had one child, a son, while we were married. He is not mine. I was gone to train in archery with a master for several months. When I returned, it was only a few days later that she claimed to be with child. The boy was born six months after my return. She claimed he was early, but he was well formed and healthy.”

The tone of his voice was flat, without emotion. However, the bitterness in the undertone was very evident to Catriona. “I am so sorry, Ewan. I cannot imagine.”

“To be cuckolded by one’s own father is horrible enough. That he banished me and kept the whore there, living under the same roof as my mother…that, I could never forgive him for.”

“Was she still there?” Catriona asked.

Ewan shook his head. “No. Upon my father becoming ill, my brothers threw her out. However, my father had suspected they would and had a house built for her. He paid for servants and left a large amount for her to live well.”

To Catriona, it sounded like the man had been deeply in love with Ewan’s wife. He’d preferred her to his own wife and son. It was a horrible thing.

“What about yer mother?”

“Honestly, she has fared the best of all of us. I do believe she and Father came to the point of barely tolerating