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muddy and dripping, I feel like Iā€™m sprawled across the sand, baking beneath the desert heat. My mouth presses harder against his, somehow knowing what to do despite never having kissed anything other than Orbaiā€™s beak. Iā€™ve never felt anything like this. Itā€™s like the euphoria at the height of my Kalima power combined with the comfort of a heavy wool blanket. I am completely exposed yet completely understood.

I break away to catch my breath, and Serik plants tiny kisses down my jawline, making me shiver. ā€œWhere did you learn to kiss like this?ā€ I demand. ā€œIt definitely isnā€™t something they teach at Ikh Zuree.ā€

ā€œI lived plenty of years before being banished to Ikh Zureeā€¦.ā€

ā€œAnd I was there for most of them! Who else have you kissed?ā€ I swat his chest playfully. ā€œIt was Rhona, wasnā€™t it? The cookā€™s girl. Donā€™t think I didnā€™t notice how you made eyes at her.ā€

He shakes his head adamantly. ā€œMy eyes have always been on you.ā€

I melt back into him, our lips moving in a rhythm that feels effortless but ravenous. Smiling against his mouth because Iā€™m kissing Serik.

Finally.

He backs me up against the tree and my fingers curl into his collar, pulling him even closer. I want to stay like this foreverā€”two blades soldered togetherā€”but a long, agonized moan makes us freeze.

ā€œWhat was that?ā€ I whisper.

ā€œProbably just the shepherds.ā€ Serik leans back in, but I shake my head and hold up my hand.

ā€œItā€™s coming from the opposite direction. It almost sounds like cryingā€¦. Do you think there are other survivors still out there?ā€ I squirm free of Serikā€™s arms and cast off in the direction of the weeping. The closer we draw, the louder and more animalistic the screams become. My toes curl inside my boots, and I have to force my feet to keep moving. I donā€™t want to find anyone else suffering because of my mistakes. But not finding them would be even worse.

I crash through a particularly thick jumble of undergrowth. ā€œWeā€™re coming!ā€

ā€œHurry! Please!ā€ a shattered voice calls.

My legs wheel. My heart thunders.

I hack through the thicket and stop dead in my tracks. ā€œYou!ā€

Serik skids to a stop beside me and we stare up at a figure dressed in Shoniin gray, dangling from the gnarled branches like a broken kite. Golden hoops glint in his ears and jagged black hair flops across his face.

ā€œI didnā€™t think you were the type to ā€˜hang aroundā€™ after a battle ā€¦ā€ Serik laughs wickedly.

Temujinā€™s tiger eyes find us, and the horrified expression that twists his face is the most beautiful thing Iā€™ve seen in weeks. A ray of golden sunshine, slicing through the oppressive clouds.

ā€œCanā€™t I catch a skies-forsaken break?ā€ he mumbles up to the heavens.

But the Lady and Father ignore him.

As well they should.

CHAPTER TWENTY

GHOA

THE ZEMYAN SEA IS MORE VIOLENT THAN ANY OPPONENT Iā€™VE faced on the battlefield. More forceful than every Kalima power combined. The water advances in terrible, crashing waves that fling me back and turn me over. Every time I open my mouth to scream, salt water invades my lungs. When I try to get my bearings, it gouges my stinging eyes.

I have never encountered water like this.

And I have never felt so miniscule. So powerless.

The current sucks me out into the expanse of terrifying blue and green. My lungs sputter as the water smashes me lower and lower. My heart rate increases with the pressureā€”pounding in my wrists and throat and head. Booming against my temples.

Air, air, air! it screams.

But air wonā€™t bring me glory. Only ice can do that.

I spread my fingers, reach into my glacial center, and pour all of my remaining strength into the swirling water. But the salty surge refuses to cooperate. Itā€™s slow to freeze, and when I do manage to forge a branch of ice, the swells rip it from my fingers. Before I can fully freeze one wave, the next one dashes it to pieces. There isnā€™t enough ice in the entire world to harden this much water.

My knees sink into the soft, silty bottom, where I droop and sway like seaweed. The sand cradles my face like a pillow, and as my vision blurs, my parents appear in the rippling waves. They gaze at me from across the music room, their sorrowful faces begging me to lift my voice and sing. Sing, Ghoa! But thereā€™s no music in this place. And singing will help nothing.

I see Enebish, too, with black pearl eyes and seafoam scars. I hate her and love her. I miss her and despise her. She is my greatest accomplishment and biggest failure.

It doesnā€™t have to end like this, her voice swirls and gurgles.

How else can it end? Iā€™m trapped beneath the sea. Donā€™t pretend you care.

You could ask for helpā€¦.

From who? I snap. Though, of course I know the answer.

Enebish and her fool gods.

Those old stories may comfort her, but I refuse to believe some nebulous lady of clouds and sunlight will swoop down from the heavens and rescue me. Whatā€™s more, I donā€™t want her to. I donā€™t want anything from anyone.

The burning in my chest and the pressure in my head disagree, and as the agony mounts, the raw, primal part of me takes over. The most vital, inner self that refuses to die a failure. To leave my parents in humiliation and disgrace. To let my honorless warriors defeat me like this.

ā€œPlease.ā€ The word slips outā€”the last bubble of air in my lungs.

As it rises to the surface, just before Iā€™m sucked into oblivion, a hand clamps around my bicep and drags me upward.

I wake to sand beneath my fingers, water in my nose, and lips on my mouth. Cold, thin lips that are as slimy as a dead fish.

When my eyes pop open, and I see the ashen face hovering a hairsbreadth from mine, I wish it were a fish.

I vomit up a bucketful of seawater straight into the Zemyan princeā€™s lap.

ā€œHonestly? You couldnā€™t have retched in the other direction?ā€

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