The Dead Husband Carter Wilson (autobiographies to read .TXT) 📖

Alec’s house is only a mile away but the going is slow.

Everything looks gentle in Bury. A few houses already have Christmas decorations up, the owners not even bothering to wait for Thanksgiving to pass. Bury has always been a festive town. I’ve always struggled to appreciate Bury’s superficial beauty because I know the ugliness beneath.

We pull into Alec’s driveway, freshly plowed but already collecting a new layer of snow. It’s coming down harder now, and as much as I want to stay with Alec for a little while, I don’t think the storm has my schedule preferences in mind.

I ring the bell, Max a foot behind me. He was quiet on the way over, but he wasn’t complaining, so I’m counting that as a success.

Alec opens the door, wrapped in a cashmere sweater and a smile, and at the sight of him, I think he’s the only thing genuinely beautiful in this town. I want to disappear into his chest and shut the rest of the world away.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi, there. Hey, Max. Micah’s excited for the sleepover.”

Max’s voice is cotton soft. “Hi.”

Alec ushers us into the house, and I tell Max to take off his boots.

“Thanks again,” I tell Alec. “And sorry this was so…last minute.”

“No problem. It’ll be good for the boys to have some time together. Micah’s got a movie or two in mind. Popcorn. Hot chocolate, of course. Assuming that’s okay with you.”

“That sounds great. I wish I could be here, too.”

“Yeah, so do I,” he says. Alec looks down at Max. “Hey, buddy, feel free to head into the living room. Micah’s putting together a LEGO set. You like LEGOs?”

Max shrugs. “I guess.”

“Give me a hug,” I say to Max. “Then go play with Micah.”

Max shuffles over and gives me a weak embrace. I bend down and look him in the eyes. “Have a good time, sweetie, okay?”

His expression is somewhere between apathetic and miserable. “Okay.”

“And remember what we talked about. We’re a team.”

“I don’t like this,” he whispers.

I whisper back, “I know. But you need to do this. I’m sorry.” I rise. “Now, go play.”

Alec directs him. “Right in there, little man.”

Max disappears around the corner and Alec steps closer to me. “Can’t you stay for a little while?”

I shake my head.

He gives my shoulder a glancing stroke with his fingertips. “You okay?”

How would I even go about answering this question?

“No,” I say. “But I’m not going to break down like the last time I saw you.”

“You can if you want.”

I nod, knowing the chances of me doing so increase every second I stay. Every extra moment I might have someone to lean on increases my vulnerability, and I don’t want to be vulnerable. Not now, not tonight. I have no idea what’s going to happen over the next few hours, but I need Teflon skin for the occasion.

“I know,” I tell him. “Thank you.”

“Do you want Max to call you tonight before he goes to bed?”

“I’d love that, if he wants to. If he doesn’t, that’s fine, too.”

“Got it.”

I point at Max’s backpack on the floor. “He has everything he needs for tonight and for school tomorrow, assuming they don’t cancel again. He’ll eat anything, but don’t be offended if he picks at his food. He just does that. Maybe no soft drinks… A lot of sugar isn’t great for his mood.”

“Sure.”

“And speaking of, he might get moody. Ever since his dad… You know. He might zone out all of a sudden, and he’s not always comfortable around people he doesn’t know that well.”

“We’ll make sure we give him the space he needs.”

“And…” Vulnerability leans in again and I push it away. The bitch is heavy, though. “Just…thank you.”

He leans down to get closer but stops short of contact. “Seriously, Rose. I’m happy to help.”

I reach up and pull him in to me, not for a kiss but a hug. He wraps his arms around me, and I press my forehead against his chest, hoping to transfer some of his strength to me. I allow myself this moment, five seconds of support, and when I let go, it’s like stepping off the roof of a skyscraper.

I blink away a blossoming tear and look at the floor. I like picturing us together, but the high likelihood we’ll never end up together keeps me from admitting this to him.

What a world.

I don’t look at him as I head to the door. I open it, and the snowy world outside has darkened to a soft gray, promising an early and long night.

I turn to say goodbye when a thought hits me.

“Hey,” I say. “I…I heard about Tasha’s dog. That’s just horrible.”

He nods. “I still can’t believe it.”

I swallow dry. “Any idea of who did it?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know who’d do something like that,” he says. “I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. Wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, which…hell, Tasha’s not far from that category.” He almost smiles, then pulls back. “Micah. Man, that just about killed him. I mean, how do you explain that to a kid? No child should have to go through a trauma like that.” His expression changes, a flash of nervousness. “I’m sorry, I mean, clearly what Max has gone through—”

“You’re right,” I say. “No kid should have to go through anything traumatic, whether it’s losing a pet or a parent. And you can’t explain it to them. I’ve tried. The best you can do is love them. Promise them you’ll always be there, whether you can keep that promise or not. It’s all you can do.” I lean toward the open doorway, into the cold and growing dark. “Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry, too.” He slides his hands in his pockets and squares his shoulders. “And whatever you’re going through, whatever you have going on tonight. It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

“Is that a promise you can’t keep?” I ask.

He thinks about it, sighs, and to