A Wolf After My Own Heart MaryJanice Davidson (children's ebooks online .txt) 📖

kids. I don’t know kids. I don’t…” She spread her hands in a helpless gesture, which made her head hurt more. Everything did. Blinking. Breathing. Mitosis. “I don’t know anyone, really. That’s…how it is with me.” She paused, then corrected herself. “How I’ve made it be with me.”

“Oh.” Sally sniffed. “So you don’t like me, but you don’t dislike me, either.”

“Well. Depends on the day.”

“Hey!”

“Ow! I deserved that.” She rubbed her forehead and seriously considered the prospect of an Advil smoothie. “But listen, Sally. I’m not Mary Poppins. I think it’s important for you to take that to heart.”

“Why? Who cares about Mary Poppins?”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m not gonna show up out of nowhere and take care of you and magically solve all your problems.”

“You’ve only done two of those things.”

“Just so we’re on the same page.”

Lila heard new footsteps on the stairs, on the bedroom carpet, and then Caro was looming over her. “Now what fresh hell is this?” The girl was waving a pad of paper in her face. “Oh my God. You’re gonna make me read a handwritten note in low light.” Click. “AAAGGGHHHHHH!”

When her eyes had half-heartedly adjusted to the light and she was reasonably certain her head wasn’t going to implode as she simultaneously shat her pants, Lila read Caro’s note.

They told you.

“Yeah. But it’s not like they lost a bet or something. They were legit worried I might be in danger.” She squinted up at Caro, who either had a halo or her eyes were still adjusting to the blast of light after Sally hit the switch. “Don’t worry, I’ll never discuss it with anyone else. I’ve got a strict ‘your business is your business’ policy, which I implemented when I turned twelve.”

More scribbling, which was just fine. Write a paragraph. A page. Write goddamned Moby Dick, if it meant she could stay in bed another few minutes.

They told you…but you’re treating me the same.

“Uh. Yeah. That’s…how I work.” She listened to herself blink. “D’you want me to treat you different now?”

For that, she got a patented Caro Daniels eye roll and more scribbling.

About that ovulation kit—Dev only thinks it’s Kama-Rupa because he’s too young to get that it’s just a fairy tale.

“Kama what? What are we talking about? And can we stop? Because I’m dying, Daniels. The angel of death is ready to tap dance my soul to Hell.”

For that she got another eye roll and, even better, the room to herself, as the girls, having done their best to destroy her, departed.

* * *

“Oh, God, oh, God, this is fresh-squeezed orange juice, oh, God.” Lila drained the glass, almost shuddering at how good and sweet it was. Then she nearly Frenched Macropi, who was holding out two Advil. “Not enough,” Lila told her, “but a good start.” She shook two more out of the bottle, then gulped them down with more juice. “Ahhhhhh. I may yet live. Can’t remember the last time I got that loaded.”

“One-on-one time with Oz will do that to a girl.” This from a smirking stranger who was one of the most striking women Lila had ever seen. She was petite and slim—maybe 110 pounds?—with raven hair and crystal blue eyes. Her ruby-red suit set off her pale skin to terrific effect; against the mundane backdrop of Lila’s kitchen, the woman practically glowed. Like Snow White, if Snow White had a perma-smirk and a crisp British accent. “You must be Lila.”

“I must.”

“I am Nadia Faulkner. Annette would be lost without me.”

“I don’t doubt it. I’ve seen her in the field.”

“Yes! With all your cunning little bear traps, with which you were able to thoroughly subdue her.” Nadia gurgled laughter. “Tell me what I must do to get a copy of that security cam footage. Name your price, my dearest, because if I must sell everything I own, except for my Anne Klein suits, that ought to go without saying, then I will, because I must, must have that footage.”

“You don’t have to sell a thing. Gimme an email address and it’s yours.”

“You didn’t destroy it?” Garsea asked, and she had the nerve to sound appalled.

“Why the hell would I destroy it, Garsea?”

“Wishful thinking?” Macropi guessed, busy at the stove. Lila couldn’t smell bacon, but she could smell… Oh my God, waffles!

“I wasn’t thoroughly subdued,” Garsea whined. “Just taken by surprise. Several times. In a shockingly short time. David was furious. With me,” she clarified. “Not you, Lila.”

“Where is David?” Macropi asked. “There’s plenty for him.”

“Case,” Garsea replied. “Don’t worry, I’ll gladly devour his share.”

“I don’t care about anything you two are discussing,” Nadia declared. Then to Lila: “I give you full marks for ingenuity. But how did you come to have everything set up to decimate Annette, dear, dear Lila?”

“I wasn’t decimated!”

“I just Googled ‘bear repellant.’ I’m bummed the Bear-B-Gone is on backorder. I was dying to try it out.”

Nadia sidled closer and took a barely audible whiff. “It’s true, and no mistake…you are Stable.”

“Depends on who you ask. And don’t sniff me, it’s rude.”

Nadia turned to Macropi. “Oh, I like this one. Can’t you do something to abort the inevitable household catastrophe that always leads to the tenant’s swift departure?” To Lila: “You have heard this house is rumored to be cursed, yes?”

“It’s not like I’m doing any of it on purpose, Nadia,” Macropi replied, exasperated. “Besides, Lila’s tough. It’ll take more than a squirrel coup—”

“Or a stove fire,” Garsea added.

“—or asbestos in the attic—”

“—or a vole invasion—”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lila said, cutting them off before she had to hear about more Curs(ed) catastrophes.

“It looks like she’s talking to you,” Garsea told Faulkner, “but she’s really talking about everyone in the room. She’s not subtle.”

“Says the woman who got cut while she pawed through my underwear drawer.”

“Finefaulkner@comcast.net, Lila. And if you could oblige me by sending the footage today, I could make it the focus of movie night tomorrow.” Faulkner actually hugged herself in delight. “Hang the new Fast & Furious movie, we’ll watch