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to more work on my part. Even so, the tick of the clock had me nodding my agreement as I raced back to run a comb through my hair and throw on a tie. The crash and scatter of cereal hitting the floor had my hand hitting my forehead.

ā€œItā€™s okay!ā€ Charlieā€™s voice bounced down the hall. ā€œWeā€™ll clean it up!ā€

Eighteen months and I was still scrambling to fill Natalieā€™s shoes.

The kids were falling apart.

So was the house.

And me?

I didnā€™t have time to worry about me. I needed to hold it together and keep things normal for the kids. (As normal as possible, anyway.) They lost their mom and Iā€™d be damned if I let them lose everything else too. They needed consistency and if that meant running around like a madman trying to fill both roles, then so be it.

My children deserved it.

The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the sitter, and I groaned. ā€œPlease let them be good,ā€ I whispered to my reflection before sprinting to the door and hauling it open.

The teenager Iā€™d hired to watch the kids jumped in surprise, her eyes wide as she tore her gaze from her phone. ā€œOh! Mr. Cooper. Hi. You scared me.ā€ She peered over my shoulder, concern drawing her brows together as she sniffed the air. ā€œIs something burning again?ā€

***

A knock on my office door had me checking the time. My appointment with the Tarringtons wasnā€™t for another half hour, though they were often earlyā€”usually in an attempt to talk to me about their still-single daughter, Lisa. They meant well, but damn. The last thing I needed was someone else in my life to worry about. If I had my way, Iā€™d never get serious about anyone again. Casual dating? Sure. Maybe. But not for a while. The kids didnā€™t need me any more distracted than I already was.

I downed the last of my second cup of coffee. ā€œCome in!ā€

Instead of portly Isaac Tarrington and his pencil thin wife, Gwen, Jude Malone swung open the door and leaned against the frame. He and I had been friends since middle school, along with our buddies Austin Oā€™Connor and Alex Prescott. The four of us had gotten into our fair share of trouble over the years, usually because of one of Judeā€™s ā€˜greatā€™ ideas.

ā€œDamn, Jack. You look like shit. And you smell likeā€”ā€ he wrinkled his nose ā€œā€”burnt toast?ā€

ā€œPancakes.ā€ I sniffed my shirtsleeves and sure enough, I stank. Great. I quirked a brow at Jude. ā€œEverything okay?ā€

He looked baffled by the question. ā€œWhy wouldnā€™t they be okay?ā€

ā€œBecause itā€™s nine oā€™clock and youā€™re not exactly a morning person. And last I checked, you donā€™t work here. Just doinā€™ the math.ā€

ā€œI had to pop into Cheers ā€˜n Beers and check on the ads Iā€™ve got running, then look at inventory. You know, the boring owner stuff thatā€™ll steal my soul if I let it. Iā€™ll tell ya. If younger me knew what really went into running a bar, I never woulda opened the place. Thought Iā€™d drop in on my way and be the bright spot in your otherwise boring morning. I donā€™t know how you talk about numbers all day and donā€™t lose your mind.ā€ He flashed me the smile heā€™d dubbed the ā€˜pantydropperā€™ and I shook my head.

ā€œDid I miss something?ā€ I looked over my shoulder, then down at my chest. ā€œDid I turn into a woman over night? ā€˜Cause I could swear youā€™re hitting on me. Showing up at my office on your way to work. To be the bright spot in my day.ā€ I made air quotes as Jude scoffed.

ā€œItā€™s been a while, man. Since the only place anyone ever sees you is hereā€¦ā€ He ran a hand through his blond hair, then jerked his thumb over his shoulder. ā€œTabitha said you had a few minutes, so I came on back.ā€

I narrowed my eyes. ā€œAre you trying to say you missed me? Is that what this is all about?ā€

Jude huffed as he pushed off the wall. ā€œFuck, man. Life misses you.ā€

Ahhh, that old chestnut. Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. When I glanced up, my friend held up his hands, palms out.

ā€œLook, Jackā€¦ā€ He stepped forward, ā€œI know itā€™s hard without Natalie, but you canā€™t keep going like this. You work. You go home. You repeat. Itā€™s no way to live. You know sheā€™d hate to see you soā€¦I donā€™t know. Shut down.ā€

ā€œI donā€™t have much of a choice, now do I? Being a single dad is really hard. Iā€™m exhausted all the time, just trying to keep things normal for the kids.ā€

ā€œMaybe, and Iā€™m just shooting in the dark here, but maybe itā€™s time to stop holding on to what used to be normal. Maybe itā€™s time for a new normal.ā€ He grinned like heā€™d just delivered an epic piece of advice. ā€œI know. Let that sink in a little. Iā€™m fucking brilliant.ā€

ā€œBelieve me, this normal is new. Nothing Iā€™ve been doing for the last year and a half feels the way it should.ā€

And I hated it.

As Jude looked shocked to learn his brilliant advice wouldnā€™t solve my problems, Tabitha appeared behind him. ā€œThe Tarringtons are here. Early, as usual.ā€ She gave me a sympathetic smile and Jude a ā€˜please fuck me in the conference roomā€™ onceover, then turned and walked away.

ā€œIā€™ll let you get back to work, but not before I tempt you with an irresistible offer.ā€ Judeā€™s eyes lit up the way they always did when he had a great idea. ā€œEveryoneā€™s gonna meet up at Cheers ā€˜n Beers tonight. You should join us.ā€ He held up his hands and dipped his head. ā€œIf you can get free.ā€

ā€œIf I can get free.ā€ I couldnā€™t. We both knew it, but hey, a guy could hope.

ā€œAnd if you canā€™t, youā€™ll be at Evie and Alexā€™s party on Friday, right? Iā€™ve heard her friend is half crazy. Should be fun to welcome her to town.ā€

It was right there. On the tip of his tongue.

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