i f6c06dd9cf3fe221 Unknown (pride and prejudice read .TXT) 📖

then she thought, I would likely have come to this way of thinking in the end, in any case. So she remained silent.

He read her thoughts nearer than she guessed, for his patience, too, was tried daily. Sometimes he felt he was earning a saint's halo simply by living with Father O'Mal- ley.

"God bless you, Kate," he said, and went upstairs.

She stood biting her lip, the tears stinging her eyes; understanding made things worse, it made her ask herself about this question. Can I be right and millions of people wrong?

She thought of Master Bernard's words: "If you find faith in God through the Catholic religion, hang on to it with all your might, for the greatest disaster in life is to lose one's faith."

She was trying to follow the truth, as she saw it; and she had wanted life, full, pulsing life; she had been willing at last to barter all for life. But now she had neither life nor religion, and she was lost.

Oh, she couldn't think. Why bother to think! What did anything matter? The end was near, she felt; some thing must happen soon; she couldn't fight this unequal battle against poverty and tear much longer.

"I've finished the brasses, Kate," Annie said.

"Can I do anything else for you?"

Kate looked at her, and, seeing the anxiety in her face, thought, I'm forgetting about her; I mustn't. I mustn't give in. What would become of her? It would be my early life over again. Place, twelve hours a day, ten if she were lucky, for there wouldn't be any Tolmaches for her they happen only once in a thousand years. She stared at Annie fixedly, thinking. She's too beautiful, shed be dragged under right away.

"Kate!" said Annie.

"Kate, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, my dear, nothing; I was just thinking."

Kate shook her head and jumped towards the fire.

"Go on out to play for a while, if you like."

"Oh, all right. I'll go round to the shops for one more look before they pull the blinds down."

Kate nodded, and Annie hurried out.

Christmas, and not a thing to give her! If only she could have got her some small thing. Oh, what was the use of thinking about it; she must conserve every penny she had received for the watch as there was nothing more left in the house which she could pawn. What she would do when the money was gone, she did not know. She would never ask him for any, and she felt she had imposed enough on Mrs. Mullen. There were other neighbours but she couldn't bear to think of their looks of satisfaction were she to humble herself to borrow from them. She would know what they were thinking . "Lady' Hannigan, brought off her perch at last. She knew that was how they referred to her, and that not an action i8s?

of hers escaped their notice. With the exception of a few here and there, it was as if improvement or difference in another bred hate in them. They were waiting for her to snap. There was a street near the docks where it was easy to make money. My God!

She was in a flurry as she set about laying the tea. God above, what had put that into her head? What had made her even think of it?

Yes, she knew; it was what most of them were hoping would happen.

She had just finished getting the tea ready when Tim came in. She put the teapot on the table and went into the front room and busied herself there.

A little later, hearing his chair scrape, and thinking he had gone to wash himself and that she would be able to slip upstairs without having to pass close to him, she went into the kitchen.

But he was standing in front of the fire, his eyes on the door.

She hesitated tor a second. Then, as she went to walk between him and the table, he held out his hand. In his palm lay a number of half-crowns. She stared at them, fascinated but unable to touch them.

He waited; then said gruffly, "Go on."

But terror filled her, and she could not move.

Swiftly, he took one of her hands and put the money into it, his fist dosing over hers as he did so, and, as swiftly, his other hand moved and pressed hard against the front of her thigh.

She gave a scream and sprang back from him, letting the money fall to the mat.

He was standing staring at her, his lids drooping over his eyes, his hands working a slow movement up and down his trouser legs, when the stair door opened. He turned and gaped in surprise at the priest, having been unaware of his presence in the house, and Father Bailey saw the evil, raw and uncovered, that oozed from him, and the stark terror in Kate's eyes.

The expression on Tim's face fought between resentment and the look of penitence he was wont to keep tor the priests, but something in Father Bailey's face showed him the uselessness of pretence. He gathered up the money from the mat, switched his cap off the back door. and went out.

The priest stood looking at Kate pityingly for some moments, then, shaking his head in perplexity, hurried out after Tim.

Not a word had been spoken.

Kate sat down heavily, her legs refusing to support her. She was trembling from head to foot. Something must happen soon. Something had got to happen soon.

At half-past six Annie came in and asked if she could go to the Baptist Chapel hall with Rosie. The soldiers were there, and were giving a party and presents, and one was dressed up as Father Christmas. And Rosie said they'd get in because they didn't ask if you