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to see each other half as much as we used to. I get it, but it’s great to know I’ll be seeing her later on today.

Jennifer texts back quickly saying she’ll pick me up around seven. I check my watch. It’s barely even eleven am and I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day now.

***

I am just starting to think about going to take a shower and starting to get ready for tonight when there’s a knock on my door. I shake my head. I know Jennifer has a thing about always being early, but three hours early is a big thing, even for her. It’s not so bad though. I can be ready in an hour if I push it and at least then I can stop itching to get out. I am practically skipping when I get to the front door and pull it open. My heart sinks when I see who is standing on my doorstep.

“Jeremy? What are you doing here?” I say coldly.

I really thought my last text to him had worked. He hadn’t called or text since I sent it. But clearly, he still isn’t getting the hint.

He smiles at me, a lopsided smile and I realise from that grin and the slightly glassy look in his eyes that he’s been drinking. That explains why he’s got one hand pressed against the door jamb. He’s probably trying to stop himself from swaying.

“Is that any way to greet a friend,” Jeremy says with a wide grin, slurring his words.

“I …” I start.

“You said we could still be friends Erika. Did you mean it or not?” he says.

“Well sure,” I reply. But I didn’t mean the sort of friends that drop around each other’s places unannounced and uninvited. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see you,” Jeremy says.

“Well you saw me,” I grin, aiming for a light hearted tone but really just wanting Jeremy to leave.

“I need to talk to you,” he slurs.

I open my mouth to tell him I’ve said everything I needed to say to him and that I was actually on my way out, but Jeremy pushes himself off the door jamb and pushes past me, entering my home. He walks down the hall as I stare after him in open mouthed surprise at his rudeness. He doesn’t look back to see if I’m following him or not. He just goes off into the lounge.

I shake my head and slam the door closed, following him into the lounge where he stands in front of the couch, swaying slightly with nothing to hold on to.

“Look Jeremy this isn’t a good time. I’m going out soon and I need to get changed,” I say.

“Don’t let me stop you,” he says with a lecherous grin that makes my stomach turn over and not in a good way. Jeremy must see my expression change because he sighs. “God I was joking Erika. Lighten up.”

I decide the quickest way to get him to leave will be to hear him out and then tell him yet again that we’re over.

“Well I’m all ears. What do you want to talk to me about?” I say.

“About us obviously,” he says, his tone implying that I’m the stupid one here.

“There is no us,” I point out.

“Sure there is,” Jeremy says, undeterred by the obvious fact that I want nothing to do with him. “There will always be an us. Stopping responding to my messages doesn’t change what we have.”

“I stopped responding to your messages because you weren’t getting what I was saying Jeremy. And you’re still not. We tried it. It didn’t work. And I don’t want to be with you. Please just accept that and move on.”

“Baby, what can I do to make you change your mind?” Jeremy slurs.

“There’s nothing you can do. It’s over. Now please leave,” I say.

“Leave? So you can go out and find someone to replace me? I don’t fucking think so.”

Jeremy’s voice has changed. He’s shouting loudly enough that I know my neighbors will be able to hear him. I just hope they’re at work or out somewhere so I don’t have the embarrassment of seeing them nudging each other next time I see them.

“Well?” Jeremy demands.

I don’t know what he wants from me. It wasn’t like he asked me a question I am going to answer. Jeremy sounds angry now, and when he glares at me, I feel suddenly afraid. He ignores me for the moment and walks towards my TV. He swipes out with one arm, knocking it from the cabinet and onto the ground where it smashes in to a thousand pieces.

“What the fuck?” I shout, anger over taking my fear for a moment.

Jeremy turns back to me, his face a mask of anger. I have never seen him looking like this before. He looks through me like I haven’t spoken and then he begins to march around the room, throwing my ornaments to the ground and smashing my favourite lamp. He stomps on my coffee table until the legs give away and it crashes to the floor. I watch, my mouth open in shock as fear courses through me. He’s lost the plot completely and I have to get him out of here before this goes even further.

“Do you know why I’m doing this Erika?” Jeremy demands.

“I … No,” I say, unsure of what answer he is looking for, what answer will calm him down.

“I’m doing this to show you how serious I am about you. And that you can’t just blow hot and cold on me. You responded to my message earlier, gave me hope that we had a future and then nothing all day,” he says.

He isn’t shouting now. I almost wish he would go back to shouting. This quiet, calm voice that thrums with anger is much more dangerous than the yelling.

“I told you we were over. How is that blowing hot and cold?” I say when it’s clear Jeremy is going to just stand there and stare

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