Outlaws Matt Rogers (book recommendations .txt) 📖

He nodded.

She said, ‘How will you take that?’

‘Depends,’ he said. ‘I’m sure you did it for the right reasons.’

‘I did.’

‘Then let’s hear them.’

‘Do you remember when we discussed losing the people we’ve loved?’

King nodded. ‘Our exes. Klara for me. Beckham for you.’

‘Do you remember what I said happened to him?’

‘First you said he was mugged. I saw right through it, so you revealed he was tortured and murdered by the cartels in Guadalajara. He was over there working on a story, right? An investigative journalist. He must have done his job too well.’

‘That’s all true,’ she said. ‘But they didn’t kill him.’

King didn’t respond. He let her compose her thoughts, so she could communicate them the right way.

She said, ‘Plato o plomo. Silver or lead. That was true. They offered him a bribe to stand down, and he refused. But they didn’t force him into a car, and his body didn’t turn up three days later. They shot him like a dog in the street. Four times. Walked right up to him on the sidewalk and pumped him full of lead. One of the bullets hit his spine. He survived, but it paralysed him from the neck down. He’s a quadriplegic.’

King said, ‘Christ.’

‘He hated me for it,’ she said. ‘He blamed me. I remember telling you he had the mentality of a junkyard dog. If he found something worth investigating, he’d sink his teeth into it and wouldn’t let go, no matter the consequences. That’s … partially true. He didn’t start out that way. I shaped him into it. I kept pushing, because he wanted to do stellar work as an investigative journalist, but he was too hesitant, too shy. I was deep in my own government work at that point, and I was stubborn. Foolhardy. I told him, If you want to do something big, go after the cartels. Don’t bow down to them. I poked and prodded until he agreed. Then it took on a life of its own, and it consumed him, but I was the spark that started the flame.’

‘That’s not your fault,’ King said. ‘We make our own choices.’

‘I don’t blame myself,’ she said. ‘But I understand why he does. He broke up with me, and cut off all contact. I didn’t care about the injury. I loved him. I still do, in a way. But he wanted nothing to do with me.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

She sighed. ‘It’s emotionally complicated. I don’t even feel comfortable talking about it now. I beat myself up about it all the time. It’s not … something I wanted to unload on a man I’d just met, a man I really liked. And then … well, it never came up again after that. Until now.’

‘Where is he now?’

‘The cartels caught wind that he’d survived. They started pulling out all the stops to finish him off. Paying off whoever they could get their hands on. It didn’t take long for them to make real progress. That’s when I offered to step in.’

‘WITSEC?’

Violetta nodded. ‘I knew he despised me. I didn’t blame him for it. I figured it was a way for both of us to move on. I used the connections I had to get him straight into the program, and they set him up with a whole new identity, a whole new life. Found him a top-of-the-line disability home that catered to his every need. They didn’t tell me where it was. He vanished, and I went all-in on my career. The more I worked, the less time I had to think about what he might be thinking of me. That’s how I got to the heights I did. Because I slept, I ate, and I worked. Until you came along.’

‘They threatened to kill him if you didn’t comply?’

Violetta nodded. ‘They knew where he was. I didn’t. Eventually I got Alonzo to find out, but it didn’t do any good. Any government resources I marshalled to rescue him would be known to my superiors. They had him in the palm of their hand, and they could crush him anytime they wanted.’

King said, ‘This is a lot to process.’

Violetta said, ‘You know what? Now that I’m vocalising it … maybe I do blame myself. Maybe that’s why I obeyed. Because I feel like I owe him everything.’

‘You admire him. You loved him.’

‘Yes.’

‘Then it’s not that you owe him,’ King said. ‘It’s that you’d do anything for him, voluntarily.’

She looked at him. ‘Just like you do. For all the people you save. The people you protect.’

‘That’s what I try to do,’ he said, then looked down at the Glock he’d been aiming at her all morning. ‘I’m far from perfect.’

‘You are to me.’

‘I just kidnapped you.’

‘You had your reasons.’

He reached down and took her hand in his. It was tiny in comparison — her fingers small and gentle, his massive and coarse.

He heard movement behind him, and turned to see Slater getting to his feet.

He turned back to Violetta. ‘He needs to hear this.’

68

Slater sat and listened.

All throughout, he realised Alexis was his rock. Now he could see everything with clarity. He could methodologically determine what was right, and what wasn’t. Back in the Land Rover, he’d been ready to kill Violetta without listening, and now he understood it was because he’d been plunged back into isolation again. He’d lost the person he cared about most.

Now Alexis was back.

Now he could relax.

Now he could forgive.

As Violetta finished up, she added, ‘There was no win-win. I had to conspire against you, Will, or they’d kill Beckham, they’d kill Jason, and they’d probably kill me too. I had to be objective, even though it was the last thing I wanted. And every step of the way I fought for you. I protected Alexis. But if you want total honesty from me, then so be it. If I had to choose the only two men I’ve ever loved, as well as the lives of a civilian