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you to differentiate a threat from something innocuous, correct?”

You wanted to trap me, Lev’s voice echoes through my thoughts.

“Yes,” Timothy Carlson nods furiously. “My three children, my babies—they know not to jump or scare me. And I did this all for them. I wouldn’t have taken anything if it weren’t for them. I wouldn’t risk prison unless I thought I needed to do it.”

I wouldn’t have risked prison if my life hadn’t been in danger. I wouldn’t have done any of this if it weren’t for my father’s career being on the line. Now, I’m probably having a baby, complicating all of my choices.

“Thank you,” the defense attorney says, sitting back down.

Elizabeth shoots out of her seat. She strolls around the table.

“Mr. Carlson, you claim that you wouldn’t have taken anything if it weren’t for your children. Would you have also not killed your neighbor if it weren’t for your children?”

“What? I mean, I guess. They were why I was in his house—”

“You blame your children for why you murdered a man?”

“It wasn’t murder. It was self-defense. I needed money. I needed to feed my family.”

It was self-defense. I didn’t mean to kill Jeffrey Douglas. I needed to hide his murder to protect my family.

“But this isn’t even your first crime. You have a long criminal record. You’ve been caught breaking and entering three times. There are plenty of veteran organizations that will help you get a job. Have you tried to get ahold of any of them?”

After Douglas’ death, I watched Lev kill a man. I didn’t report it. I didn’t do anything. I learned he was the leader of the Bratva and it didn’t even occur to me to turn him in.

“I’ve—I’ve considered it,” Mr. Carlson says. “You don’t understand. The tension in my head. It’s like a rubber band. I can’t handle it.”

“There must have been plenty of tension while you were breaking into Mr. Cruz’s house and you managed it just fine,” Elizabeth retorts.

“It’s different.” Mr. Carlson shakes his head. “It’s all different. It’s not my fault. I had to—my kids. I had to do it for my kids.”

I can’t turn into this kind of person. I can’t go on justifying crimes, hiding behind excuses, blaming other people. I put myself into this mess. I didn’t trap Lev, but I allowed him to sway my moral compass. That’s my responsibility.

And if I’m not going to be justifying crimes, I can’t marry Lev.

Elizabeth winks at me before she sits back down. She asked to have lunch with me again after court was dismissed. After everything that’s happened since the last lunch, it feels strange to return to how it used to be.

It feels like it’s my court trial, and I don’t see a jury ever returning with a verdict that exonerates me.

* * *

Last time, Welkin’s was alluring, reminding me of what my future could look like. I saw the grayish-blue walls and thought it was the color of the sky before dawn. Now it reminds me of a guillotine’s blade.

“You seem worried,” Elizabeth says after our waitress serves us wine. “Don’t be. We’ve got the stronger jury members on our side and they’ll sway the weaker ones.”

“I’m not worried about that.” I fiddle with my napkin. “I’m not worried about anything.”

“Good,” she says. “Because I want you to have a clear head when I ask you something.”

I unravel my napkin, letting the silverware fall out. “Shoot.”

“Do you want to take an internship in the district attorney’s office?”

“What?” I ask, sitting up. She smiles at me, knowing the gift she’s just offered me.

“You’d be able to continue to attend trials, assist in investigations, prepare documents, and do legal research,” she says. “It’d also look great on a JD program application. Any law school would put you at the top of its list.”

I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to hide my smile. This is more than I could have dreamed. Just the chance to work side-by-side with the DA employees is too good to believe.

“Allison?” she asks.

“I’d love to do that,” I blurt out. “Do I need to sign something?”

“You will, yes,” she says. “But there is one stipulation.”

“Of course,” I say. “Whatever you want.”

“You have to break it off with Lev Alekseiev.”

I open my mouth, waiting for the right words to come. I expected her to say I needed to put off going to law school for another year. I expected her to say that I need to not talk about my work with anyone else. I didn’t expect this.

“How … how do you even know about that?” I ask.

“I know a lot of people in law enforcement,” she says. “We work closely with the police, Allison. I work closely enough with them that they told me that you two were at the gala together and it’s a well-known fact in the police department that Lev Alekseiev’s father was a leader of the Bratva. It’s believed that Lev is still connected to them. I can’t have anyone in my office connected to the Bratva in any form. I know it must seem cruel for me to give you this ultimatum but it’s an issue of ethics. If we get any case where there’s even a slight potential of the Bratva being involved, there will be accusations that we didn’t pursue the case hard enough because one of our own was dating a man that profits from them.”

I nod and swallow hard. “That makes sense.”

Elizabeth takes a sip of her wine. This should be easy. I never got rid of the evidence that Lev offered me, but I can’t imagine him using it against me now. I could see him doing many terrible, violent things, but I can’t picture him throwing me to the wolves.

Though I’ve been wrong about a lot of things already.

“It’s fine that you’re conflicted,” Elizabeth says. “I can give you a week to decide, but after that, I’ll need to give the internship to my assistant district attorney’s son.”

I nod

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